The Patakis
by krossfire
Summary: A fanfic about the proposed Hey Arnold spinoff 'The Patakis' that never see the light of the day. [Update] Episode 10 Driver's License: Helga tries to pass her driver's test with Bob and Olga's help.
1. Ep1: Nothing has Changed

_Preface: _For most of you dedicated fans of Hey Arnold out there, you already know what 'The Patakis' is. It's a show about Helga in her teen years trying to cope with high school and her peers and not to mention it covers about her family as well. This is the first of a long series of 'The Patakis' stories I'm writing. (For further information, see profile). Everything you read here is almost, (okay, a bit of exaggeration helps sometimes) identical to what Craig said in his chat with the fans. This is my own writing on what would be the pilot episode of the show. Hopefully the characters are not very out. And... although profanities cannot be seperated with teenagers since they're like using them everyday and possess symbiotic relationship with them,I have to exclude them out from this fic. Face it, even if 'The Patakis' managed to get on air we're talking about Nick here, a children's network.

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**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Nothing Has Changed.

_Greetings Arnold, son of Miles,_

_I just got back from school, and what a stupid first day of 10th grade it was. Just want to drop in and write to you to say 'How the freaking poop are ya!'. You know, somehow, it doesn't sound cool without the profanities. But you want to know in spite of all the crazy situations that happened in that infested cesspool that we call school today, I'm actually glad about one thing? IT'S YOU, GENIUS! YOU WEREN'T THERE! WHOOHOO! And other euphoric shouts that I'm too lazy to write. Want to know why? Because you're all away in a country called San Lorenzo. I love you for leaving, man. _

Helga raised an eyebrow, looking at the paper and the sentence she just wrote.

"Wow…" she said to herself in awe, tapping her pen, "that's one way to be subtle." She then continued to write the letter to Arnold on her desk, inside her room. Her room was quite a mess these days. Her books, picture frames, and cute figurines were neither organized nor being carefully put on the shelf, her desk was messy, the carpet changed position every time someone stepped on it, the sliding door to her closet was jammed, and her bed was a broken bed, lost one of it legs, the futon mattress was a lumpy sack of cotton, there was no bed sheet covering it, and there were only two pillows to comfort her. Didn't look girlish but then again, she didn't care much. It was a stark contrast however in comparison to her sister's room.

_Oh well, at least you don't have to wake up everyday to go to school, you home-schooler person, you. My family doesn't change much, but I'm used to it. Same thing can't be said to Miriam, however. Mom has a new lot in life ever since she went to the AA meetings, and get this – 'Only you can change yourself to be a better, more cheerful you!' HA! Saw it in her AA pamphlet. And Bob is still the same old, same old. Still doing a lousy job as the 'Beeper King.' And Olga still annoys me from time to time, trying to run my own life. Argh, why did she want to move back into the house after her graduation, anyway? But sadly, I don't hate her as much as I used to. Must be the maturity thing going on. Curses. The chumps, aka friends of ours really had a great time on their first day of school though. Hey, come to think of it, want me to give a rundown of my first crappy day as a sophomore? I'll give you a cookie if you'd just shut up and listen._

**I**

It was a cold morning. It was too cold, that Helga woke up because it, even though she had her blanket covering her. She looked at her alarm clock, and realized that she woke up about 20 minutes earlier before the alarm supposed to ring. With her eyes still half-closed, she got up and woozily reached for her sweater located inside her closet. She shivered a bit to attract some heat, and proceeded to her desk to use her laptop. The reason why she had one in the first place it was because of Olga. Bob was so happy that Olga graduated from college that he bought everyone in the family a gift. Miriam got a very expensive suit she had always wanted to buy, gave Olga a brand new car, and Helga was given a laptop. The latter two mentioned items were second handed.

She checked her email, and received two. One from Phoebe and one from of all people, Rhonda. Phoebe wrote to her about something to meet her at a designated place before school, and Rhonda's email was a spam that she sent to everyone containing a very lame joke about sheeps and Californian women. How the heck did she got her email was still a mystery to her. Putting all trivial matters aside, she went down to the kitchen to have breakfast. Not surprisingly, Olga was there wearing a broad smile as if she inherited it from the Cheshire Cat, standing in front of the stove, cooking. Smelled like omelets. Mom and Dad had yet to wake up.

"Good morning, little sister!" she greeted in a singsong voice as if she just got a part in a children's TV show that everyone in the civilized world hates. "My, you look cheery today!"

Cheery wasn't the best way to describe her. The best way to describe her was that she looked just like someone who got gored by a pack of raving chimpanzees and lived to tell the tale. Her hair looked like the Bride of Frankenstein after she woke up from bed, her face was so oily that it would make any oil company happy, and her face was so hideous that the dude from the _Goonies_ movie would run away screaming in terror.

Ignoring her sister's cheerful compliments, she proceeded to the table and helped herself with some cereals. As she slowly munched them and ingested them down her throat, Olga shoved the plate of omelet to her. She looked at that plate, and saw the omelet as if it was grinning sarcastically at her. "Gee, thanks… _Olga._" She said with a fake sincerity, stabbing the omelet with a fork. Oh well, at least with Olga around the house, she wouldn't have to eat protein bars or the day before yesterday's dinner for breakfast like she used to when Olga wasn't at home.

"Now eat up, Helga. You need all the energies for school."

"Ah, school." A slaughterhouse for children and teenagers alike. "Thank you so much for reminding me, Olga. I feel so much better now!" she replied with a false joy, grinning broadly at her, with her eyes twitching. She then grumbled under her breath.

**II**

After washing herself, wore everyday clothes and took her backpack, she went out to the bus station to school. She had changed much since grade school. Physically, to be exact. She was taller and slim and but not going as far as calling her anorexic. She stubbornly kept her pigtails, though it was much lower than it used to, and she wore a blue cap to conceal a pink bow beneath it. Why would she do that, you ask? It was the few things that would remind her of Arnold. Her everyday clothes consisted of a pink, an aggressive looking pink, everyday shirt with sleeves not reaching the elbow. Come to think of it, putting pink and aggressive on a sentence together was an oxymoron. Her pants were a black colored cargo pants. But other than that, her attitude was still the same, sans the punching, a little. After crossing a few blocks, she finally arrived at her destination, with Phoebe already waiting for her.

Phoebe was a petite girl and still retained her innocent look. She now had this hair made into a ponytail and she still wore glasses. Her clothes consisted of a long sleeved, dark blue colored sweater and a pair of blue denim trousers, suggesting that her favorite color was yellow, no wait, blue. She shot a soft smile at Helga and greeted her. "So you got my email, did you Helga?"

"No Pheebes, a pigeon gave me your note." She replied jokingly. "Something important you want to share?" she said, referring to the email.

"No, actually. There was nothing important. I just don't want to be alone once we arrive in school."

"First day of school jitters?" she asked again. "C'mon Pheebs, it's still the same old school we're going. And you already know all the lunatics in that asylum, so don't worry about it."

"I wish I could share your optimism, Helga." Phoebe replied back softly.

Somehow, optimistic wasn't the word to describe her that morning, Helga had thought. She shook her head in amused disbelief of her friend and resumed chatting with her some more until the bus arrived. They got in, showed the driver their bus pass and proceeded to sit near the front on the right side of the bus to avoid Sid and Stinky at the back. And judging from their indistinct conversation, it was something that neither girl wanted to be engaged in.

"Rhonda's are bigger." The towering Stinky said to his best friend.

"Are you blind?" said the skinny, pasty Sid back, "It's obviously—"

"Shh…" Stinky quickly cut him off, "I think Miss Phoebe and Helga over thar might've heard us." He warned him, whispering. Stinky hadn't changed much, he still kept his flattop hair, except that he wore flannel shirt with those dull yellowish green color and those jeans.

"So? Let them hear it!" he said back, smiling. Sid's hair was thicker and longer but it was still covered by his green cap. He wore a black shirt with loose blue colored slacks. A skater like individual he was.

**III**

_The Slaughterhouse…_

…Was the nickname for their school they attended. The bus pulled over to the curb and stopped, letting the students out from it. The school that they were attending was called Elk High School, arguably the funniest and the most ridiculous name for a school ever imagined in modern history. It was so ridiculous that the students of this not-so-fine education establishment often evaded talking about their school when their grandparents, parents, aunt and uncles wanted to talk about it. And their friends from other schools would constantly mock and ridicule the name. The school got its name since Elk Island could be seen from the rooftop of the school, whether in good or bad weather. It was a rather beautiful view if one stopped to think about it. Strangely, their mascot had been a moose called Minimoose.

As Helga and Phoebe trudged through the scores of people waiting for the bell to ring, they looked around to find their cliques. Sid and Stinky did the same. Helga never really had a clique, actually. She was just tagging along with Phoebe, who had always been friendly to everyone and accepting them with open arms. Unless of course, the person she knew was a complete jerk. That said, she actually never met one. In high school, they were introduced to a more diverse cast of people, from different ethnicities, religion and different countries. What a politically correct school. A cosmopolitan school.

Phoebe waved to Nadine, who was outstandingly in a good mood today. Nadine waved back, and stroked her braided hair back that she made it into a ponytail. She was wearing a green colored hooded sweater and black colored denims on that day. "Hey, girl!" she greeted Phoebe.

"Hi Nadine." Phoebe smiled back. Helga smiled softly at her. "Where's that friend of yours?"

"What, Rhonda?" she asked back, "She'll be here soon enough." The three of them proceeded to ask each other what classes they were having this semester. Nadine and Phoebe got two classes together, but Helga didn't share any of her schedules with them. Sid and Stinky joined their same old gang from grade school, and with some fresh new faces added to their clique. Park and Robert were closer with them than they were in grade school. Gerald came over to them and Sid gave him a joking, friendly hug.

"Oh man… I miss you so-_freaking_-much!" he said in a fake cries of joy, although the last time they met was two days ago when they were playing football.

"Jeez man, the heck's wrong with you!" he replied back chuckling nervously as he tried to shove him back, uncomfortable with the close proximity gesture.

"Whoa, man! You cut your hair! You look like… your brother man!" Robert said while pointing to Gerald's hair.

"Argh, don't say that, man! I do _not_ look like my brother!" he replied back, stroking his hair while looking at it.

But Harold wanted to annoy him and said, "Seriously Gerald you do too look like your brother! Anybody else agrees with me?" he asked, and everybody nodded in agreement with Harold just to annoy Gerald in a good nature kind of way.

"Jerks." Gerald said back smiling, in disbelief of his motley group. The bell then rang, alerted everyone and off they go into the building.

**IV**

"Hello children. Welcome to World History. Here I will prattle about some things that happened a whole lot of years ago that you won't probably care and would possibly die of boredom. And before I forget, my name is Mr. Hartman. Though I share the same last name with the Gunnery Sergeant in Full Metal Jacket, I am not like him. However, if all of you behaved like a bunch of uncivilized—"

Helga listened to the string of profanities coming from the teacher's mouth in irritation. Were they allowed to do that, she thought. Whatever, it didn't concern her much though as she scanned around the room. She saw someone who took offence, but didn't dare to voice his opinion about it. It was Eugene. He wore glasses now, most likely a result from staring the computer screen too much. He was wearing a white colored flannel shirt which he folded his sleeve to the elbow and a pair of blue colored pants, and his face was littered with craters as if a thermonuclear war just erupted. He was the theatre teacher's right hand guy and also the computer geek of their gang. What a nerd. Name-calling aside, he was the one who had the skills to repair any computer he touched, and he used to fix her laptop. Uber-leet, the kiddies of today would say.

"I'm okay…" he said softly.

The pencil that he spun on his fingers accidentally flew out from his hands and its tip scored a hit directly into his left nostril. Poor little jinx…

**V**

It was lunch time, and Helga saw Gerald flirting with Phoebe at her locker. Gerald was a good looking lad. He had grown some stubble around his face, which looked like Sean Patrick Thomas (The guy from _Save the Last Dance_) if you gazed at him long enough. He wore a red sweater that always received compliments from Phoebe and a pair of dark blue pants. Helga approached them and made a sound to clear her throat, to interrupt the blatantly obvious but still in denial couple. Phoebe and Gerald smiled at her and to each other and Gerald said, "See you later Pheebs. I see that your friend is already here."

She giggled a bit and said, "Yeah, see you."

He gazed admiringly at Phoebe and went off pass Helga, nearly colliding with her on the shoulder. She glanced at him with one of her eyebrows lowered. She scoffed a bit and walked along with Phoebe to the cafeteria.

"Why do you do that?" Helga asked.

"Do what?" Phoebe asked back.

"The 'Gazing Admiringly' thing every time you talk with him. What's up with that?"

"Why? Can't I appreciate a good conversation with a fellow friend?"

"No, it's not like that…"

"Then, what is it?"

"Tch. Man, never mind." She replied. STOP BEING IN DENIAL AND GO FOR IT ALREADY, Helga screamed in her mind.

As they were exchanging chats to each other Helga saw Sheena, walking towards them. She wore a black shirt and a long denim skirt. She wouldn't call her a goth however, since she didn't look like one and act like one. In fact, she wasn't a goth at all. She happened to be one of the annoying environmentalist activists that happened to be conveniently added into long list of the not very clichéd high school stereotypes. At least Nadine kept her opinions and her passion about bugs and nature to herself. As they walked, they saw Robert and Park.

Robert and Park were actually few of the small number of guys that Helga could stand being around with. In comparison to her other male friends, they were, in Helga's opinion, quite normal. They weren't as crazy, annoying, or having their hormones went on overdrive as Stinky, Sid or Harold, weren't as maniacal or weird as Curly, or geeky as Eugene. She couldn't say much about Gerald though, because they were cold with each other. And because of Phoebe's sake, she wouldn't talk anything negative about Gerald. Coming back to Robert and Park - Robert was wearing an unbuttoned flannel shirt with a shirt underneath it and a pair of cargo pants, while Park wore the local team's hockey jersey and some cheap jeans. "Hey Helga, Phoebe." Robert greeted them.

"Hey. Nice to finally meet you guys." Helga said to them, smiling. "All the people I've met so far are your moron friends and the weird girls."

Phoebe glared at her.

Helga quickly responded, "Well, except for you Phoebe. You're cool. You're the coolest girl I know. You're so cool, that you're cool." Phoebe then smiled back at her.

"So, where are you two gentlemen going?" Phoebe asked them.

"Well, its lunch hour after all, so we're thinking of going to the cafeteria." Park said.

"Well, _obviously_." Helga said back jokingly.

"Captain Obvious strikes again." Robert added, smiling.

"Shut up." Park retorted back with a soft chortle. "Say, would you nice ladies mind if we walk you there?"

"We'd love to." Phoebe replied to them, which concurred by Helga. And so they walked together to the cafeteria, talking to each other. Among the topics were how this new semester were working with them so far, what schedules they had, and what movie have they saw lately. As Robert opened the cafeteria's double doors, he stopped as his tracks. He felt cold wave of fright swept all across his body. He couldn't move. He wanted to but he couldn't. His nerves didn't respond to the signals from his brain. He had always avoided contact from her, but this one unfortunate day, he had to submit to his fate.

"Hi Robbie!" someone called him lovingly as she slapped her cellphone down and put it into her pocket.

Rhonda. She looked absolutely like her status as a child of rich folks, with her expensive red shirt with an unbuttoned sweater to match it, and a black short skirt to match with her specially tailored Caprini shoes. She still kept her hair to a chin length strangely, even though she always said to her friends that 'fashion evolves'. And even more surprisingly, she never had the urge to join the cheerleading squad.

He forced himself a smile and waved at her, just to be nice.

"Well, your girlfriend's here." Helga joked.

"Oh come on, she's _not_ my girlfriend." Robert replied back.

"Well, girlfriend or not, she has a fondness for you." Phoebe said with a wide smile.

"Well, good luck, Robbie – I mean, buddy." Park said, patting his back. "We'll just be taking a seat and discuss a thing or two about you whilst we dig in."

"Oh, man…" he said dreadfully, "don't bail on me man! She's scaring me!" he pleaded.

"Ah, just humor her." Helga said with a joy. And with Phoebe and Park, which both of their first names started with a 'P' coincidentally, they went to the counter to get their food. They walked past Eugene with his peers, hearing their conversation as they pass by them.

"…and that's why gentlemen, I think performance wise, the Gamesquare far exceeds that of Ecksbox, though I must admit it has some pretty excellent graphics capabilities." And Eugene's allegation was quickly countered back by some of his geek friends. As the three of them got out from the counter and to find a seat, they went pass by Stinky, Sid and Harold, who were monitoring Robert and Rhonda's conversation, also coincidentally that their names began with an 'R'. They could hear the conversation, not very well, but it certainly made Helga twitched her eye.

"I told y'all Rhonda's are better." Stinky said to all of them, as Sid and Harold nodded approvingly. Gerald came forth to them upon entering the cafeteria, and also did Iggy. He had a spiky hair, wore a dark purplish shirt with 'Huh?' written on it with a baggy pants to match with it. They sat with them and followed their conversation as they took their seats. After a couple of pet names being thrown at Robert, Rhonda hugged him and finally left him to meet Nadine outside the cafeteria. The guys at the table, who never dance whenever they were able, called him lovingly as a joke to mimic Rhonda from their seats. It was very obnoxious if they kept doing that for a longer time.

"Hey Robbie honey, right here!" Sid called, waving at him.

"Woohoo! Robbie baby, over here!" Iggy called him.

They enjoyed themselves although they acted like immature bunch of obnoxious people. With his face reddened from embarrassment, he went over to the counter to take his meal. Suddenly, someone steeped forth and blocked his path.

"Hello Robert." Curly said threateningly, while pushing his red glasses up. His hair was messy, his shirt wasn't buttoned properly, and his pants were… just pants.

"_Oh, man. Not again." _He thought, sighing. "What is it now, Curly?"

Gerald saw the confrontation, and alerted the people at his table. They all turned to them, anticipating for an aggression. Curly had become increasingly hostile to Robert ever since Rhonda had shown some interest to him, even though Robert never really wanted the attention.

"Should we stop him?" Harold asked them all.

"No. Not right now." Sid said affirmatively, motioning his hand to them to stand down, "we wait 'til he makes his move."

"So, I saw you with Rhonda just now. What were you two talking about?" Curly asked him accusingly.

"Nothing, man. It's just a spontaneous, casual talk that friends usually have." Robert replied coolly, to ease the already tense situation.

"Liar." He replied angrily, "You're trying to manipulate her to hate me, aren't you?"

"If that's really what you think we were talking, then I really feel sorry for you. I really have nothing to do with her." Again, he replied back nonchalantly, trying to avoid a confrontation. He then tried to walk away from him, but Curly quickly shoved his hand to his chest to block him.

"HEY, I'M TALKING WITH YOU HERE!" Curly shouted at him.

"Is that the signal?" Stinky asked Sid.

"Definitely." He replied back as he glared at Curly. And with that, everybody got up from their seats and went over there to confront and trying to intervene them.

"Is there a problem here, _Curly?_" Sid asked him as he glared at him.

Curly stared at Sid in defiance, and slowly he lifted his arm off Robert. Intimidated by the sheer numbers, he coolly stated to them, "Nah, no problems here. Non at all."

"Really?" Sid asked back, "Because I just saw you put your hand on Robert."

"Just checking for lice, that's all." Curly answered back. He wouldn't dare to have a fight with Sid since he had built quite the reputation.

"All right. Are we cool here?"

"Cool. Just cool." Curly gave them a glare, squeezed himself through the crowd, and left the cafeteria. After a moment, they all turned to Robert and asked him whether he was okay.

"You're okay, man?" Gerald asked him.

"Yeah, thanks for the concern. Really guys, I can handle him myself." He said back to assure them.

"Yeah, just like you handle Rhonda!" Sid replied to all of them, snickered a bit, and they suddenly burst into laughter. At a different table, Helga, Phoebe and Park who were observing them, were actually amazed with Sid that he actually lookout for his friends and how well did Robert confront a maniacal psychopath with calmness and without having resort to violence.

"Curly's freaking nuts." Park said to the two ladies. "Kinda feel sorry for the guy, though."

"Well, what do you expect from someone who went into a psychiatric ward, twice?" Helga replied back.

"Got treated? Be better? Not gone insane?"

**VI**

It was after school, and Helga walked alone to the bus stop, as a group of freshmen were walking pass her, shouting, hollering, talking loudly, and just being plain obnoxious.

"Stupid freshmen ain't respecting nothin'…" she muttered under her breath angrily. In her mind, she had this maniacal urge to possess a rocket launcher and shoot at the group of freshmen. That would be the sweetest thing ever. But, she hadn't have the to money to purchase such thing, so she just kept silent and continued her journey to the bus stop, where Sid was waiting for someone and the bus, as he listened to some music with his CD player. One thing that Helga liked about Sid that he shared the same taste in music with her. Helga could distinctively hear the loud music coming from the headphone. She recognized that song. She waited for the music to finish, and asked him:

"Back to School?" she asked Sid about the song title.

"Yep." Sid replied it short.

"How appropriate." Helga replied back. "Got any other albums?"

Sid pressed pause on his CD player and replied back, "I have _Around the Fur_ with me right now."

"I'll give you back tomorrow."

Sid nodded, went over his bag and rummage through it to find the CD. He found it and gave it to Helga. "I don't want to see a single scratch on that thing, you hear?"

"Jeez, who do you think I am, ten?" Helga shook her head as she put the CD back into her bag. Stinky came into the scene, and tapped Sid's shoulder and beamed at him. They then resumed their conversation that they were having since last morning in the bus and later in the cafeteria. To be safe, they went further back from Helga, so she wouldn't eavesdrop on their conversation. But Helga could hear them, though not correctly, but still clear nonetheless.

"Blah, blah, blah… nice looking… blah, blah, blah… pretty sweet… blah, blah, blah… Helga doesn't have any…"

Helga snap-o-meter suddenly exploded, her eyes twitched, and shouted at them, "Crimeny, can't you two hormone propelled morons go one second without comparing our assets? Sheesh!" and so she walked away from them in complete annoyance of the perplexed looking Sid and Stinky.

"Now, what was that all about?" Stinky wondered as he scratched his head.

"How should I know talking about cell phones would offend her so much?" Sid shrugged.

"Heh, maybe it's her time of the month."

"Heheh. Yeah, you're probably right."

Helga went over to find a quaint place for her to relax after a very boring yet hectic day in school. She found a place at a stone bench being flanked by two large trees. She then lied down to unwind herself. Overall, not counting the scuffle that the guys had with Curly in the cafeteria which she thought was the highlight of the day, today was just as she was expected, was quite dull and boring. And she expected today would be similar to the rest of the days in her sophomore year. Yep, this was going to be her another average school year.

"Ha, ha! Helga!" came an obnoxious laughter that was a trademark of someone she knew very well. "Looks like you're going to walk home from school now!" Harold mocked and pointed at her from the moving bus. "Hey! Wait!" Helga quickly got up, and tried to run after the bus, but it got faster and faster leaving the poor girl behind.

"Ha, ha! Helga! You're so slow!" Harold mocked her again.

But alas Helga gotten more and more tired, and she had to stop. But before the bus turned to a corner, she shouted threateningly to Harold, "I swear I'll get you for this, you fat, bald annoying… jock wrestling person… Harold!" Which the replied was she got was an indistinct laughter from him, since he was far away. Oh how she would get medieval on his butt tomorrow morning… she could taste it. The idea of kicking a husky kid wearing a letterman jacket sounded so tantalizing to her. But first she had to get back home first. He turned around and saw Brainy, wheezing heavily in front of him. Yeah, he was dorky, and because of that Helga was quite frankly amused with him.

"Hey… Helga." He said as if Darth Vader was trying to flirt with her. "Want me to walk you home?"

"No." she replied in a Princess Leia kind of way, "I don't want to burden you, such handsome man you." She complimented jokingly at him.

He then fainted. Helga shrugged and left him lying on the floor. "Eh, he'll wake up eventually."

And to get to her home, she had to walk pass Mr. Simmons' house. His house was actually one of the nicest on the block, since he loves gardening and his lawn was very beautiful for Helga to admire at, or anyone else for that matter. As she walked pass by, watching the garden, Mr. Simmons walked out from his front door to check for his mail, and saw her. Mr. Simmons aged well, he kept some beard and had to wear glasses to remedy his rather poor eyesight. His fashion sense still hadn't changed, because Helga could recognized his clothes that he wore when she was back in good old PS 118.

"Hello Helga." Mr. Simmons greeted her. "The bus left you behind again?"

"I thought you already know by now, Mr. Simmons." Helga replied back. "If I'm in front of your house walking this at this time of hour—"

"Okay, okay. No need to be upset about it, I just want to have a conversation with my former student. Hey, wanna come in and have a cup of tea?"

"Thanks for the offer Mr. Simmons, but I really should be going home."

"Perhaps some other time then?"

"Yeah, sure." Helga replied back, smiling. Helga was impressed with her former teacher. Even though he no longer taught them, he would tried his best to help them out as best as he could. After watching Mr. Simmons got back into his house, she went off to her house, in hoping that despite all she had been through that day, her room would offer some comfort to her.

**VII**

_And there you have it football head, my crappy first day as a sophomore. Kinda dull and boring, isn't it? Yeah, that's just practically how I feel every time on the first day of the new school year. Even though I have a feeling that half of them write letters to you, I feel kinda obligated to tell you what are they doing right now. Sort of an opinion from my side of the view, if you will. So there you have it, Phoebe's still smart, Gerald is still cool, Sid, Stinky and Harold are still annoying in a good kind of way, Robert and Park are still the best of friends, so are Rhonda and Nadine, Curly is still insane, Eugene's a geek, and Sheena is weird as ever. _

_I think there are lots of other people that I haven't mentioned on the past few paragraphs. I have a feeling that you know, but I feel compelled to tell you anyway. Curse you for forcing me to write more. Peapod Kid, wait, nobody calls him that anymore, since he wanted everyone to call him PK, a hipper version of Peapod Kid. He, Rex and Lorenzowent to some very posh private school somewhere outside the city. Kinda makes you wonder why Rhonda ain't coming with them, don't you? Joey went to a military school, Gloria and Patty went to a different school than ours, but most of us keeps contact with them though. Is there anyone else I'm missing? Oh yeah. Lila. Miss ever so perfect Lila. Well, after middle school she got transferred to a Catholic school, but that's about it. Haven't heard from her since. Not that's a bad thing or anything, but why do I have a feeling that I won't see the last of her?_

_Well, that's about it. Nothing has changed. Sorta. I hope you enjoy reading this letter about me and stuffs I'm droning about our friends. Phoebe just called me and asked whether I wanted to watch a movie with her. And knowing her, it must be a good one. Well, go about your business, as I've already wasted your time. Sorry about that. 'Til then, later._

_With shotguns on both on my hands,  
__Helga._

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Good? Or bad? You're the one to review. If there's an error please point it out. Thanks for reading. The Mr. Simmons thing? Well, I just feel he has a role to play even after the kids are done with grade school. 


	2. Ep2:It's Not Just a Game, It's My Life!

_Preface: _After I finished writing this thing, I thought, "Man, this has got to be the longest fic I've ever done... over 6000 words!" Pointless milestone for sure, but whatever. I'm a gamer myself, have been playing it since I was four years old. I can't get enough of it. Originally I planned this story to be about Helga investigating why guys like games so much, but as the story grew bigger, the story sort of changed, and it's more about videogames in general. Then I thought, this is not a The Patakis fanfic, it's a freaking thesis about videogames! It felt like the characters were just added to make it believe to have a sense of story in it. Each of the scenes represents something, like the second scene is about online gaming, third scene about videogames and their effect in society and a female gamer's lament about their role in the industry, scene four about the history of videogames, and scene five about debate between old school, new school and the mainstream. I just want this story to have some substance in it. This is to all of you gamers out there!

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 2: It's Not Just a Game, It's My Life!

**I**

_Hello, individual with an oddly shaped head,_

_Bob took away my internet privileges for two weeks, but little that he knows that I know where he hides my laptop! Ha! I'm telling ya, parents nowadays are really crappy at hiding stuff. I found the laptop inside his closet, of all places. Can it be any more obvious? My sweet, sweet laptop, how I love thee… Uh, dad is at work now, and I'm speed typing this email as fast as I could before he gets home. Sorry for any spelling errors, if there's any. Speaking of computers, Eugene entered one of those online videogame tournaments last week. I think they call it Kuake Convention or something. Out of curiosity, I went there with Phoebe, just to see what the heck it was all about. From my understanding is that they were engaged in a chaotic death defying combat of doom by clicking buttons and mashing the keyboard. Weird, and you wanna know what's more weird?_

_WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER AND THEIR LOVE FOR VIDEOGAMES?_

"Helga!" Olga shouted from downstairs, "Daddy's coming back anytime soon! He's going to be mad at you when he finds out you're using the computer!" Helga's computer was a laptop that she received as a gift from Bob. It was a black colored Dull laptop circa late 2000, but was still decent enough to run most application. And due to the wonders of password protection, her desktop wallpaper was adorned with collage of pictures of Arnold that she edited in a photo imaging software. And because of existence of word processing software in her laptop, she wrote most of her poetries in it too and she even published it on the internet on a very popular fan fiction website! (Which cannot be divulged due to copyright reasons)

"So don't let him know I'm using it!" Helga shouted back, "C'mon, don't rat out on me Olga!"

"You know I can't lie to daddy… it doesn't feel right…" Helga heard her voice softly.

"Crimeny, you are _such_ a daddy's girl Olga!" she burst angrily, with her eyes twitching, "Arrgh, all right! I'll put it back just as soon as I'm done!"

_I really don't understand the appeal of these things. Why would you want to stare at a screen hours on end searching every nook and cranny for crappy stuff and beat the pulp of an innocent squirrel whenever they are near you? Why do you resort to violence even though it's not necessary? Why do you have to kill everything that moves? Why there are crates and boxes everywhere even in the middle of the nowhere? And why would someone leave them there? All these 'gaming' talk makes me want to tell you a story. Heh, gaming talk. I sound like Eugene now. Let me tell you about someone who had too much time on her hands and wanted to delve into this weird, mysterious world of videogaming. It started out like this:_

**II**

Silence. Complete silence. Dark. Not that dark since the whole room was illuminated by dim lights, the kind of light you saw in the theater before a movie was about to start. The room had about twenty computers in it, and six of them were designated exclusively for gaming. It was in this internet café, where Helga was using one of the non-gaming computers to do her research about some lame school project she was forced to do. She would've used her laptop, but Bob revoked her internet privileges because Helga neglected her studies and barely pass her recent test. Though she thought that she deserved it, but she felt the punishment was too harsh. She also considered of using Phoebe's computer, but she decided it was best not to disturb her best friend right now.

It was a day after Bob made that judgment, and Helga hadn't found where he hid her precioussssssssssssss laptop yet. Perhaps after this research, she would resume finding her laptop. Oh, apparently she had done her research. She picked her things up and went over to the counter and paid up. As she walked towards to the door, she saw Sid, wearing a large headphone, watching attentively on the monitor screen without blinking, playing some sort of a shooting game. The bloodbath. The carnage. The awesomeness. If he had paid attention in class just as much as he was doing right now, he grades would've been equal, or even better than Phoebe's, Helga had thought. A sudden mischievous thought erupted in her mind. She smirked at her own evil plans, and went over to Sid. She stood behind him. Sid was still oblivious to her presence.

"Sid, dood!"

No answer from Sid.

"Your 'little member' lives up to its name." she mocked.

Still no answer from him.

"Your mother was a hamster and your father was smelt of elderberries."

Yet again, no answer.

"Hi Sid! I'm Nadine and I'm naked!" she imitated Nadine's voice.

No answer. Definitive proof that he couldn't hear anything even if a hydrogen bomb exploded next to him and he still would be playing. Carefully, she put her hands on the seat's recliner as she wiggled her fingers. And quickly she pulled the chair away from the computer, startling Sid and made him lost control of his character in the game. His character then was gunned down by some other guy in the game.

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sid shouted loudly like Obi-Wan did in the Phantom Menace, which was quite annoying and stupid if you stopped to think about it. The shout made everyone in the café turned to them and looked at the noisy jerk that interrupted their afternoon leisure. Everybody glared at them. The manager wasn't pleased with this particular patron.

"One more outburst like that and you're out of here!" he said angrily, pointing at him. "You too, girly."

"What? Moi?" Helga placed a hand over her heart, "I don't even know this guy." She replied nonchalantly, as she pointed to Sid. "Besides, I am leaving."

The manager grumbled, and felt that it'd be futile if he continued to get angry at those people, since they were teenagers after all. He shook his head and brushed his anger off, and went back into his office. Helga just shrugged it off and looked back at Sid, bawling over his character's death.

"Oh… no… oh, say it ain't so… my 30 second killing spree record… _shattered_…" he said to himself in disbelief. "All because of _you_!" he pointed accusingly at Helga.

"So what? You're going to kill me now?" she replied back in defiance as she looked back at Sid with half of her eyebrows lowered.

"Ah, nah. Forget about it." he replied back. "I was just exaggerating, that's all." He then got back into the game, but not wearing the headphones back. He had hanged them on his neck.

"You sure made a lot of commotion just because of a silly little game." Helga replied back as she looked at the monitor. A 'You Acquired a BFG100K' message flashed in the middle of the screen. Sid then proceeded to kill everyone in his sight with his newly acquired weapon.

"Silly?" Sid said back, scoffing, "That's sacrilege, Helga. This is not a silly game. I'd die defending my honor playing this game."

"From the looks of it you sure have died a lot."

"Yeah, thanks to you! Arrgh, to the left!" he said softly, and he was gunned down by a rocket launcher. His character's remains were splattered into hundreds of pixelated chunks. "Look, Helga. I'm in a middle of something here. So why don't you go home and play with your dolls or something?"

"Wow Sid. Retorting back by using a tired stereotype? I'm impressed."

"I thought you girls like playing with your dollies." He replied back, smiling. "Off you go now."

"Bye-bye Siddie." Helga said in a sweet sarcastic tone, waving her fingers. "I wish you _die_ a lot in that game." She then walked off to exit the establishment that smelled sort of funny to her, leaving Sid to his leisure of killing polygonal people inside the game. Sid rolled his eyes, scoffed a bit and wore the headphones back again. Suddenly, a message that read 'You got capped in the head by Eujynx' flashed in the middle of the screen. Sid got killed again, brutally with a sniper rifle by that person.

"Curse you, Helga…"

**III**

"Single player game!"

"So you met Sid at the café, Helga? What on earth was he doing there?"

"Playing videogames for sure, Pheebs. I never really understand what the appeal of those things."

"Oni Mode!"

"Why don't you give it a chance? You won't like it if you won't play it."

"Select song!"

"Nah… I don't know Pheebs." Helga replied unsurely, "It looks like a big time waster if you'd ask me."

"Ready… GO!"

After the commotion at the internet café, Helga decided that she should go to Phoebe's house to unwind herself, and having a social visit, talking stuffs with her best friend and whatnot. They were both in Phoebe's room right now, with Helga lying on Phoebe's futon bed reading some women magazine, which she thought that Phoebe might borrowed it from her mother. Phoebe meanwhile, was on the other side of the room dancing her pants off to the tune of trippy dance music coming from her small television linking to a videogame console. She was on a rectangular plastic pad of some sort doing all sorts of crazy dance moves that mesmerized Helga when she looked at her. She also felt Phoebe looked sort of silly when she was dancing like that.

"Helga, videogame is a hobby." Phoebe said as she danced, "And like any other hobbies, videogames are what we do to spend our leisure time constructively."

"No Pheebs, I disagree." Helga objected, "Writing is constructive. Sports are constructive. Videogames are not. You don't gain anything from it. You only waste your time finding your way through a puzzle or searching for some insignificant thing in order to pass a level. And by doing that it'll take forever for you to stop playing."

"If you manage your time well, you will know when to stop."

"Yeah right." Helga scoffed, "I read in the papers that these things can really be addictive."

"That's why we have a thing that we call self-control, Helga." Phoebe replied as she did a handstand.

"They can people turn violent too."

"Goodness, Helga. You sound just like the mainstream media, blaming aimlessly without providing any credible evidences. That allegation of yours is completely parallel to that of the negligent parents who couldn't raise their children right and start to point their fingers to lay the blame on someone else. They thought that if videogames were violent, so automatically they assumed they were the ones who were responsible for making their children violent. Well, I for one, completely disagree with that statement. Let's take an example, shall we? Say, one of our peers, Gerald. Even though he played _Mortal Wombat_ since he was nine—"

"_Mortal Wombat_? Isn't that the overly violent and bloody videogame about anthropomorphic wombats beating each other senselessly?"

"Ah, you have heard of it," she said back as she jumped, "but you never see him go on a random fit of anger or violence. In fact, he's a complete opposite of the manners that _Mortal Wombat _portrays." She elaborated, "He's a gentle, kind and a very compassionate individual that I have the pleasure to be friends with."

"_Why must you always pick him as your example, Pheebs…" _she rolled her eyes, "Okay. That may be true, but what about the fact that they make you fat and unhealthy?"

"Well, what about this game I'm playing right now?" she counter replied as she did another handstand, "Studies show that playing _Prance Prance Evolution _over a certain period of time is equivalent to that of jogging or exercising on the Stairmaster. And videogames in general improves your hand eye coordination and encourages you to think logically."

"Is that the _only_ game you're playing?"

"It most certainly not!" she exclaimed as she jumped up and twisted her legs to perform a move, "I played lots of games, most notably Role-Playing, which also is my favorite game genre as of presently."

"Role-Playing? _Mazes and Monsters_? _Spell: The Congregation_? That stupid _The King Rules _game that Gerald used to play?" Helga named some role-playing games she knew from the top of her head.

"Oh please, I'm more into Japanese RPG such as _Star Sea_, _Fantasy Star_ and _Last Phantasy_ than those overly complicated American RPGs. And those last two you mentioned were card games. Someone may disagree with me saying that American RPG have more depth and substance in it, while it may be true, but it all boils down to one's taste. I prefer Japanese RPG since the storyline in general is more engaging and excellent, and the gameplay factor is more varied and diverse."

"You lost me at RPG. What the heck is that?"

"It's an abbreviation of the word Role-playing Game."

"Oh."

"Ninety-four percent!"

And Phoebe stopped dancing, as she looked at the television screen with a satisfied smile on her face. She was satisfied with her scores, the highest for today. She then stepped out from the dance pad and went over to her desk to quench her thirst, since she put a bottle of drinking water there. She then went over to Helga and sat on the floor in front of her. She was tired, since she played that game before Helga had came over to her place.

"How come you're the only girl I know who plays videogames, Phoebe?" Helga asked her as she twirled her index finger to ask Phoebe to turn around.

Feeling relaxed as Helga massaged her shoulders to fix her strained muscles after playing that game. Phoebe then replied to Helga's question, "What about your sister?"

"Nah, she only plays that one game called _The Seems_ or something. That doesn't count."

"Why not?" Phoebe asked back.

"That's the only game that she plays, except for solitaire. Besides, that game was a big phenomenon back then, next only to those weird _Poke-em Monsters _game. Everybody was playing it. Well, with the exception of me of course."

"I noticed."

"You know, when she first got that game, she played it for twelve hours non-stop. She even pulled an all nighter!" Helga chuckled. "Then on the next day, she looked like a zombie when she finally came out from her room. Eyes were all bloodshot, she looked very pale, and really, really weak. Scary stuff."

"Wow. I never knew your sister would be _that_ immersed into that game."

"Like I said, games can be addictive." Helga said back.

"And like I said earlier before, it is all about self-control." Phoebe replied back, smiling. Helga stopped massaging her, and Phoebe turned around.

"Heh. You haven't answered my question, Phoebe. Why do you geeks play videogames? What makes them so attractive?"

"Let me give you an informal yet simple answer Helga. It's obligatory for us geeks, if you're so inclined to label us that way, to play them. It somehow was hardwired into our genes."

"Even girl geeks too? So what're you saying that videogames are genderless then?" Helga asked back.

"Oh Helga. Enough with the stereotypes already. Men and women are equally presented in videogames."

"Uh, huh." Helga replied doubtingly.

"Okay, okay. Maybe on specific areas, women have yet to make strides on this particular male dominated field. There aren't any female specific games in the market, and if there is one, it's really obscure and underrated. We unfortunately are objectified in games. It disgusts me just the thought of it."

"Preach on, sister."

"Most games are targeted to the male demographic, so that's why you see most of the female characters wear really revealing clothes in order to satisfy the urges of the mostly male specific audience. And you know the opposite gender _really_ loves it."

"Kinda like Sid, isn't it?"

"Correct." Phoebe replied. "If only there were more female game developers out there, hopefully they would balance things out and make change for the better. I'm sorry to say that the industry lacks a female perspective. All of us really hate the way how they portray women usually as shallow, whiny, oblivious and often, an 'attention grabber', if you get my euphemism correctly. There is a need to have more strong female characters in videogames. Someone that we can relate to, attached to and identify with."

"Yes. And with more female game developers around, we would see more male characters in revealing outfits in the future." Helga said back jokingly.

"That'd be the day." And they both laughed and giggled. "But seriously though, I don't want to see us to go down to their level." Phoebe then continued, "Say Helga, they're organizing a gaming tournament this Saturday at the Convention Centre. Would you like to come along and join the frenzy?"

"They? Who's 'they'?"

"A game company called _eed Software_ is organizing it. Surely you have heard of it."

Helga fell silent, looking at her quizzically.

"The creators of _Doomed, Kuake_ and _Wolfstein 3D_?" Phoebe tried again. And again, only silence from Helga greeted her.

"Egad, then you really need to come with us this coming Saturday, Helga!" she exclaimed, "Hopefully it will ease you into the exciting realm of videogames. And then you would see why we like it so much."

"Well, I suppose… considering that I have nothing to do this weekends. Yeah, what the heck, I'll come with you just to see what the fuss is all about."

"That's my girl." Phoebe beamed at her.

"Don't say that."

"Not saying." She chimed back.

"Wait a minute… did you just said 'us'?"

"Huh, when? Please refresh my memory, Helga."

"After you said 'egad'. When you invited me."

"Oh… that. Well, Eugene took part in that competition…"

"Eugene?" Helga said incredulously.

"Yeah, he had invited me and some of our male acquaintance to go there to show him our support."

"Oh…"

"So you're still going? Or you need more time to contemplate on this?"

"Nah, no need for that." Helga replied, "I'll go. Man, they're going to be surprised when they see me there."

**IV**

After a very lengthy dialogue centric scene, the story then changed its setting to a car driving down a highway, where inside of the said car sat a very familiar looking redheaded teenage boy next to his father, who was driving an average, everyday looking family sedan car imported from South Korea. At the back on the passenger's seat, there was some really cool looking computer desktop case that looked like it was custom made. It was colored in black that just screamed cool when you looked at it, made entirely out of Plexiglas, and both of its side was invisible so people could see how dedicated this person was maintaining his computer to become such way. Either that or he was just plain nuts. The teenage boy was sort of nervous, as he stared down to his feet sweating even though the air conditioner was at full blast. His father sensed something was wrong with his son, and perhaps with some fatherly talk, it would cool him down a bit.

"You must be very excited, Eugene." His father said. "I'm sure your three whole month's worth of practice will pay off eventually."

"I hope so." He replied back uncertainly. "I'm not sure dad, surely there are lots of people there who are better than me. I don't think that I'm—"

"Whatever you do Eugene, you do your best." His dad gave a clichéd, yet good fatherly advise, "But… then again, could you at least win something so you can prove to your mother that entering this competition is actually worthwhile?" and they both laughed softly.

"I'll try dad. And thanks for supporting me."

"My pleasure, son," Eugene's dad said back, "You know, I used to love videogames too. But back then, it wasn't as complicated as today's."

"Yeah, I know." Eugene chuckled, "You were there during the _Pong_ mania, dad. You belong to the generation of pioneers. It was the period when videogames just started."

"I loved videogames so much, that one day, with some help from my friends we programmed a game written entirely in BASIC."

"Whoa, really? Awesome, that is so old school! You never told me that before."

"Yeah, we were just a bunch of poor college kids back then, so we sent our game to Pineapple in hoping that they'll give us a job there. But unfortunately they rejected it flat since games weren't their concern during that time."

"Man dad… that's terrible."

"Ah, don't be. I got my dream job as a software engineer at NURV because of them. And I met your mother at that place too."

Eugene just chuckled at his father's very warm and lovable story.

"Who knows, you might meet your dream girl at that Convention today."

"I highly doubt it dad. I highly doubt it." He replied back, smiling. In his mind, there was only one girl for her, and that girl was Sheena. It seemed that the fatherly conversation with his son worked. Eugene's father just smiled to know that his son was significantly calmer than he was before.

**V**

"You know nothing about videogames." Gerald said to Robert, "If it weren't for Sonick, Celda, Fabio and Negaman the videogame industry wouldn't be as huge as it is today. Don't you remember the time where Mintendo and Zega tried to outdo each other, creating creative, fun and memorable games that even now people are still playing with it? Modern games don't hold a candle against the classics, man. Sure they're flashy and all but they don't offer the same replay value or fun as much as the classics. I mean, hey, I beat _Steel Cog Solid_ three times and I had enough of it, but I've been playing _Sonick and Nuckles_ hundred of times now and I still can't get enough of it."

"That's your nostalgia talk, Gerald." Robert retorted back, "Modern games can be as equally fun as the classics. Let's take from your example, _Steel Cog Solid_. The game to me is extremely engaging and has loads of fun. While I do admit the longlivity is questionable, but with the exciting plot, memorable voice acting and dialogue plus with the awesome gameplay makes it worthwhile. And don't get me started on games like _Seanmue_ and _Calamari Damasee_ too."

"With the exception of _Steel Cog Solid_, you guys are playing really stupid games." Sid interjected, "Who the heck play those games anyway?" The comment irked Gerald and Robert a lot.

"You are the representation of everything that is wrong with gaming these days." Robert said accusingly.

"Mainstream gamers…" Gerald scoffed, "It's because of you guys evil companies like Electronical Arts managed to survive and able to churn out some stupid sports game every year without any innovations at all and producing really stupid games like _Urge for Speed_ because the mainstream crowd likes it while the real innovative companies got chewed by them, and turn their lovable franchises like _Control and Triumph _into crap."

"You're probably one of those people who think that _Tony Hawke_ is the epitome of gaming, _Haylo_ is the best console game ever since sliced bread and _Brutal Car Hijacker_ is the coolest thing ever." Robert added.

"Ah, you guys are such elitist!" Sid scoffed back, "If it wasn't for us 'mainstream' gamers, the industry would've been dead by now. The game industry wouldn't able to survive or became a multi-billion business if it wasn't for us!"

The three guys were at the main lobby of the convention center, waiting for Eugene to arrive. The lobby itself was full of activities, as people came in and out into the building, queuing up to register their name and their computer at some counters not far from the guys, saw people, who like them, was waiting for someone, or just loitering in the lobby hall. Bored of watching the crowd inside the lobby and being shunned by his elitist peers, Sid then turned his head to gaze at the view outside the convention center. It was dull, to put it mildly. There were rows of car parks outside, almost nearly full. Sid could see people in their cars, people who just got out from their cars, people who were walking to the convention center, people who were walking from the convention center and people who looked just like his friends Phoebe and Helga. He suddenly snapped out from his boredom. Using the back of his right hand, he smacked Robert on some random part of his body to alert him the presence of the girls. Little that he knew, it accidentally hit Robert's little buddy. While the blow wasn't that hard, it certainly hurt him.

"Could you at least _please_ have some courtesy to pick some other place on my body to smack me?" he replied angrily.

"Sorry, man." Sid replied nonchalantly. "Look who's here." He pointed to outside.

Gerald took a look, squinting his eyes, "Yeah, so? Eugene did invite Phoebe to… holy crap, what is she doing here?"

"Helga?" Robert said incredulously. "Well, this is new." He chuckled.

"You think Pheebs asked her to come along?" Sid asked.

"Maybe. What else she'd be doing here?" Gerald replied back, shrugging. A few moments later, the girls finally walked into the convention center and went over to them after noticing them at the entrance. They raised their hands to greet and began a conversation with the guys.

"Why? Are you boys startled, shocked, in incredulous disbelief of seeing me on this particular day and on this particular place?" Helga asked them snidely, crossing her arms together.

"To be honest with you, yeah," Robert replied. "I don't think you're the kind of person that would be interested in this kind of things."

"And you are correct sir. I am not interested. Phoebe dragged me along." She pointed to her.

"Actually, her presence here is just to observe the appeal of videogames and the obsession that surrounds it. And I must state that I did not drag her along, she wanted to come here on her own will." Phoebe elaborated.

"What she said." Helga replied.

"Okay, suit yourself." Gerald shrugged.

"So where's the Über dork himself?" Helga asked, "Isn't he supposed to be here by now?"

"He's not here yet." Sid replied. "He probably got caught in a traffic jam or something."

"No I'm not." Somebody said behind them, and quickly everybody turned around, "Dad and I couldn't find a parking space."

"Hey, you're here." Gerald exclaimed. "Good to see you, man. I thought you chickened out or something."

"Have you registered your name yet, Eugene?" Phoebe asked.

"Yes I have, Phoebe. Check out this cool tag that they gave to me." He then took the white colored tag out from his pocket and gave it to Robert as the gang came closer to him to observe it. The tag had Eugene's face on the center, sort of dorky if you gazed at his face long enough, his participant's ID number and the word 'CONTESTANT' written in caps and in bolded words. His full name and his internet handle – Eujynx, was written on top of the driver's license sized picture. Robert then gave it back to Eugene and asked:

"You're ready for this?"

"Yeah," he replied optimistically. "Besides, I'm wearing my lucky shirt right now, there's no way I'm ever going to jinx this thing up!" his shirt would be considered awesome by geeks and nerds, but stupid and idiotic by others. His shirt was a white colored shirt with a large skull wearing glasses in front of the shirt with the word 'NERDCORE' written below the skull. At the back of the shirt, was a mantra for any experienced or veteran gamers, which was Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.

"_Don't say anything… don't say anything…" _Helga repeated those words again and again in her mind so she wouldn't spew torrents of insults and mocks at him, even though she really, really, really wanted to. The other guys just blinked at the shirt but Phoebe seemed to be awed by it.

"Yeah…" Robert responded slowly. "Anyway, good luck with the competition man. We'll be rooting for you."

"Same here," Gerald said.

"Me too," Sid said.

"I wish a resounding victory for you, Eugene." Phoebe said.

"Godspeed, you creepy little geek," Helga teased, but in an encouragement tone nonetheless.

"Thanks guys. Well, I'm off to the competition arena now. I'm on Server Seven, Deathmatch game. My handle is Eujynx." And he departed. After a couple of steps, he accidentally tripped on himself and fell to the floor. He got up, brushed his shirt off, turned around to them and said, "I'm okay…" as he give them a thumbs up with an embarrassed grin. He then resumed his journey.

"Ten bucks say he's going to screw up." Sid said to his friends.

"You're on." Everybody said in chorus.

As he walked through the crowd to the main competition arena, he hummed a song that still held dearly in his heart, _'Keep Your Sunny Side up' _which was a song from his grade school play years ago. He always hummed, or sang that song whenever he was nervous, or afraid to keep himself calm. The arena was a hall with personal computers filling the place, almost nearly full. Most of the people inside were contestants, making last minute check ups on their computer. Eugene went to his designated place, but to his surprise, his old friend from PS, 118, Lorenzo was assigned a seat next to him.

"Lorenzo?" he said. Lorenzo got up from the floor and looked at him. After analyzing the face who called his name, he finally recognized him, "Eugene? Eugene Horowitz from PS 118?" he said with a soft smile, in disbelief.

"Oh my goodness, it _is _you!" Eugene exclaimed happily and both of them shook their hands together.

"So you're a contestant, huh? Imagine that. Haven't seen you in a while. How are you doing?"

"Being a geek, as usual." He replied nonchalantly. "Man, and I thought guys from private schools would never enter this kind of competition."

"Hey, don't generalize us man. We sometimes do have to answer our geek tendencies as well. Hey, can we talk later after the competition? I really need to make some checks on my rig."

"Yeah, sure. May the best man win."

"Yeah. May the best man win." Lorenzo replied back, shaking his hand once again. What an incredible display of sportsmanship, they both thought.

**VI**

"Wow… this is boring." Helga said as she and the gang watched a large screen showing the current Deathmatch game in Server Six. The screen will change servers, all nine of them, every five minutes. On the screen, various information were shown, such as who was the person with the highest kill, or frag, as they would call it here, how many deaths, what kind of weapons they were using right now, and the rate of bandwidth, which was unnecessary since they were playing on a Local Area Network. The screen then changed to Server Seven, and to the gang's delight, Eugene had the highest frag score in the server. Thanks to all the training he had with Sid and his gaming friends.

The gang was sitting in the middle of a large hall, where it was the only place where spectators went to see their friends, spouses or siblings playing the game. There were no chairs on that hall, so the spectators had to either sat on the floor, or stood watching the large screen in front of them. Most of the spectators preferred to seat, but there were some who stood watching while leaning against the wall.

In awe with Eugene's score, Sid said, "Man, Eugene sure is kicking—"

"Hey kids." Some old person greeted them.

"Oh, hi Mr. Horowitz," Gerald greeted Eugene's dad. "How are you?"

"Fine, I'm just fine. So… how's Eugene doing?"

"He's doing quite marvelously sir, if I may so myself." Phoebe replied. "See it for yourself. His name is Eujynx." She pointed to the large screen. A proud smile was seen developed on his face. "That's my boy." He said proudly. "How many minutes are there left in the competition?"

"There are four rounds players have to go through before the finals. Bottom five is eliminated on every round." Robert explained to him, "Each round is given twenty minutes time and there's a ten minute intermission every time when a round ends. Right now Eugene is on the second round, and he's still going strong."

"You mean there's more than an hour left before the competition ends?" Helga exploded in anger, "That's it, I'm going to the concession stand to buy me a lunch. Anyone of you wanna come with me?"

None of the guys answered, except for Phoebe. "I'll go with you." She said.

"C'mon Pheebs, let's leave these boys and their _videogames_." She then trudged to the stand, while Phoebe and guys looked at her in disbelief.

"Since I'm coming along with her to the stand, would you gentlemen—"

"Phoebe, come on!"

"Coming!" she chimed back, and ran over to her.

"You know, that girl really have some issues to talk about…" Eugene's dad said to them.

"Nah, Mr.H. She's always like that." Sid said, and Gerald and Robert nodded in agreement.

**VII**

_Eugene won third place in that competition. Seriously, and Lorenzo ended up in seventh. Eugene won 7500 bucks in cash, a new laptop, and he got a part-time job as a game tester at that company who sponsored that event. Man, I officially hate him now, especially when I learned that he won that new laptop. I really need a new one to replace this beat up crap I'm using. We thought since he's a jinx and all, the highest he'd go was on the second round. Well, he maybe a jinx in a real world, but not on a virtual world. In that world, he kicks butt. Some people have all the luck. Or skills, whatever. Man, the chicks are going to swarm him after this. Ha, I crack myself up._

_But after that event, it seems that I'm beginning to like videogames. If you'd just ignore the bad rep that it's getting from the media, it can be a great hobby and an awesome time killer. Not to mention it develops good sportsmanship and might someday eventually will unite all mankind to the point where all of them share the same common interest and goals. What kind of substances am I on anyway? Hey, you play videogames, you should know about these things. I think I'm going to the local Electronics Shop tomorrow and buy whatever games that's hot on the market. I'd better get going Arnold. Bob's going to kill me if he knew that I'm using this. So go off and play your Counter-Struck or Soreal Tournament or whatever. Ta-ta._

_I think I'm going to put an extra 'L' in my name as my game handle,  
__Helga. _

Helga then reread the letter. "Meh." She highlighted all the words that she wrote, copied it, closed the web browser down, opened a word processor application, and pasted her letter on it. She then saved it by writing the today's date as the filename and saved it in a folder named 'Letters to Arnold'. Quickly she disconnected the internet line and switched the laptop off. With the laptop in her hands, she went into her parents room and over to the closet to put the laptop back under the pile of clothes. After putting everything back in order, she went over to the living room and saw Olga, watching television. She took a seat next to her and sat with her arms crossed and her legs on the coffee table.

"What are we watching?" Helga asked.

"A rerun of yesterday's 'The East Wing'." She replied back.

And there was silence as she and Olga watched the show quietly. Some ten minutes later, they could hear a car driving into the garage, and the engine stopped. That must be Bob, back from a 'hard' days work. As he went pass the living room, he saw Helga on the couch. He had a distrusted look on his face.

"You didn't use your computer or anything today, did you Helga?" he accused.

"No, Bob." She lied, and she sounded very convincing too, "I did not use the computer today." She replied as she watched the TV.

Bob scoffed back but didn't say anything. Still unconvinced, he went to his room and checked the laptop. _"The thing's still warm…"_

"HELGA!" he bellowed out loud, which translated as annoying as it could get to her ears. She then hung her head with her face resting over her open palms, sighing heavily. _"Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap…"_

"I told you, you should've put that thing back earlier…"

"Olga. Just shut it." Helga replied while her face was still in her hands.

* * *

Games satirized in this story: Quake III, Dance Dance Revolution, Mortal Kombat, Dungeons and Dragons, Magic: The Gathering, Star Ocean, Phantasy Star, Final Fantasy, The Sims, Pokemon, Doom, Quake, Wolfenstein 3D, Sonic, Zelda, Mario, Megaman, Metal Gear Solid, Sonic and Knuckles, Shenmue, Katamari Damacy, Need for Speed, Command and Conquer, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, Halo, Grand Theft Auto, Counter-Strike, and Unreal Tournament.  
Companies parodied: Dell, id Software, Apple, Microsoft, Nintendo, Sega, EA. 

As for me, I'm more of a PC gamer, and I think Half-Life the best game ever made. And there you have it, so many game references that it'd make any geek happy. Thanks for reading and please leave a review. And check my profile and suggest me to write which The Patakis fic that are available on it.


	3. Ep3: Brainy's Despair

_Author's Note: _Thought I'd never update this stuff, do you:) This actually is the hardest story I've ever written. I had to balance the humor and the darkness so it wouldn't betoo humorous or too dark. Yet it seems this is the most darkest story I've ever written so far. The characters are apain in the bottom as well as I was having a hard time trying to establish them in this chapter. Hopefully it doesn't sound rushed, or out of character. I have some fears on some scenes in this story since I feel it doesn't quite worked out. I don't know about you, but I hope to hear from you after you've done with it.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 3: Brainy's Despair

**I**

_Arnold,_

_Have you ever feel guilty, dejected and miserable when you have to tell someone that you can't return the love after that individual practically tells you every feelings, longing, and affection towards you? Worse still, that person harbored deep feelings about you, would die for you, and loves you just the way you are, and yet you turn down that person's sincerity? It's hard to imagine it, isn't it? Well, to be honest… I did that to someone today. I'm an emotional wreck right now, and my only remedy is to write to you, so I could pull mys_

Helga dropped her pen suddenly and started to sob. A tear slipped away from her eyes as she thought back of what she did to Brainy at the hospital when she visited him. The pain in her heart was aching so bad, that she finally cried out in sadness and misery. She let her feelings went by as she continued to cry and had her hands covered her face. Tears ran down from her eyes, rolled on the back of her hand and dropped on the letter she was writing. After much sobbing and tears, she wiped the tears away and resumed writing.

_elf together. All of his despair, anguish and misery were all because of me, even though I wanted to believe so hard that it wasn't my fault at all. I visited him today, and the doc said he's going to be all right in the next couple of days, so I shouldn't be worried about him… much. Still, as a friend, I will visit Brainy each and everyday until he is healed. Before all of this happened, it was an average day in school. I was on the bus when…_

**II**

"Stop the bus! STOP THE BUS!" Brainy shouted as he ran after the already departed city bus. It was chaotic as always in the beat up old vehicle, as high school kids from around the neighborhood were inside heading for school. The bus driver saw Brainy on the side mirror. He almost tripped on the cracks on the sidewalk but managed to balance himself back and continued chasing the bus. But the driver didn't do anything: he just laughed at Brainy's misfortune and continued to work the gas pedal as Sid, Stinky and Harold were at their usual misbehavior, asking him to drive on.

"Whatever you do Murray, don't stop for him!" Sid yelled as he laughed loudly.

"Man, you guys are such jerks!" Murray replied back, "But I love you guys, anyway!" he said happily.

"Ha ha!" laughed Harold as he stood on the bus' stairs and pointed at Brainy, "C'mon Brainy, you can do it!" he shouted mockingly at him, who were already on the brink of total exhaustion.

"Well I'll be danged…" Stinky said as he watched the side mirror with Brainy in it, "He's still runnin'! Faster Murray, faster!" but somewhere in the middle of the bus near a window seat, sat a blonde teenage girl who was totally annoyed by their immature, tasteless and idiotic idea of a joke.

"This is stupid…" Helga muttered angrily as she watched the monkeys in front of the bus, with one of her eyes twitching. Oh how she really wanted to give a piece of her mind to those idiots, laughing at other's misfortune. Didn't they know it was horrible to treat a person like Brainy in a manner like that?

Phoebe was familiar with the look that Helga was showing. It was her well-known angry, 'not taking any crap' look that she had whenever she was witnessing something completely idiotic, absurd or inane. "You should do something Helga…" Phoebe suggested, which Helga agreed completely with her. After cracking her knuckles, she stood up and walked over to the driver's seat. Murray, Sid, Stinky and Harold instantaneously stopped laughing when she reached near them. She had this scary, intimidating look on her face which none of the guys dared to fight back. After a long, awkward silence, and a nervous gulp, Murray asked her:

"Whaddaya want, lady?"

"Yeah. I want you to stop the bus, right here, right now. Don't you even know that the guy who's been chasing you for the last four blocks has asthma, for crimeny's sake?"

Somehow, deep inside his mind told him that he should retort back, "What if I don't?" bad move. Sid, Stinky and Harold winced. Hopefully Helga wouldn't do something radical or overwhelming at him. Helga on the other hand, smirked at him back. Murray thought he was dead, judging from Helga's smug look. Quickly, she grabbed Murray's prosthetic leg and snatched it out. He was shocked. Heck, everyone in the bus was shocked. There was no way that a prosthetic leg that was tied so tightly and was harness so firmly could be detached easily from the leg.

"How about if I beat you up with your own prosthetic leg and let others laugh at _your_ misfortune, you pathetic minimum-waged lowlife?" she threatened with a devilish scowl, tapping the leg on her right shoulder.

"B-But… but…" Murray stammered anxiously, "How can I stop the bus when you have my leg?"

"You have your other leg, don't you? Or should I rip it off too and do the work on my own?"

With a scared, frenetic nod, he hit the brakes and pulled over to the curb. Brainy was relieved. Huffing and panting, he walked over to the bus weakly with a weary motion, nearly collapsing. His breath suddenly became louder and more labored and he began to hyperventilate. He quickly rummaged through his backpack in search for his inhaler. Helga looked out of the door and felt sorry for him. She then jumped out from the bus with the prosthetic leg still with her and walked him in with her hands on his shoulders.

"You're okay there pal?" she said worriedly as she climbed the stairs up together with him. Brainy just gave her a soft nod as he continued to breathe on the inhaler. Inside the bus, all eyes were set on them. The bus driver, her friends, and even the strangers. Helga suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable at the given attention. Quickly she retorted, "Yeah, I'm helping the guy, so what? What about you people? Some friends you guys turn out to be." She scoffed and threw the leg back at Murray. Helga then gave him a seat and after a reassurance from him, she walked back to Phoebe. The bus drove on.

"That was very kind of you Helga." Phoebe said to her.

"Yeah…" Helga said as she gazed worriedly at Brainy some four seats in front of her. At a different part of the bus, some two seats behind Helga and Phoebe sat Sheena and Nadine, quizzical at Helga, who usually never gave a crap about someone else.

"Holy Guacamole, I've never seen such thing before." Sheena said in surprise. "Nadine, do you like, know something about them?"

"IIRC (If I recall correctly), it has something to do when we were in San Lorenzo. Remember when Arnold won that essay competition and the whole class got to go to that country?"

"Um… yeah, I think I remember. So… what about it?"

"I heard Brainy saved her life. That's why she's always being nice to him."

"Ah…"

"So anyway, are you looking forward to that new Tim Norton movie?"

**III**

The bell rang and students rushed out from their classes after a boring lecture from their respective teachers. Nadine was in one of the crowd. Thankfully it was lunch break and she desperately needed a rest and to clear her mind. Hastily she walked over to her locker and saw her locker neighbor, Sheena already unpacking her books. Nadine greeted, "Hey, girl." And Sheena replied back with a "hi." Sheena closed her locker up and waited for Nadine. As she waited, she asked her, "So how did Brainy saved Helga's life?"

"Girl, are you still thinking about that?" she asked back, rummaging through her locker, which had some books and a small picture of Sid in it, perfectly concealed.

"Can't help it. If you would've told me earlier in the bus, I wouldn't be thinking about it. And because of that I couldn't concentrate in my math class thanks to you." She accused good-naturedly.

"Glad I could be of service." She replied back, smiling. "Well, Phoebe told me that Helga was wandering alone in the forest, when all of the sudden she stepped in a quicksand. And no one was there to help her."

"Yikes."

"Yup." She said as she closed her locker, "Wanna go for lunch?"

"Sure." They then walked together to the cafeteria.

"Cool. So, anyway, she shouted for help and stuff and later Brainy came to her rescue by reaching her with a stick and pulled her out from the quicksand."

"Yay for her."

"It's good that she was safe and all, but I've always wondered whether the story has merits or otherwise."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, wasn't the whole rescue bit is kinda peculiar? Helga was completely alone, far away from the nearest people and was practically in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly Brainy of all people, came to her rescue? How did he know she was there? How did he find her so fast?"

"Maybe… he was stalking her or something."

"Eew, that's creepy." She stuck her tongue out a bit. "Nuh-uh. Totally impossible."

"Or Helga could just so happen to be lucky that day."

"Could be a plausible reason." She concurred with her as she opened the cafeteria double doors. They continued chatting as they went over to the counter with a tray on their hands. There was nothing special today, as it was your typical repulsive looking school cafeteria food - ham, jam, and spam a lot. After they got what they wanted, they looked around and saw Rhonda, as usual, waiting for Nadine. She waved at her, and Nadine smiled back. She and Sheena then went over to her and took a seat.

"Hey, I've been waiting for you like, forever. What took you so long?"

"Gee, I don't know…" Nadine shrugged, "Maybe it was because the line at the counter was too long, or maybe there were too many people in the hallway, or—"

"Okay, okay. I get the picture." Rhonda said back.

"How come you're not eating, Rhonda?" Sheena asked.

"Dieting." She said nonchalantly, which baffled Sheena since she was already in a good shape. "Hey, I heard Helga made a commotion in the bus this morning. What up with dat?" Rhonda asked.

"Harold, Sid and Stinky kinda made her angry because of what they did to Brainy." Nadine replied.

"Again?" she replied in shocked disbelief, "He really has to learn to stand up for himself, and not let anyone push him around for once. Doesn't he feel stupid that there's somebody else who does that for him? C'mon, its pride we're talking about here. Look, I'm not saying Brainy is a wuss and all," though she wanted to, "but as long as he doesn't stand up for himself, he's going get pushed around like that for a long, long time."

"The guys aren't that bad…" Nadine tried to defend them, which she asked herself why she should defend them, "I mean, they can be obnoxious and annoying at times, but that's just what guys do, you know…" then there was awkward silence as both Rhonda and Sheena gave her quizzical look with a lifting eyebrow. Nadine was speechless at the sight, "Okay, I take it all back. They are all morons." Nadine said with a defeated tone.

"Speak of the devil…" Rhonda said as she gazed at Brainy at the counter. Brainy was fidgeting and was in unease with himself as he looked around in searching for a seat. In the cafeteria, everybody and everyone was hanging out with their cliques and friends, enjoying the food and the free time period. He saw his friends, but he chose not to hang out with them. He saw an empty table, and went over to it.

"He's coming. Quick, act natural!" Rhonda scrambled them nervously. As Brainy walked by them, Rhonda, in her Golden Globe-winning role as a stereotypical rich high school valley girl, blabbered unintelligently to her peers, who nodded indiscriminately. "So, like I was, like, there was something, and like, like, like omigosh…" was heard by Brainy as he went by pass them. He like, always wanted to know like, why girls like to put 'like' in every, like sentence as a, like, filler. It was like, abnormal, unnecessary and annoying. GOD WHY!

He sat at the table, alone and forlorn-looking. The girls stopped their act and looked at him, with a sympathy grown in their hearts.

"Poor guy…" Sheena said with a sad tone.

"You think we should invite him over?" Nadine asked.

"NO FRIKKEN' WAY!" Rhonda furiously opposed. She then realized what she just said, so she gasped and on instinct placed her hand over her mouth. Nadine and Sheena looked at her with their narrowed eyes and homicidal gaze. Rhonda tried to calm them down, "I-I I mean, we just don't have enough seats… heh, heh-heh…" she laughed nervously. Suddenly another face appeared at the door and it was the well known pair of friends, Helga and Phoebe. Helga looked around the cafeteria and saw Brainy. She asked for Phoebe to go to the counter first, and after she departed, Helga proceeded to walk over to Brainy. Phoebe wanted to anyway since she saw Gerald at the back of the queue.

"Brainy? How come you're eating alone?" Helga asked as she took a seat in front of him.

"Uh… No I'm not." He replied back. "I'm waiting for you."

The answer aggravated Helga, "Argh, for the love of…" she snapped. Her hands were visibly shaken with anger. Her eye twitched. She was getting weary of him being nice to her, she didn't know why but she just did. But her she kept her cool and said back, "Look Brainy," she tried to construct a sentence that wouldn't hurt him much, "I appreciate what you're doing, but don't you have friends to have lunch with? This means nothing, you know."

"Uh, after that stunt on the bus? I don't think so." He scoffed back.

Helga sighed. He had a point. "Still, they are your friends, for better or for worse. You want to know why they are always picking on you and give you a bad time? It's because _you_ don't stand up for yourself."

Brainy scoffed at her words. He knew it was true, but he denied it greatly. "That's not true."

"Whatever floats your boat, Brainy." She said with a disappointed tone after she shook her head, "Listen, I can't have lunch with you today, I just can't. Phoebe is waiting for me at another table and I have something important to discuss with her. If you don't want to look like a lose—," she retracted the word back, feeling the word 'loser' was too strong a word to describe him, "—to be alone, I suggest you to mingle. Eugene is at that table over there and if you wanna hangout with girls, you can start at the Princess' table who has been INEXPLICABLY RUDE ENOUGH TO EAVESDROP ON US!" she shouted at the table next to her. Rhonda, Nadine and Sheena quickly darted back and innocently acting as if they were talking amongst themselves, as if nothing happened.

Helga then abruptly left the table and left Brainy alone by himself. She didn't look back. The three girls looked at him with pity as he forlornly ate his lunch. He felt dejected and wistful.

**IV**

School was finally over for the day. Phoebe and Helga walked over to the bus stop and saw Brainy again, alone. Helga sighed in great exasperation and shook her head.

"Phoebe, let's just wait for the bus right here." She said to her best friend, as she stopped at her tracks.

"What? How come?"

Helga shook her head and glared at Brainy, still unaware that they were there. He was close enough to see them, but not close enough for him to identify them.

Phoebe frowned at her friend, "You know Helga, Brainy is a good person and has a big heart. I do not understand why you want to stay away from him."

"Phoebe…" she sighed, "you just wouldn't understand. It's not like I hate him and all, but he's taking this way too seriously. The only reason why I'm being nice and help him out so much is because I feel sorry for him. He just… doesn't stand up for himself."

"Or maybe you still feel indebted to him since he saved you from that quicksand a few years back?"

Helga went silent at Phoebe's remark. As much as she wanted to disagree with her, it was the very truth. "That's all is in the past, Phoebe. It has nothing to do with it." she retort back unsurely.

"Don't you realize that because of your showing of gratitude makes him believe that you, in a way are attracted to him?"

"I don't!" she yelled back, "I help him just because he's too pathetic to help himself!" she shouted angrily.

"Or you just care so much about him." Phoebe replied coolly.

Helga was startled. She didn't know how to answer her back. She had come to a realization that it was, in fact, the undeniable truth. She cared deeply about him. She just stared back in defeat at her friend.

"I feel bad for suggesting this, but if you really don't harbor any feelings for him, then I propose you should tell him vis-à-vis that you can't return his love." Phoebe proposed.

"But I can't… If I told him, it'll crush—"

"Sometimes you have to tell the truth, even if it hurts."

Suddenly, they could hear a loud chatter coming from behind them. It was Stinky, Sid and Harold, talking loudly amongst themselves as they too walked over to the bus stop. Sid noticed Brainy over yonder, and chuckled a bit. He pointed at him to his friends, discussed something, and a devious smile was shown on their faces. Helga didn't like the look of it as she kept a watchful eye on them. The guys walked up to Brainy and startled him a bit as Sid landed his hand on his shoulder. He wrapped his hand around it and said:

"Dude, calm down. We're not going to hurt you." He said coolly. But Brainy felt there will be something maleficent afoot that'd happen to him. "We're just wanna say that, we're just sorry for what we did to you this morning."

Brainy was wary of their deceit. They wouldn't be that fast as to apologize to someone as himself. "Uh, huh…" he replied cautiously.

"Yeah, it was very childish of us for doing such a thing like that." Harold said.

"You're dang right." Stinky concurred, "you knoe we ain't kinda fellers who'd give ya'll a bad day. It's just in the name of fun."

Brainy scoffed. Making him nearly drop unconscious was their idea of fun? He was becoming more and more annoyed at their presence. He wanted them to leave him alone. But unfortunately, he didn't have the guts to say it.

"Look, we'll make it up to you." Sid said, "If you ever in need of help, just ask us man. Why do you need a chick to do that for you?" he said mockingly, referring to Helga. Brainy was infuriated by his remark.

"I mean, if you're in trouble, like this:" Sid shoved him out to the street, "and we'll save you!" he yanked him back to the curb. Stinky and Harold started to chuckle. "See, it's not that bad." He shoved him again, and Brainy was nearly hit by a speeding car, but Sid managed to yank him back in the nick of time. "You crazy kids!" the driver shouted at them.

"That's a close call there." Harold laughed nervously. Helga was mad. She glared angrily at them with her eye twitching. "That's it. I've had it." she said irately through her clenched teeth. Stinky tapped his best friend's shoulder and motioned his head to show him the incoming Helga. "Let's get outta here before she kills us."

"So uh, Brainy. Hope you'll consider our help." Sid said with a winning smile. And with that they departed as they laughed out loud, crossing the street.

"Idiots!" Helga shouted at them. "What the heck is wrong with you jerks?" she yelled angrily.

"Hey, we apologized to him, Helga!" Sid said back nonchalantly, lowering his head and stretching his arms wide. "What? It ain't good enough for your pansy 'boyfriend'?" and they burst into a fit of laughter.

Enough was enough. Helga should've done beating the crap out of them a long time ago. In rage, she crossed the street as the guys nervously began to flee. Unknown to Helga, there was a speeding small truck coming towards her…

Stinky saw the truck. Though he knew that Helga would decapitate his head after this, but a life must be saved first. Alarmingly he shouted, "Helga! LOOK OUT!" he pointed to the speeding truck. Helga stopped at her tracks and looked down the street. Her eyes widened in horror. She was too shocked to move away. The truck was coming ever closer to her. Phoebe quickly sprinted to help her friend. Though she knew it was futile, she hoped that she could make it in time. Sid and Harold were helpless. This might be the end for Helga. Suddenly she felt her body got hit and was flung away violently. It hurt her a lot. Her head was spinning. Her eyes closed down.

"Helga! Helga! You're okay?" someone shouted concernedly. She slowly opened her eyes, and saw Sid, Stinky and Harold, and a few moments later Phoebe came into her view. She tried to get up, and she could, though it painful a bit. Her hands were visibly shaken as she tried to get up. "C'mon let's help her up." Phoebe said, as Harold helped her out. Sid and Stinky was gone. Helga then realized that she was safe and sound by the curb. But… if she was not the one who got hit by the truck, then who…

A cold wave of fright suddenly swept all across Helga's body. She feared the worst. She did not want it to happen to him. She quickly turned around, and saw Sid and Stinky and some other guy in the middle of the road, looking at something, or someone, and they obscured her view. But it wasn't long when Sid stepped to the side, and she saw the worst sight in the world. Brainy lied motionless in the middle of the street, with his nose bleeding and made a small pool in front of his face, his left arm was twisted in the most horrid of ways, and his glasses thrown out from his eyes, shattered into pieces. She couldn't bear to watch him in a state like that. Her eyes began to brim with tears, her heart was racing hard, and worse still, everything in her mind said that he was dead. She couldn't believe it. She put her trembling fingers on her face, began to wail and cried out "No!" repeatedly. Phoebe quickly came to comfort her as Harold quickly ran to the ever growing crowd, circling him.

"He's still alive!" somebody shouted after she checked the pulse on his neck. Helga was _absolutely_ relieved to hear that. "Somebody call 911, quick!"

**V**

_Three days later…_

The bus stopped at one of its destination, and a passenger climbed in and showed the driver his bus pass. The driver nodded and drove on. The passenger then sighed in relief that he caught the bus in time, or he could be late for school. Although it wouldn't matter much since he hated school. He saw a few of his female friends in the middle of the bus, chatting with themselves. He had hoped he wouldn't see that blonde girl today because he knew that she'll ask him how Brainy was doing, which subject he really wanted to avoid. But it was inevitable. He took a deep breath, and walked over to them.

"How is he?" Sheena asked concernedly. He sighed in agony.

"He woke up from his coma yesterday, thankfully." Sid said reluctantly yet in relief as he took a seat next her. He, Stinky and Harold had already visited him in the hospital to sincerely ask him for forgiveness. "Man, his parents were so relieved. The doc said it was a miracle, since there's no permanent injury inflicted. But there's a bit of head trauma, minor internal bleeding, broken ribs—"

"Stop it. Just stop it…" Helga pleaded brokenly. She couldn't bear to listen to Brainy's suffering any longer. Phoebe quickly came up to her and offered comfort. Taken by the sight, which was a very rare sight, Nadine looked at her with a distraught look. A tear ran down from her eye when she blinked. So did Sheena. Sid looked away and held back his tears. Sniffed, and had wiping her tear away, morosely Nadine said, "We should visit him after school. It's what we can do right now to show to him that we are concerned about him. What do you say?"

They all nodded. Helga was the most eager of them all.

"_Man, I was so stupid…" _Sid closed his eyes tightly and banged the window in frustration.

**VI**

It was after school, and Helga decided that she should go visit him alone. They all agreed during lunch hour that they'd visit Brainy an hour after school. But Helga thought different, and felt that she should see him alone, since she believed it would be more meaningful if she was there all by herself with him. As she walked along the sidewalk, drifting in her own thoughts, she saw Mr. Simmons coming towards her. "Hey Mr. Simmons." She greeted and stopped.

"Good afternoon Helga. Did you miss the bus again?"

"No… I'm on my way to visit someone at the hospital." Mr. Simmons knew what his former student was talking about.

"Brainy, huh?" he guessed.

She was startled, "How… how'd you know?"

"Gerald told me yesterday when I was out grocery shopping, so I thought I'd pay him a visit today. Just came back from the hospital." He pointed his thumb to the back.

"Is he all right?" she asked concernedly.

"Wonderful, Helga. It's nice to know that you care about your friends. Don't worry, he'll be fine. Although he has to stay in the hospital for several weeks to run a few physical checkups and another operation, but other than that, he's in excellent shape." The word 'excellent' was used because Mr. Simmons didn't want Helga to worry much.

"Did he… mention anyone while you were there?"

"Well, he did say he wanted to see you as soon as possible. He seems eager… I think it is a brave thing he did, saving your life."

"_Oh, man…" _Helga thought depressively, as rubbed her forehead and stroked her hair back in disbelief. "Yeah, he's very brave for doing that… and I should thank him."

"You should, Helga. It would be heartless and cruel if you'd just ignore him like that." Mr. Simmons remark added more guilt into Helga. She had planned to tell him what Phoebe suggested to her the other day, but right now she couldn't even make a decision due to it. It just wasn't the right time for it. Still, she needed an advice. She needed guidance.

"Mr. Simmons… hypothetically speaking, if I were to tell him something bad in the state he was in right now, would it be… wrong?"

Mr. Simmons contemplated a while on the subject, stroking his beard, "Is it, really bad?"

"As bad as you can imagine it." She replied back sullenly.

He sighed, "I take it it's a personal affair between you and him," he guessed uncertainly, since he had a feeling there was something between them that he noticed during their grade school days and during the San Lorenzo trip, which somewhat surprised him also that they still hadn't gotten over with it. "Well… in my personal opinion, you shouldn't hesitate on this… and be honest, since it involves a delicate issue between you two. Nevertheless, please don't be too hard on him. Tell him that you still care about him."

Though she didn't quite share the view with him, she had to agree with her former teacher. Procrastinate would only make matters worse. "Thank you for your advice, Mr. Simmons."

**VII**

The long walk through the hospital's hallway frustrated Helga since it made her feel like it was going on forever. Still it was good though as it gave her time to think. Hopefully Brainy was in good spirits and would be glad to see her. Yet somehow, she knew that deep down inside him he was miserable because she was the one put him into all the pain he was suffering. And to her realization, yet she denied greatly about it, the emotional feeling that Brainy had right now shares, and parallels with her feelings about Arnold. _"We're in this together, aren't we?" _she asked herself.

She knocked the door softly as she nervously waited for an answer. The receptionist at the lobby had told her this was his ward room be at, on the third floor, west wing in room #312.

"Uh… come in." an indistinct voice said. With a deep, long breath, she opened the door and saw Brainy, smiling. His enthusiasm would rival that of Eugene's. Still, his cheerful smile wouldn't compensate his physical condition, which broke her heart just by looking at him. Casts were on his right leg and left arm. Bandages were wrapped around his chest and his head, and some obscure reddish color could be seen on the bandage of his head. And it seemed he had acquired a new pair of glasses. Nearly on edge of tears, she slowly walked to him and took a seat next to his bed.

"How… how are you doing?" she asked.

"Uh… Never been better." He replied optimistically. "The doc was kinda surprised that I'm recovering better than they expected."

"That's great…"

"Yeah, it's really great." Then there was momentary silence between them.

"Were there anyone else besides me who visited you?" Helga asked again.

"Well it's the usual bunch. My family," he shrugged a bit, "Mr. Simmons, and surprisingly, Sid, Stinky and Harold."

"Them?" she said, as though she didn't know they were there yesterday, "What did those idiots do to you?"

"They… apologized." He replied in a calm shock-ish like, "And uh… very sincerely I may add. I guess they really regretted of pushing me around this time." He chuckled a bit, "Hard to believe, isn't it?"

"Yeah… it's hard to believe…" she replied uncertainly. She really didn't know when she'd going to tell him, "Look Brainy, I'm sorry…"

"Uh… Sorry for what?" he replied back, looking at her in a quizzical gaze.

"I'm sorry for…" she was too scared to tell him the truth, so she tried to divert the thought away, "…that I didn't bring you anything…"

"No, no…" he grabbed her hands, Helga was quite surprised by this, "It's okay my dear…" he brought the conversation back.

"_Oh no…"_

"Your gift is meaningless to me. It's what you've done to me that counts. I am touched and blissful to know that you're always there to help me…"

"Brainy, stop…" his words were like dagger stabbing through her heart, "I'm really, really grateful that you saved my life…"

"Yes, and I did that because I don't want to see you suffer like me. It breaks my heart if I ever see you in a similar ordeal that I'm bearing right now."

"Brainy please… listen to me." A tear just rolled down her cheek. His words were too unbearable for her. But Brainy just wouldn't listen.

"My love… Cherish this moment with me. I want to thank you for all you've done—"

"Brainy, STOP!" she snapped back. Her hands were shaken, her heart was pounding heart, and her misty eyes gazed right back into his eyes, piercing through it. With an extreme reluctance and heavyhearted will to continue, she melancholically said with a broken voice, "I can't love you."

Brainy was taken aback. He didn't believe what she just said to her, so he just denied them and continued his graceful eloquence. "I want to thank—"

"Brainy, stop… your words are already hard for me listen to, just as much as when you heard me just now. I just… can't love you."

Brainy was stunned. It was terribly hard to accept it. His mind was all in disarray trying to comprehend what Helga just uttered to him. It felt like his heart was ripped out from his chest and got stomped on repeatedly. He was horrified. He didn't know what to say back at her.

"Why…?" he said in a terribly shaken voice.

"Because… because…" telling him that she loved Arnold would devastate him so much, so she tried to find a way to obscure him, but alas, she couldn't. With an unwilling heart, she told him, "I'm in love with somebody else."

"I-I… I," a tear dropped down from his eye, "I can't believe this…" he sniffed, "I thought we have… something unique between us…"

"Brainy, please!" she snapped back with a trembling voice, crying, "Don't' you realize all those flirts that I threw to you were just playful banter? You think just because you saved me, I'd fall for you?"

Pain swept all across his body, "Helga please… don't do this to me…" he said shakily, "But if you don't love me, then why do you always help me?" he cried out loud in anguish.

Helga let more tears rolled from her eyes, "It's because I'm grateful for all what you've done to me… not because of love. Brainy… I know how you're feeling right now. I'm just as hurt as much as you—"

"No…" he shook his head in denial, "You _don't_ know how I'm feeling right now…" he slowly began to hyperventilate, "Your confession hurts me more than all the pain I'm suffering…" the heartbeat monitor suddenly was racing furiously, "No… I can't believe you…" he started to breathe labouredly and suddenly began to jerk violently. Helga panicked. The monitor beeped dangerously and Brainy's violent movement shook the bed. Helga quickly sprung into action and slammed the 'Doctor' button on top of his bed. Seconds later, a couple of doctors rushed in and was in shock of the patient's condition.

"Oh my goodness!" Dr. Steiglitz uttered in shock, "Call the nurses quick!" he said to the young doctor who came with him. "And tell them to bring the defibrillator, stat!" A defibrillator is a device where electrical shock is applied on the chest to reset the heart's condition – a rough description. The younger doctor nodded and hastily he ran back out and shouted at the nurses.

"Move aside, girl!" Dr. Steiglitz said frenetically and Helga jumped out from her seat and went back far away as she could from the bed. He began a series of checkups and procedures after putting the oxygen mask on his face. The other doctor and two nurses came bursting through the door and assisted the old doctor. "Get out, kid! Get out!" one of the nurse shouted in panic as she ran up to her and tried to push her out from the room.

"Get back here!" the other nurse shouted.

"Oh no, we're losing him!" the young doctor said. By now, Helga was out of the room, and could only hear indistinctly of the chaotic situation inside the ward room. She could only hope and pray for the best.

"I'm reading a flat line from the heart monitor!" the nurse shouted in panic. A cold wave of fright suddenly enveloped Helga, and she felt lightheaded and nearly fainted. She took a few steps backwards, hit the wall behind her and slumped down to the floor. She cried in anguish.

Dr. Steiglitz took the metal pads out from the defibrillator as the other nurse rubbed some gel onto Brainy's chest. "Performing defibrillation procedure! Okay, clear!" Watts of electricity traveled through his body, and he jolted upwards. There was still no sign of life as everyone stared at the heart monitor. "Again, clear!"

There was complete and utter silence as Helga writhe in her own torment. No words could describe how she felt right now, as she cried and sobbed dejectedly on the floor with her hands clasping her face as she cursed herself and felt mortified for doing that to Brainy. Her sobbing could be heard across the hallway by her group of friends, who looked at her with a perplexed gaze as they entered the hallway. They looked at each other for a moment, and walked up to her.

Phoebe sat next to her and as usual, and offered comfort. Helga hugged her tightly as she continued to cry, "Helga… hush now. Calm down. We're here." Phoebe said softly to soothe her best friend. Sheena also sat down and helped her drown her anguish. Nadine did the same. Sid however, rubbed his forehead and looked away. He didn't want to be seen crying.

Moments later, Dr. Steiglitz walked out and saw the group of teenagers in front of him. Softly he said, "You can all calm down now… he's alive and safe." Helga could only smile back in jubilation. Still crying, she laughed softly and embraced her friends. Her friends didn't know what it was actually about, but glad to hear that Brainy was all right. After wiping those small brims of tears from his eyes, Sid turned around and asked the Doctor, "What happened, doc?"

"Your friend got a cardiac arrest. Could be from his asthma… or something else…" he glanced momentarily at Helga. "Nevertheless, he's okay now, but he is in a need of a good rest." The doctor and nurses who aided him were walking out from the room right now, "You're allowed in, but try to keep the conversation into a minimum."

Sid nodded, "Thanks doc… for saving him." he replied kindly. The doctor nodded back, and patted his shoulder softly. With the aid of his walking stick, he walked away from them, slowly step by step.

**VIII**

_And that's what basically happened. Again I assure you that he's_

She lost the will to write. She thought by writing to Arnold, it would calm her out. But instead, it just made her worse. Reminiscing back all about the ordeal she had been trough was terrible enough for her to bear. With a tormented scream, she crumpled up the paper she wrote and threw it away angrily. The pen she was using was thrown out of the window. She crossed her arms on her desk and rested her head on it as she cried to let all her suffering away.

The circumstances that occurred between her and Brainy would most likely happen _if _Arnold rejected her love. It was because of that dreadful thought she was too afraid and scared to let her feelings out to him. The pain and suffering that Brainy felt be most likely on the same line that Helga would felt if Arnold rejected her affection towards him. It also made her realize that it was selfish of her to made Brainy like that and thusly made her guilt feel unbearable. Though they were never meant for each other, but they both, in an ironic sort of way, shared a commonality – the extreme fear of rejection.

"Honey, are you okay?" Miriam said as she knocked the door, "I heard you screaming and—" her head poked in and saw her daughter crying. Gasping, and placing her hand on her mouth, she was shocked to see her daughter crying like that. She slowly walked over to her and held her shoulders, stroking them gently, "Helga, is there something wrong?"

"No mom…" she sobbed, "I'm just peachy…"she cried and answered back in a cynical tone. Unsatisfied, and her motherly instincts told her to help her daughter out, Miriam tried to get Helga out from her chair and let her hugged her, to embrace the warmth of a caring mother, which she wanted to prove greatly to this particular child of hers that she was still competent enough to be a thoughtful mother. Helga embraced her tightly, as though she wouldn't want to let go off her. "It's okay… its okay Helga, I'm here." She rubbed her back and kissed her head. "Let it out to me, I'll listen." They then slowly walked over to Helga's bed, still not releasing each other's grasp and sat on it.

Helga was in need of warmth and comfort. She lifted her legs and put them on her bed, as she rested her head on her mother's lap, and held her two hands on it. Emotionally touched by her daughter, she gently caressed her hair to give warmth, compassionate and a sense of security. Miriam could feel a warm tear dropping on her lap. But she didn't care all that, because her top priority right now was to attend to her daughter, to love her and be with her in her time of need. And with that, she accomplished it. "Take your time, honey…"

* * *

I kinda feel it doesn't sound original to have Brainy gotten into an accident but, that's the best I got. In the first chapter I've established Mr. Simmons as a person who advices the kids in this fic, and on this story I'm using his characterization to the fullest. Chapter Seven really scares me since I feel it has a melodramatic and cliche quality to it, which I really want to avoid. I dunno, hopefully I did it right. And I edited scene IX out from this story since I feel it doesn't feel right because it's a scene about Helga coming back to Brainy on the next day, but after the melancholy emotion outburst in scene seven, it wouldn't be wise of Helga to see Brainy again on the next day. I'm proud of scene eight however, since I feel Helga and Miriam are really bonding in it, rather than showing her being neglectful. Oh well, thanks for reading and please leave a review. Other fics will be up in the next coming days. 


	4. Ep4: Prelude to Madness

_Author's Note: _People are sooo going to hate me for this. :) Aside from animation, my favorite subject to discuss with are politics. Yes, I am boring... I follow the world's current events, every election and conflict in the world and issues that goes with it. I prefer written media rather than television.You could see some hints of my passion for current events and politics reflected in my other fics. And this chapter derives from my love of it, but I don't think an episode like this would be made though. This story is based on the last Presidential Elections. Nevertheless, I'm trying to be as neutral as possible as I don't want to reveal my real views regarding world events that surrounds us. The characters' views in this chapter are strictly based on their own opinion, not mine, though I couldn't help but to put some jabs on the Prez. :) All the statistics were based on the 2000 elections. And about stereotyping Stinky and Rhonda... meh. Also I'd like to remind that you shouldn't take this all too seriously, since this all a good natured satire on the recent elections.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 4: Prelude to Madness

**I**

Helga stood leaning against the wall behind the couch with her arms crossed, watching the television with a thoughtful attention with her family. She was somewhat worried when she read the news ticker on the news channel that said the President won the second term to the office. Olga and Miriam shared the same sentiment, while Bob smiled broadly at the news. Suddenly Olga began to choke up as she could not believe that the guy she voted for lost the election. Bob began the rubbing in process to his family. Sickened by her father's attitude, Helga walked out from the den and went upstairs to her room. Her laptop was on since she was downloading a large video file – okay, a movie for free. Thinking there was nothing to do, so she sat in front of her laptop, logged into her email account and started to type away.

_Salutations non-potential candidate Arnold,_

_I just came from the family room watching the news with my family. Yes sir, my football shaped head friend, the elections hath finally come to an end. Despite the somewhat wacky, frenetic and carnival-esque atmosphere, I really don't care about it, since I'm not eligible to vote because my age forbids me to do so. The rest of my family seems to be going nuts about it, though. Miriam watched the BOX News (Yes, laugh with me) 24 hours non-stop about the coverage. Bob was happy that the guy he voted for won the elections and as for Olga, being an overly liberal person she is, crying because the other guy lost. Kinda funny when dad shouted "IN YOUR FACE!" at her when they announced the winner. _

_Speaking of loony liberals and crazy conservatives, a lot had happened at school too during the final weeks before the actual elections started. We staged a mock election and everyone was encouraged to drop a vote. I, on the other hand just doodled some moustaches, beards, horns and evil eyes on the ugly pictures of our presidential candidates on the ballot slip. And an eye patch. Can't forget about the eye patch. The most interesting people to watch these past few weeks are Rhonda and Stinky, since they are polar opposites of their political spectrum. I can't believe that Stinky suddenly became totally smart and intelligent and stupid again in a span of few weeks. Rhonda just annoyed the heck out of us by forcing us to listen to her views. Even though I am well aware of the issues, I hate it when someone else tries to shove their opinion down my throat._

_So… like, wanna hear it? Come on, I'm bored here._

**II**

"Therefore, that's why I think he's a suitable candidate to become our next president. Don't be swayed by the empty promises, lies and fallacies that other guy say to the nation. Are you going to eat up to his words that don't hold any credibility at all? Do you want to get drafted to fight an unjust war?" Rhonda said to convince a special interest group and the school reporter. She as one of the few mock campaigners and advocates for the Democrat Presidential candidate tried to do her best to rally votes for the mock elections in school. She was a staunch Democrat and liberal, so she wanted to have her choice for president to win the elections, not to mention that she hated the other guy. Four years of deceit, lies and an unjustifiable war was too much for her.

Helga and Phoebe walked past her rather hastily, since they didn't want to be pestered by Rhonda about her views and opinions regarding her candidate. After they turned at a hallway junction and felt like they were out from Rhonda's sight, they began to talk.

"The Princess has been really annoying lately, don't you think so?" Helga asked. "Wait, let me rephrase: The Princess has become even _more_ annoying than usual, don't you think so?"

"Well, the Presidential Elections are just around the corner so her actions are pretty much understandable."

"She could at least have the decency not to pester us."

"True, but that's what you get if you were raised in a family full of Democrats."

"Her whole family is a Democrat party supporter?" Helga asked in disbelief.

"Indeed." Phoebe replied to reaffirm, "Nadine told me that Rhonda's parents even donated some money to fund the Hillwood Democrat campaign."

"Wow, they must be really pushing for votes since the elections are only a few days away."

"Undeniably." She replied, "Somehow their last minute actions are paying off."

"So Pheebs, giving the current condition now, who are you going to vote for?"

She chuckled a bit, "Well, like you Helga, I'm not in the eligible age to vote."

"Well, what if you are?"

"I don't know. Somehow I'm losing faith in our democracy."

"Oh my gosh Phoebe! You're losing faith in democracy? You communist heathen! Some American you are! That's blasphemy." Helga replied jokingly, "What makes you say that?"

"Well, for one thing I feel the both of the main candidates are incapable of running our country. Secondly, as a country which is being build on civil liberties and takes pride of their democracy, it's kind of ironic that only a little over 50 percent came to vote on the last Presidential elections. What kind of democracy are us if our own people don't even embrace the ideology?"

"What's so wrong about half of the eligible voters actually voted?"

"Considering the fact that other countries like Greece are at 89 percent and Turkey at 80 percent of their voter turnout at their most recent elections, I think our country really need a lot of catching up to do."

"Okay, let me ask you this: If you are eligible to vote right now, who are you going to vote for?"

"Hmm…" Phoebe pondered, "Who _will_ I vote for…?" she tapped her chin thoughtfully with her index finger, "Come to think of it, it is pretty humorous to hear the President last week during the debates invoking words like 'freedom' and 'liberty' many times over, as if he hadn't much to say. It's an unhealthy political platform, you know." she giggled softly, "But in all seriousness, he doesn't present his views very clearly and I disagree with some of his policies. And although his opposition was clear about his issues, but all the rhetoric was hackneyed. He also tends to flip-flop a lot."

"So who are you going to vote for?"

"It would be hypocritical of me to not vote since it will put me in the category of the people that I criticize earlier. But because I approve neither candidate that I just mentioned, so I decided to vote for the Independent candidate. He seems like a person who's competent enough to run the country. Besides, his views share much in common with mine."

"Oh, Phoebe. You and your silly idealistic views." Helga said jokingly, "You do know he's never going to win, don't you?"

"True, but at least I'm not a hypocrite and I voted." She smiled back at her.

**III**

Stinky and Sid walked down the mundane looking school hallway while talking to each other. It was nothing much in particular, until Stinky started to talk about the upcoming elections.

"So Sid, what's yer opinion about that dang Republican Party Platform?"

"Dude, give it a rest already, will you? You haven't been the same ever since you went to that Republican Convention with your family few weeks ago. Always elections this and President that. Besides, you'd best ask someone else. I really don't get politics, man."

"I wish I could stop asking Sid, but I just can't stand a-round and do nuttin' while that Miss Rhonda's here; on account she's spewing all her liberal nonsense to other folks."

"Hey, you're the GOP guy around here, man."

Suddenly, Rhonda was seen emerging out from the crowd, hugging her books while walking hastily. Stinky's eyes narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed at her. Rhonda glared back with a despised look at him. When they passed each other by, they could feel an electric spark of hate channeling through. As much as they wanted to prove one another wrong, they had to wait until the right moment for a debate. But still, they couldn't help but to at least exchange some insults to each other. They were compelled.

"Narrow minded conservative right-winger!" ridiculed Rhonda.

"Empty headed liberal dreamer!" Stinky retorted. And they just went on walking after that somewhat witty, intelligible repartee they returned to each other. Sid thought that was one of the smartest things that Stinky had said all day.

"So I'll be going now." He pointed to a classroom he supposed to go. "See you later, man."

"Yeah. Y'all take care now, ya hear?"

Sid opened the door and surveyed the room. The teacher hadn't arrived yet unsurprisingly, since she was on maternity leave, but the class was almost full. But thankfully, Iggy was already inside sitting next to his favorite seat. At least he could talk with him before the teacher came in.

"They gonna put a substitute." Sid said in a singsong voice. "Hopefully the guy is a pushover."

"Dude, I doubt it." Iggy replied back. "Hey, who do you think will win the election?"

"Ah man…" he sighed, "As if Stinky hadn't asked me that question enough already… You wanna know who I think will win this stupid election? Optimum Prime from the Autocons party is gonna win a landslide victory. He's totally gonna _pizzown_ Deceptibots candidate Negatron, man." And with that, he smiled broadly at him.

Iggy looked back at him with a quizzical gaze, with one of his eyebrows lifted, "… You're stupid."

"And don't ask me a stupid question again. I'm sick of hearing that stupid elections already."

**IV**

"Okay kids," Mr. Hartman the history teacher said to the class as he walked around, "Since the elections are coming, I'd thought I might ask you guys some trivia regarding the elections, you know, to keep up with current events and such. Mr. Petersen," he turned to Stinky, "In what year was the Republican Party founded?"

"1844." Stinky replied with confidence.

"It's actually _1854_, you stupid hick." Rhonda turned around in her seat and intervened with a bitter, cynical tone. "And I thought you were quite the Republican." She added further sarcastically.

"Don't bring it into the class, Rhonda…" Stinky warned irately.

"Hey, I'm just stating the fact, that's all. No need get oh so angry with me." She replied back with a sardonic tone. But beneath the teasing act that Rhonda played, she was planning something malicious. She wanted to terribly humiliate Stinky in front of the class by provoking him to go on a debate, so she could beat him in it. Stinky was aware of her tricks, and decided he should calm down. But then again, one's patience had their limits…

"Okay Miss Lloyd," said Mr. Hartman, "Since you're so knowledgeable in political history, I assume you won't have any problems answering my next question: After Franklin Roosevelt's death, people sought to limit the Presidential term in office by setting a two-term limit. When was this amendment first proposed and what does it called?"

"It was proposed on… 19…19 forty…" she stammered nervously, trying to find the right answer, "uh… um, seven…" she gave a random shot, closing her eyes tightly.

"Correct." Mr. Hartman said, "And what does it called?"

"The Twenty… uh…Twenty… Something Amendment?" she gave her teacher a nervous grin.

"Hah!" Stinky suddenly pouted, "Shows that all Dems are arrogant and dimwitted!" he pointed at her with a satisfied smile. "It's the 22nd Amendment you ignorant liberal!"

"Just because I couldn't answer one question, doesn't make me an idiot!" Rhonda retorted back him.

"Oh, the irony!" Stinky replied back, throwing his arms into the air, "At least I ain't the one who started attacking political beliefs of someone else!"

"You want an attack? Well, I'm gonna give you an attack!" Rhonda shouted back at him, "The President is a liar and a fabricator! He tricked us to believe that we're fighting a just war! But in fact, it's not! All I see is greed for oil and unnecessary bloodbath on innocent lives! And where are the mass weapons he's talking about!"

"Dagnabbit, Rhonda!" Stinky replied in shocked disbelief and rage, "Where'd ya git that from? Mike Moor? You'll believe everythayng that fat guy says! His documentary ain't nuthin' but biased liberal crap that ain't have any credibility whatsoever! And at least we've captured the dictator guy and liberated the country!"

"And you believe everything that sorry excuse for a President says! You think that the people in that country want us there?" she riposted back heatedly. "Do you really want to get drafted Stinky?" this particular remark sent chills to every student inside the classroom, "And become another casualty statistic?"

"I ain't _BELIEVE_ this!" he shouted through his clenched teeth, "He has perfectly stated that there _ain't-gonna-be-a-draft_! Are ya a fool or just plain ignorant 'bout it?"

"And I should believe his lies?" she said back, "And what about other affairs, huh? Do you in the slightest bit are aware that he's taking away your civil liberties, your rights little by little? And don't get me started that the fact he led us to an unpopular war and presided on a bad economy?"

"And you believe all of his empty promises and false hopes. At least I feel safer when our President is in office. I and ain't gonna stand and watch that Democrat destroy our family and moral values by legalizing abo—"

And the debate just getting more and more heated and intense as both of them furiously defended their views of their respective candidates. They retort, counter-retort, riposte and counter-riposte each other with bombastic and articulate words and sharp rhetoric just to prove themselves that they are dominating the debate and to sound smarter than their opponents. Just like the real debates. There were a lot of hands slamming against the table too. The class just listened to them and not doing anything to calm them down as they thought it was more entertaining and fun than listen to Mr. Hartman's boring lecture. It was a great time killer. Speaking of Mr. Hartman, he just stood with his arms crossed looking at them with a pleased smile. Park who sat next to him, furrowed his eyebrows in disbelief at why didn't his teacher took no action to break them up.

"Mr. Hartman, not that I'm questioning you as an authority in the class or anything, but shouldn't you do something before they kill each other out?" he asked to him.

"Park my boy," he replied back with a smile, "I _want_ them to have this debate in class. It's very exciting to hear these kids regarding their 'views' about the world around them." He explained while making quotation marks with his fingers, "It's very amusing and it actually serves no educational values whatsoever!"

"So it's just a ploy to kill time?" he asked back, starting to smile.

"Now you read my mind, sonny."

"You're awesome, Mr. Hartman. And I'm inspired to become just like you someday." He replied proudly in a joking tone.

"Well, now I'm flattered that I know at least one of my students are inspired to become bald and divorced thrice." He replied jokingly too. "Just grab a lawn chair, sit back and relax, eat some popcorn, and enjoy the show."

And Park kicked back and relaxed as he inclined back and stretched his legs. Rhonda and Stinky continued to rage on their debates, throwing everything that they knew to thwart the other, even the kitchen sink. Everybody thought this was even better than the real election debate. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical altercation ceremony, some of them had thought.

**V**

School was over for the day. Park and Robert were walking out from the school building talking to each other, mostly about school gossip and such. Park couldn't help but to mention Rhonda and Stinky's fight during history class, which he greatly wanted to mention it to his friend.

"Wanna do something after this?" Robert asked.

"Well, what do you have in mind?" Park asked back.

"Dunno." He shrugged, "Both Harold and Gerald are planning to play football at the field today. So, like, wanna join us?"

"I dunno man. I'm kinda busy after this."

"Dude, forget homework man." He replied jokingly. "You're barely hanging out with the guys already."

"No can do, Rob. It's Mr. Hartman's class and he asked us to do this stupid history assignment. Heh, speaking of history…" he had a smile broaden on his face, "Rhonda and Stinky had an Electoral Debate of their own just now during class."

"Mwa ha ha." Robert laughed humorously. "They'll never stop, won't they?"

"Meh, they'll stop eventually once the election is over. But until then, we have free entertainment!"

"You know what'd be awesome?" Robert asked him, "Stinky would be like, standing at the podium, pointing at Rhonda accusingly with his stiffed menacing finger and loudly yell at her 'YOU FORGOT POLAND!'"

Both of them laughed softly, "No man, he'd be more like, 'they misunderestimate me!'", they laughed again, "Because I heard rumors on the internetsssss!" this time, they laughed out loud.

"Ah, hahahaha…" Robert laughed, putting his hand over his eyes, "Misunderestimate… is that even a word?"

"It _is_ a word if you're the President, you accursed fiend!" Park replied back. "And he wondered whether we were learning!"

"Hey, it's a question rarely asked!" he answered. "Man, that guy is a pure comedian! Everything he said is pure comedic gold!"

"Oh… whoo-hoo… oh, man…" and the laughter finally began to die down.

"So you're coming or what?" Robert asked him regarding the football thing.

"Ah…" he pondered, "Nah, I'm not coming. Sorry man."

"Aw dude, come on. Just exactly what are you doing that makes you busy all day?"

"First I'll go back home. Then rest, and have lunch. Then I'm gonna go do the dishes," his voice suddenly became energetic, "and then laundry," and louder too, "and homework, and shower!" he shouted passionately, punching the air with his fist, "YYYEEAAAARRGGGHHH!"

"Dude, that is the lamest Dean impression, ever." Robert said with his eyes narrowed.

"Eh…" Park shrugged, "It's not like I care or anything."

"So… when are going to announce the result of the mock elections?" Robert asked.

"You guys actually played along in that crap?" Helga said, suddenly appeared behind them.

"Well, _yeah. _What about you?" Park asked back.

"Meh, I just doodled some crap on the ballot paper." Helga replied back. "Also I wrote some degrading stuff about Rhonda." She chuckled softly and as well as evilly. "It's about time she gets what she deserves for pestering me these past few weeks. By the way, they're going to announce the winner tomorrow, so have your streamers, confetti and party hats ready, if you're really nuts about this stuff."

"Man, Helga." Robert shook his head, "I really don't know what to say."

"Aren't you apathetic about this matter, good Miss Pataki." Park said to her.

"Why?" Helga asked with an intimidating tone, "A mock election doesn't prove anything. It just shows that which candidate is more popular among our school demographics and also it won't be added into the real ballot count. Thusly, I couldn't care less what the outcome will be. Just wait until you can vote on the _real_ elections and by then you can worry about the result. Now move aside because I have a bus to catch." She then walked through between them as she shoved them away.

"Man, that woman scares me." Robert said as he watched Helga climbed the bus' stairs up and shoved a junior away out of the window.

"I concur with you." Park replied with a slightly edgy tone.

**VI**

_The Day after Tomorrow…_

"Attention all Elk High School students," the voice over the PA crackled, "The result for our mock presidential campaign are in and the outcome is the Democratic Presidential Candidate—" a high-pitched piercing noise was heard suddenly, and died down, "won by a landslide."

"OH YES!" Rhonda jumped out from her seat with her fist in the air, startling everyone in the class and nearly caused the teacher to have a heart attack. "That'll show Stinky!" she pointed randomly at someone. The person just looked back at her in a WTF like expression.

On a different classroom, Stinky was disappointed, but not shocked as he had expected this to happen since Rhonda's campaign was in full force compared to other party's efforts and not to mention it got fueled by that documentary that he thought was extremely biased and full with baseless accusations. He just kept his dissatisfaction and anger to himself and tried not to throw any tantrums as some of the people in the class looked at him with a sardonic smile and some soft laughter. The teacher who was writing something on the board was smiling broadly to herself when the news was being announced; knowing that one of her students was a staunch Republican.

**VII**

_But now the real results are in, and he's still stays as our President. FOUR MORE YEARS! Somehow, I really want to see the looks on Rhonda's face when they announce the result just now. She and her family must've their jaws gaping wide open in shock in front of the TV by now. Hopefully a fly will fly into her mouth and choke her. Tee hee. I think up the most psychotic things. Stinky and his family however probably sure love the news right now. As for me… I don't know, I'm kinda disappointed though, but not by much. One thing's for sure, I can't wait to go to school tomorrow, just to see the reactions would look like. Wow, first time I'm looking forward for tomorrow. Ah, I think I'm done here. Write to you later, you crazy football head person you._

_Proud supporter of the Partido Acción Nacional,_

_Helga._

Helga hover the cursor on the 'send' button, but did not click on it. But after much contemplation, she just shrugged it off and highlighted all the word she just wrote and copied it on a document sheet. She then saved it in a folder. She then noticed the video file she was downloading was finally completed. So she ran down to the kitchen, put a packet of popcorn into the microwave and took out a bottle of soda from the fridge. She waited for the popcorn to stop popping. Once done she took it out, ran back into her room and played the video.

_On the next day…_

Rhonda walked bitterly along the school hallway with an equally bitter, angry look on her face. Everyone that she walked pass through either just gave her a sardonic smile or a mocking grin. Some even flashed a thumbs up just to ire her.

"Okay, okay…" Harold snickered as he got shoved by Sid, "I'm going, I'm going…" so he approached Rhonda, and asked her, "So Rhonda…" he snickered again, "Why the long…" he couldn't control his laughter, "why the long face?" and it was accompanied by a huge burst of hysterical laughter and tears could be seen squeezed out from his closed eyes.

Rhonda punched him in the face. The laughter just stopped abruptly. Sid, who was observing them, just laughed when Rhonda landed a punch on the husky gentleman. After Rhonda left Harold to his painful fate, Sid came over to him and helped him up. "Oh, man…" Sid said with some laughs in between, "Can't believe she actually hit you!"

On a different place inside the school, Gerald could be seen walking with Nadine, discussing about the election results as they walk through the crowd.

"So you have heard about the news in Illinois?"

"Yeah." Gerald replied back, "A brother won the Senate Elections there. That's pretty sweet."

"And there are already people saying that he should run for President in the next elections." Nadine added further.

"Hopefully he will consider that." Gerald said back, which was concurred by Nadine. Gerald then spotted Phoebe talking with Helga at the nearby stairs. After he excused herself from Nadine, he went over to Phoebe and greeted her. And her friend too. Phoebe then excused herself from Helga, and they walked to class together. Helga just rolled her eyes and passed Rhonda and Stinky by, who exchanged angry glares and hateful looks to each other, though she could see a small smile of satisfaction on Stinky's face. Would they stay bitter to each other after this? Helga doubted it.

* * *

The Presidential Candidates is not mentioned, though I wanted to put 'Shrub', 'Kenny' and 'Vader' to replace the real names. >.> Sides, it breaks the guidelines anyway if I did... I collected the sources from scouring over the internet, which took me a couple of weeks before publishing this. Also, if you happened to follow the news, you'd catch some of the jokes thrown by Park, Robert and Harold. I don't think this story is gonna get well received... so, uh, yeah.  



	5. Ep5: Phoebe Otaku

_Author's Note: _First off, I want to say this first: I have nothing against the your average anime fan, whom I am friends with. Naruto sucks. But I do however, have some beef with the more... obsessive one. You know, the militant ones, who thinks that anime, J-Pop and Japan are everything to them. Naruto sucks. This fic is kinda about something that I want to vent about them. Right about now, you're probably thinking that I'm one of those casual guys who watches **_Dragon Ball _**or **_Samurai X_**. While it may be true, I also have several anime fansubs in my collection. I also have watched some animes that hasn't been licensed in the States yet, thanks to my friends. Naruto sucks. A lot of American cartoons have satirized anime as shown in **_Dexter's Lab, Angry Beavers_**, and the most obvious of all, **_Megas XLR_**, but in their context, they're parodiying the anime show as a whole. In this fic however, I'm satirizing their fanbase. That's what I'm heading to. Also, I've been watching a lot of _**Genshiken **_lately, and I thought, eh, it might be fun. Did I mention how Naruto sucks? To all of you non-geeks out there, I bid you welcome to geek subculture 101 - Otaku.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 5: Phoebe Otaku

**I**

Helga opened her closet and threw her CD case on a couple of unused pillows stacking together. The case then slid to left and fell onto a pile of CD cases of her favorite bands. Her closet held a lot of memories for her, since it was in this place where she spent countless upon countless of hours writing poetry, saying romantic soliloquy to herself and worshipping her love, Arnold, during her childhood. This was her ultimate getaway, a sort of sanctuary for her leave reality for a while. All the memories began to channel into her mind. She shook her head and laughed softly thinking how stupid was she back in her younger years for constructing a giant Arnold shrine out of garbage that she found littered on the streets and snippets of things that she collected from her beloved. Poor guy, and she ruined his shirt and hair too.

But that was all in the past now, and her feelings for Arnold were mostly underground now. All of her tremendous energy of love for him was locked deep within her heart after he moved away to San Lorenzo. But she do hope someday she would go and meet Arnold and restart the insanities again, this time with the person she loved rather than that pathetic replica she made and was thrown out after she entered middle school. She closed the closet door, and checked a message board on her laptop. Her faith in humanity dropped significantly after she read a certain posted message, and it was at this point that she felt like to stay away from technology for the time being. So she grabbed her pen and piece of paper, and started to write away to Arnold.

_Konichi-wa Arnold-san,_

_I'm gonna spare the explanation of the greeting since it's pretty much well known throughout the world, or at least, every nerd circle worldwide. Arnold-chan, have you ever been to Japan before? You know, the stock Asian country in Hollywood movies and where ninjas come from? I had an interesting stint with its culture last week, with the courtesy goes to Phoebe and Eugene. Well, it's more about their pop-culture actually. We're talking about absolute weirdness here: quirky videogames, J-pop music videos that really made you question the zaniness of those singers, and last but not least, their all-powerful export: no, not cars and electronic devices you dolt, anime! _

_Eugene was mad at me when I called them 'Japanese cartoons'. I mean, what's wrong with that? It's still a cartoon, only it is made in Japan, so I really don't see the difference between the two of them. Well, except for one difference, that Japanese ones are certainly a lot flashier than American cartoons. Eh, whatever. I'd rather have that lunatic Eugene debate over it. Saw his username on a message board, he's been going out on a flame war with some other guy saying American cartoons are better than anime. These people really need to get out, seriously. Man, if I was a moderator on that board, I wouldn't hesitate to IP ban them out. And I thought Eugene was one of the most ethical Intarwebs users around. I guess I was wrong. _

_Anyhoo, after Eugene introduced to Phoebe to some of those Japanese Cartoons, all the shenanigans broke loose. SHENANIGANS! Man, I love that word. Phoebe became just as obsessed as he was to the point where I was completely being freaked out by her. I blame Eugene for this and his ridiculous hijinks. Phoebe seems to take her obsession moderately now, thanks to me. Har har. You wanna know how did these shenanigans (SHENANIGANS!) started? Phoebe and Eugene are in the same class for the Japanese Language class in school…_

**II**

So the bell rang, and the students got up from their seats. The class was a Japanese Language class just introduced last year in Elk High as it was recommended by a teacher of a Japanese descent and it received an overwhelming support by the Anime Club. Elk High was one of the few high schools that offered Japanese language in the city. And due to this, Eugene was really thankful for it. Phoebe was the same. But the both of them had different reasons why they wanted to learn the language. As an anime fan and everything related to it, it was necessary for Eugene to learn the language. Phoebe on the other hand, just wanted to learn her native tongue which she sparsely spoke with her father from time to time.

"Okay class, that'd be all for today. Please do the assignments that I've told you earlier during class. _O-daijini nasatte kudasai! Gokigen yo._" the young female teacher replied as she tilted her head slightly to the left with a broad smile on her face with her eyes closed. Every guy in class thought she was hot. Phoebe was walking with Eugene out from the class. Eugene flipped some pages repeatedly of a book he was holding, being confused by some of the words in it. He then asked Phoebe.

"Pheebs, can you help me with this?" he then showed the page to Phoebe. She was stunned a little bit.

"Eugene, this is _kanji_, the hardest form of writing in Japanese. Heck, I don't even understand it myself!" she returned the book back to Eugene, "And our class doesn't cover this topic at all. Although I'm impressed that you're taking the liberty of learning it yourself, but why do you burden yourself with the extra effort? You should ease yourself by practicing with _romaji_ first."

"I don't know… I feel like it, I guess." He shrugged.

"You _feel_ like it?" Phoebe replied disbelievingly. "Or there is a sinister ulterior motive behind that plot…" she guessed jokingly.

"Uh… well actually, I don't really know." He replied back. I've been watching a lot of animes recently and… I'm intrigued by the culture I guess."

"Just from watching anime? I never really interested in watching those shows. Sure, I played lots of Japanese RPGs from time to time, but I never once have a desire to watch those shows on television."

"Heh, I don't watch animes on TV a lot myself because the English voice acting really turns me off. I prefer the original Japanese _seiyuu _to voice the show and with fansubs to accompany the story." said the elitist fanboy. "Hey, speaking of animes, how about if I lend to you some of my own that I downloaded from the internet?"

"Oh, I don't know Eugene…" she tried to refuse politely, "I don't fancy those shows—"

"Ah, come on, Pheebs. You'll like it when after you see it." he encouraged her. He tried to bring her to the dark side.

"Oh… okay." She smiled, and she finally crossed over to the dark side. "I know animes comprises a lot of genres, so I think I'll be specific on my choice. Do you have any anime that is humorous and somewhat cute-ish…?"

"Ah, I think I have just the anime you wanted. May I recommend _Azamanga Dayoh_ and _Chii-bits_?"

"I haven't heard of them before." Phoebe replied back, "Is it any good?"

"Ooh, it _is _very good…" he replied back with a subtle malicious tone.

"Okay, if you insist. I'll drop by your at house after school and get hold of them later, okay?" She then saw Gerald walking toward them and she quickly excused herself, "See you later, Eugene."

"Yeah, see ya." He lifted a hand to wave at Phoebe and Gerald. He then stopped walking and looked at the both of them chatting as they walked away. He then thought to himself, _"Heh, she's smart, cute, talented, likes videogames and is starting to watch animes. That's rare for a girl." _He smiled to himself, but in spite of all that, he had his heart set for someone else. He then continued walking alone to his locker. He accidentally tripped over by his own shoelaces. "I'm okay…"

_Two days later…_

_Tsukarekitta kao hizamakurashite ageru __  
__Minna niwa naisho ni shite wo ite ageru __  
__HERO suki na dake you are my BOYFRIEND __  
__Kamitsuite ii yo_

She was listening to a J-Pop song from a very popular J-pop singer. It had been two days since Eugene lent his anime CDs to Phoebe but she had yet to watch it, and the CDs was placed neatly next to her computer, collecting dust. She was using her computer right now, writing creepy _yaoi_ lemon fanfic of her favorite videogame. After writing a few paragraphs over, she suddenly developed author's block, and she decided that she should stop writing right now, and to unwind herself. She lay back to the seat and placed her feet on it as she rocked herself softly. She then looked around and saw Eugene's CDs next to the computer. Should she? She shrugged and thought, what the heck, since had nothing to do right now. She ejected the CD tray out and put the anime titled _Azamanga Dayoh _in.

"_Kyaah, Cheeyo-chan! Kawaii desu nee!" _one of the crazy characters said to a kid who apparently went to high school at a very young age. And Phoebe just got hooked. "_Kyaa, kawaii!_" Phoebe said to herself, and her interest in anime expanded to great heights.

**III**

So on the next morning, which was a weekend thankfully, Phoebe and Helga was seen at the park, jogging together. Helga had her Mp3 player with her, but she put the volume on low so she could have a conversation with Phoebe. She on the other hand, had no electronic gadgets attached to her, since she felt listening to music while jogging was troublesome. So they jogged across the path through the open grass area, over the lake and to the woods, talking about whatever's on their mind. Phoebe, who liked to open up to her best friend, began to tell Helga about what she did yesterday, with the extremely private matter like being a closet _yaoi_ fangirl were left out.

"Eugene lent me some of his shows yesterday." She said to Helga as they jogged.

"What? That silly dorky _Enterprise_ show? That show is _so_ passé now, Pheebs. Right now everybody is watching that _Battlestar_ something-or-other show. Heck, even my sister is watching it."

"No. Animes Helga, animes."

"Wait, let me guess: it must be that dumb show where they shout incoherent banters and throwing farts at each other, right?"

"Gosh Helga, nobody watches _Dragoon Ballz_ anymore. I'm talking about animes that haven't been released in the States, which I had the opportunity to watch a couple of them yesterday. And suffice it to say, it is very… _interesting_."

"Lemme guess, they throw farts at each other too?"

"No, Helga." She replied, started to get annoyed by Helga's ignorant assumptions. "The shows I saw yesterday were very cute and funny to watch. I literally rolled on the floor laughing (ROFL)."

Helga wasn't interested at Phoebe's little story at all. She then began to hum the song that was playing on her Mp3 player, trying to ignore her friend's remark. Phoebe noticed it, and scoffed. Helga really was uninterested at her story at all. She then tried to forget the whole thing and let her mind wandered off. In school, there was already an Anime Club by the time she entered high school. And since her interest in anime was increasingly burgeoning, would it be wise for her to join the club? It purely based on interest and non-profit, so she thought there was nothing to lose.

"Helga, do you join any clubs in school?" Phoebe asked her.

"Hmm… aside from having a job as the head editor for the crappy school paper I'm doing… no. I mean, think about it, every time some wannabe journalist reported some stupid crap like about how Rhonda Lloyd is advocating Democrats makes me wanna puke. Why can't they pick some other interesting stories like 'Poverty situation in school' or 'Poor equipments in Science Lab are to blame for constant explosion' or something? But _noooooooo_, they just had to pick Rhonda, the most popular girl in school. What a bunch of attention 'grabbers'. And I _have_ to force myself to read those trashy articles because I'm the head editor! If it wasn't for the ethical codes, I would've burn those articles with a blowtorch, stomp them repeatedly and scatter their ashes to the wind right now."

Phoebe raised an eyebrow at her friend, "Are you done spiting off Rhonda, Helga?"

She shrugged, "Pretty much, yeah. So what's your problem? Why did you ask me that? You joined the Dueler's Club, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but I feel I need to expand, something that involves hobbies and such. I think I want to join the school's Anime Club, Helga." The Anime Club was also one of the very few high school anime clubs in the city.

Helga was stunned and stopped jogging as Phoebe continued on, leaving her behind. Her eye left twitched uncontrollably. "Why?" Helga asked disbelievingly as she spread her arms. She then started running again trying to catch up with Phoebe.

"Well…"Phoebe replied, "I have a new interest now, and perhaps by joining the club I could share my passion for it to the people who are likeminded as me."

"_Passion?" _Helga raised an eyebrow, _"Man, she _really_ has gone to the deep end." _She thought, "Hey, you do whatever you like Pheebs, just don't drag me along to those verily…" she paused awhile trying to think a suitable word to describe those people. Weird, yes. Insane, yes. Psychotic, yes. Creepy, yes. Eccentric, yep. And she chose the last word since she wouldn't want to offend her friend, "…Eccentric individuals."

Phoebe comprehended her friend's unenthusiastic reply. Maybe it just wasn't her thing. It would be pointless for Phoebe to venture further to invite her friend into the club she was contemplating to join. "Well Helga, I'm disappointed that you don't share the same sentiment as I do, but I will go anyway and join them."

"Suit yourself. You're ain't gonna see Helga G. Pataki anytime soon joining those kind of clubs." Suddenly a football hit the side of her head and she fell down.

"Kyaaaah! Helga!" Phoebe shouted in shock as she placed both of her fists just below her chin.

"Oh crap!" someone shouted, "Dude, you just hit Helga on the head!" Park shouted to someone.

"Aw, man! Why does it _have_ to be Helga?" Gerald said frightfully. Helga had this reputation of always kicking the crotch of her male friend when they made her angry and stuff. And they couldn't fight back due to reasons obviously known. That would be the reason why guys were scared of her.

"Harold! Go over to her and— Harold?" Sid saw Harold already in the distance, running away quickly from the scene.

"I swear I'll get the guy who did that to me!" Helga shouted angrily as she got up, with the help from Phoebe. "I swear to EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY I will get him!"

**IV**

Phoebe tried to find the location of the Anime Club that Eugene sketched a small map on a piece of paper she was holding. It leaded to the computer room. And there was something written on the paper that instructed to her that she could only go there only in the specific time given. She was skeptical about it. Was Eugene playing tricks on her? But then she thought, Eugene had a reputation of being such a nice guy, and he wouldn't do such a thing like that to her. So she arrived at the mentioned place and stood in front of the door. After building some courage, she gave a soft knock on the door. A gravely "Come in," was heard. It was probably Eugene playing around her, she thought and she opened the door.

The room was large in size, brightly lit, with bookcases to the right, a small television at the corner of the room next to the window, and a table in the front where there were seven likeminded people like her was talking amongst themselves, reading _manga_ and _doujinshi_ and playing a board game called RISK©. And they were all male. Phoebe then closed the door behind her and the sound it made alerted the guys in front of her. They turned to the door, and they were completely stunned.

"A FEMALE?" somebody said incredulously.

"ENTERING OUR LITTLE CONGREGATION?" another one said.

"THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!" he shouted as he stood, raising both of his hands. Phoebe widened her eyes in horror and jiggled around the doorknob behind her to open it and ran away from this horrifying place.

"Relax, Phoebe. Eugene told us you'd be coming today." The person who rose up from his seat said, laughing. "We're just jest with ya." And the whole room exploded with laughter as Phoebe laughed back embarrassedly. Then four girls came from their hiding behind the bookcases and joined the laughter. They seemed to be a laid-back, friendly bunch, Phoebe thought to herself.

"Hi, I'm the President of the Anime Club." He introduced to Phoebe. They shook hands.

"But the official name for this club is called 'Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture'; just to keep the soccermoms away from pestering us." The person next to the President added as he clicked his tongue.

"Hi, it's good to see there's yet another girl who's into this madness." One of the girls joked and she introduced herself, "I'm into cosplaying. Actually, all the four of us are into cosplaying. The guys don't like cosplaying much since they prefer to be on the sidelines and watch, 'cept for that guy." She pointed to a guy behind Phoebe, "he's into _cross_playing." Phoebe widened her eyes in horror.

"Yeah, people tend to see me as weird, but in truth, I'm just having fun." The guy who loved crossplay said, smiling at Phoebe.

After the warm welcomed she received from everyone, she then began to explore the computer room. The fanboys/girls gave her a few ring files with lots of burned anime CDs in it. "My goodness, is this all of your collection?" The collection was big enough to impress her.

"Not really. We have plenty more at our houses, since we really don't bring our stuff here, due to security concerns."

"I see…" she replied back, smiling. "So, which one of you know Eugene?"

"That'd be me." The guy who loved to crossplay said. "Actually, all of us are. He's a member of our club too."

"Yeah, he is the one who introduced me to these things. At first I was indifferent to this club since I never really like anime much but after Eugene introduced me to them, I became hooked. I never knew anime would be this much fun."

"Was Eugene the first person that got you familiarized with these things?" one of the girls asked her.

"No… actually, I played console RPGs beforehand, so I have at least a little bit knowledge about anime, but I'm not full-blown fan back then."

"Well you're among friends now, and in here we call ourselves _otakus_." The President smiled to her. "So if you want to borrow some anime shows from us, feel free to ask. Would you like to join us in playing a resounding game of RISK©? Or would you like to partake in a resounding conversation of debating the philosophical nature of _Neo Evangetiger_?"

"Umm…" Phoebe tried to contemplate. Then suddenly a painful, shrieking noise was heard outside of the computer room. Most of them were surprised by the noise and wanted to find out what actually happened outside. So one of them opened the door and saw Harold holding a hand in between his legs trying to hold the excruciating pain. They also saw Helga walking away with a satisfied smirk across her face, with some shadows obscuring it. Harold was lying on his side while holding his crotch, trying to bear the agonizing pain. He then released a pain-retching shout of hurtfulness out loud, "HOLY NUTS!"

People who stood around him sympathized, and yet there were a few jerks that couldn't stop laughing. Sid and Park who just so happened to walk by the crowd and saw Harold writhing on the floor in pain. Helga must've got her revenge, they both thought as they cringe at the thought of him getting his crotch kicked by Helga. Then the both of them helped him get up and brought him to the nurse's office.

**V**

A couple of weeks later, Helga began to suspect that Phoebe might have been avoiding her lately, though she wouldn't presume that her new interest was the reason behind their somewhat fractured friendship. It was lunch hour in school and Phoebe wasn't at their usual meeting place – her locker.

"She must've gone to the bathroom or something…" she said to herself, shrugging. She felt mighty hungry right now, so she walked over to the cafeteria alone without her best friend. She kinda felt awkward and stuff since Phoebe wasn't next to her listening to her rant and vent. But then she saw her best man, Gerald, looking just as confused as she was as he scratched the back of his head, as if he was looking for something. Or rather, some_one_. He then saw Helga in front of him and stopped at his tracks.

"Pheebs ain't at her locker, ain't it?" Helga said to him.

"Yeah…" he replied back, "I've been wondering about it too." And they then walked with each other. It was kind of surprising that they were actually talking without exchanging snide sarcastic banters to each other. Yes, thought they weren't as hostile as Helga was with Rhonda, but the indifference between them always kept them from being… nice, to put it simply.

"So what's got into that girl?" Gerald asked her, "I rarely see her nowadays." He shook his head, "But when I got the chance to meet her, she said she's just a'right, and took off. I've never seen her like that before."

"Amazing, Gerald, amazing." Helga nodded, "I've never seen you so concerned about her wellbeing before." Which also perplexed her because if they were this intimate, why were they still in denial about their relationship?

"Has she been taking some questionable substances lately?" Gerald made a moot guess.

"Phoebe? Haha!" Helga laughed, "That's funny! You're funny! Knowing her, I don't think she's going to touch that stuff in a million years."

"So if you know her so much, could you at least tell me what's happening to Phoebe?" Gerald asked her as he pushed the cafeteria doors away to get in. They stopped at their tracks just as soon as they saw her sitting at the table with her new set of cliques.

"Well Gerald my man, I guess that answers your question." Helga smiled snidely at him.

"Oh, she's hanging out with Eugene… and his weird friends." he said in relief, "I think no harm will come to her." he said to calm himself up. But it was a different tale in his heart, where jealousy slowly began to develop. But then again, he was jealous of Eugene? The very thought amused him. Eugene had this reputation of being such a nice guy, that nobody would ever thought of him to be the despicable person who backstabbed you and left you behind to die. He trusted Eugene. Phoebe was just probably being nice to him and his friends. And if the attitudes of Eugene's friends were just as same as his, then he had nothing to worry about.

He let a big sigh of relief out, and smiled. Then somebody smacked his back, and said to him, "Dude, so when Phoebe ignores you, you go to some other chick? Man, aren't you a playa?" Robert said playfully.

"Would you like to feel a high degree of pain in between your legs, Rob?" Helga turned to him and scowled at him. "I would gladly volunteer to show you how it feels like."

"Man, Helga." Robert replied back, "The thing that you did to Harold couple of weeks ago was totally uncalled for. The football _accidentally_ hit your head, you know. It's not like he did it intentionally."

"Well, if it _was _an accident, don't you think he should come over to me and apologize instead of running away like someone who just committed murder?"

"Still, what you did to him was unjustifiable." He shook his head, as Gerald nodded his head to concur with him, "A word of advice Helga, maybe Arnold is right: you should try to be nicer from time to time."

Helga was stunned. Why the heck was Arnold brought into this? "What the…?" he raised an eyebrow, "What's the Football Head got to do with this?"

"Heh, look at that." Gerald said to Robert, smiling while pointing to Helga with his thumb, "She still uses that old grade school moniker she used to call him." the both of them chuckled. Helga looked at the both of them irritably.

"Well Helga," Robert replied, smiling at her, "Arnold is the only person I know that can deal with you in a more 'professional' way," he made quotation fingers, which he wanted to kick himself for doing that, "so to speak. He gives you advice, he talks to you with a calm and content face, almost like a saint— and you, would most likely follow his advice, of all people."

"And besides," Gerald added, "if he's still around here instead of being in San Lorenzo, he'd save us most of the trouble, because he's your favorite target!" he smiled snidely at him.

"Ah… good ol' Arnold." Robert looked upwards, sighed in a satisfied sigh-like quality to it, as he reminisce the memories. He then wrapped his hand around Gerald's shoulder and walk away, leaving Helga behind in _**X**TREME_ irritation, holding her anger in.

"What they say is true, Helga." Somebody said behind her. She turned around and saw Rhonda looking at her with an evil-like smirk. "What I've seen and observe, you've always been weak around Arnold. Oh, don't retort to me that you always scowled and threatened him when he talked to you. I mean, when _was_ the last time you actually hit him? Never, M I RITE? He isn't intimidated by you at all. In fact, in my opinion, I think you're the one who is intimidated by him."

Helga's face was reddened with anger and rage. Nadine, who was sitting with Rhonda, could feel the electricity of _**X**TREME _anger came from Helga, but Rhonda remained oblivious about it. Nadine quickly lifted her lunch tray up and fled away from the table. Rhonda was all alone now, continuing to smile sardonically at him. "And besides, Helga, I don't think you're angry at Gerald and Robbie right now. You're just angry 'cause your best friend is hanging out with some other people and leaving you behind." That comment was the last straw. Helga then grabbed the unfinished carton of milk from Rhonda's tray and poured all of its contents on her.

"AHHH! EWW!" Rhonda shouted in disgust as everyone in the cafeteria looked at them. After the carton was empty she coolly threw it to Rhonda on the face.

"Your opinions are ugly and wrong, _wench_." Helga said irately, as Rhonda gazed at her homicidally as she exhaled through her clenched teeth, _**X**TREMELY _furious at what she did to her. Helga then turned around and left her, but just as soon as that, Rhonda jumped on her and a fight ensued.

"Another day, another Rhonda-Helga fight." Sid said with a satisfied smile as he watched them fighting from afar with the companions of his friends. "Life just doesn't get any better than this."

"Hear, hear." All of them nodded approvingly.

"Man, I love this school…" Sid said again, smiling. Then a teacher came rushing to them and broke the fight up, and it ended almost immediately.

"Aw, for crying out loud, not you two _AGAIN_!"

Amidst the fiasco, Gerald again looked at Phoebe back, and saw her looking at Helga worriedly as she had her hand over her mouth in shock. Even though his worries were diminished after he learned she was only hanging out with Eugene, another of his good friends, he still was concerned a little bit. He could feel a little bit of déjà vu. Phoebe's actions were completely parallel with his actions when he was in fourth grade, obsessive over a hobby that it fractured his friendship with Arnold. He wouldn't want something similar to happen to Phoebe. He must consult with Helga after this.

**VI**

_Kimi no yume ga kanau no wa  
dareka no kage janai ze  
kaze no tsuyoi hi wo era nde  
hashitte kita_

There was nothing but silence in the computer room, as everyone minded their own business. But the image of Helga fighting Rhonda couple of days ago still lingered in their mind. The _otakus_ then looked at Phoebe while she was reading a _manga_. She then felt uneasy, like she was being watched or something. She looked around, while not moving her head and the _manga_ away, and saw everybody in the room staring at her, in a disbelief-like gaze. She tried to ignore it, but couldn't. With an annoyed tone, she lowered the book down and said to all of them, "_NANI_… _Ittai nani o kangate iru no ka?_" she said through her clench teeth. Every now and then a usually calm girl like her would release her anger once in a while.

The people in the room looked at each other, and were quite reluctant to answer back. Then they all looked at Eugene since he was the one knew Phoebe the most, but he shook his head and pointed to the President. The President let out a nervous sigh, and asked Phoebe:

"We've been wondering… are you really Helga's best friend…?"

Phoebe raised eyebrow, "_Hai_…" she replied back, asking herself why they were asking this question. "Why do you ask?"

The President looked at his friends, and replied," Uh… nothing. She's just… very different from you…" Phoebe rolled her eyes.

After that, one of the cosplay girls asked, "Phoebe-san, uh… there's an Anime convention this weekend at the Convention Center, would you like to come?"

She beamed back, "I'd love to! Maybe I'll try cosplaying as well!"

Everyone's face brightened, "Really? Omigosh, that'd be _so_ cool! Do you have any ideas of what character are you going to cosplay?"

"I don't know, but these past few days, I've narrowed down to two decisions, _Fuu_ from _Samurai Shampoo_ and _Haruko_ from _Fool's Cool_."

"Phoebe-chan, you really should go with _Fuu!" _Eugene said to her, "You already have the natural hair color but I think finding a _yukata_ would be problem for you…"

"Eugene, do not fret, I already own a _yukata_ that I wear for the _Bon Odori_ festival that I go annually with my parents. Yeah, and I believe you are right, Eugene… maybe I do look good as _Fuu_." Phoebe smiled at them. Then the bell rang. "Oh, I got to go. I have class right now. _Itte rasshai_!" she waved at them, and the otakus replied back with a "_Itte mairimasu_!" and "_Ki o tsukete_!" collectively as they waved back to Phoebe. She then exited the computer room, and ran into Helga.

"_WHOA_!" she shouted back in shock as she darted backwards away from her. Some of Helga's books and papers dropped on the floor. She had a sort of a culture shock look on her face. She hadn't seen her in days, but Helga was very surprised to see Phoebe changed drastically in her appearance in the very short period of time. She was wearing this really _J-pop-ish_ outfit, nearly in a _kogal_ like appearance, similar to the _Puffy Amy Yummy _girls. No wonder everyone in Anime Club stared her in disbelief, but it was oblivious to Phoebe. Phoebe then quickly came to Helga and helped her out.

"Pheebs… what the heck happened to you?" she asked disbelievingly as she picked her paperwork up.

"Don't you like my new appearance?" she answered back at her nonchalantly.

"Man… you've been totally brainwashed…" Helga replied as she looked her. "This is getting _way_ out of hand. You're totally obsessed, Phoebe."

She then glared at her, "Helga, I'm surprised you're not being more understanding." she said as she gave her the final piece of paper. She then walked over to her locker as Helga followed her from behind.

"Not being more _UNDERSTANDING_? Phoebe, look at _you_!" she yelled back, throwing her arms in front of her, "A few days ago the Phoebe I know would never succumb and emulate things from popular culture because she likes to be herself. But now, what I see in front of my eyes is a total opposite of that person! You've changed from watching those cartoons, Pheebs."

"It's not cartoons, Helga!" She spat back, "It's A-NI-ME!"

"You think I give a crap about how's it pronounced? Your obsession gets the best of you, man! And I see you've been avoiding me lately, going to that computer class doing…" she paused for a moment since she didn't know what Phoebe was doing inside, "whatever _stuff_ that I don't even want know about!"

"What's so wrong if I just so happened to be active in the anime club? You think you can dictate my life and expected me to follow you around the whole time?" she replied back with rage.

"No, Pheebs!" Helga spat back, "I'm just concerned that you're being very militant in your obsession!"

"_Baka_! I'm not being confrontational in defending my hobby!" she replied back angrily. "With you continuously condemning it I feel obligated to defend it from a narrow-minded person such as yourself!"

Helga was shocked at the final remark. She tried to counter it back as she pointed her index finger to her menacingly, but she withdrew it back. She was defeated, and she felt all hope was lost for her friend. "You know what? _Fine_!" she spread her arm wide, "I'm just trying to help, Pheebs. Gerald was right, you really have changed." She then gave her a final glare and abruptly left her. Phoebe on the other hand, was stunned. Gerald actually said that about her?

So after school, Helga was seen walking alone from school. After the spat with Phoebe just now, she felt that that she should stay away from her for a while, and let things cool off a little. Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe she was being a narrow-minded person for not liking Phoebe's new appearance. The last thing she would want was a fractured friendship with her best friend.

"Hey…" someone said to her, and she turned around. It was Gerald.

"Oh, it's you. Sup'?" she then let Gerald walk with her.

"How come you're not taking the bus home?" Gerald asked her.

"I don't know. How come _you're_ not taking the bus home?" she asked back.

"Thought you might need company, since Phoebe isn't here with you right now."

"Oh yeah, thanks a lot." She replied sarcastically. "I feel so much better now."

Gerald chuckled a bit, "Still surprised at Pheebs? I could relate. She's been avoiding me too."

"That's because she hates you." She replied back jokingly. Gerald gave her a smile.

"So I overheard you and Phoebe fighting in the hallway a few hours back—"

"Stalker…" she interjected.

Gerald still smiled at her, "I think you really should do something about her, girl. The same thing happened to me when I was in the fourth grade, obsessing with _The King Rules_. But I still do playing it though, but not as fanatical as I used to be."

"Man… a cool, laid-back, popular guy like you played a nerdy card game like that? That pretty much shattered every perception I have about you, man."

"Girl, a lot of cool guys play nerdy games too." He replied back coolly, "Like _Vin Petrol_, he's a _Mazes and Monsters_ fan and he's not ashamed to admit it."

"I don't like where this conversation is going. What's the point you're trying to prove here?" Helga asked him.

"I was going to tell you a story about a kid who got _so _obsessed with his card game that he nearly lost a good friend of his. But then you diverted the conversation to something else."

"Oh, please _do_ tell me about the kid. I assume it has witty anecdotes with moral values in it."

Gerald smiled at her and started the story, "So, there was once upon a time where there was this one kid," he referred to himself in third person, "who got so obsessed with a popular card game that he ditched and avoided his best friend for weeks just to fulfill his addiction. He went to some obscure place in and deal—"

"Are we still talking about card games here?" Helga raised an eyebrow, thinking about something else. Addiction? Obscure place? Dealing? Sounded pretty much like something else to her.

"Yes, it's still about card games man, so don't interrupt." He replied back, with a soft scoff, "And deal cards with his ragtag group of mischief, whilst wearing renaissance clothing."

"Sounds 'sexy'."

"He became The King, the best card player there was. He became obsessed so much that he wouldn't want his title to be dethroned by someone else. So he began to play cards all day all the time, honing skills and whatnot, leaving no room for him to hang out with his friends."

"Somehow, I can see your story is being connected to my situation right now…" she replied back sarcastically.

"His best friend then realized it, and decided that he should help him with his addiction. So he learned the rules of the game by himself, and met him in a duel of epic proportions. He put the final cards down, deliberately wanting himself to lose, just to see whether his best friend would want to humiliate him. If he lost, he'd be the court jester running in his underwear as a punishment for losing. This produced moral conflict on The King."

"Elvis?" she guessed playfully.

"No, no. The King of the card game. So his best friend said to The King, 'Pull back? Why should I pull back? I already lost my best friend to this card game. I mean, it's just a game, right?'" he made an Arnold impersonation, "So then The King realized that his best friend was right the whole time, he got too obsessed with it that it took a toll on his friendship."

"So what did The King do?"

"I calmly got up, and shook his hands, and left the place with him. Arnold was right: getting too fanatical and obsessive can be hazardous. And I'm thankful to have a friend that would never give up on me. That's why Helga, I think you really need to try and help Phoebe."

"There's no way I'm ever going to beat her at her own game. The situation just doesn't call for me to do that. 'Sides, I look hideous wearing the same thing that Phoebe's wearing."

"No, knowing you, it'd be the best to do the Helga G. Pataki way." He smiled at her. "I'll gladly help you if you ever need one since I'm really concerned about her too."

"Ah, something that I would concur. It's my way, or the highway." She smiled at him back. "Hey, we're passing by Mr. Simmons' home. Wanna go in and pay him a visit?"

"Yeah, his tea is tight, yo."

**VII**

So on the morning during the weekends, Helga went over to Phoebe's house to help her, since she felt that talking to her face-to-face was more meaningful than saying it through the phone. So she knocked the door and waited for someone to answer it. After a few seconds, Phoebe's mother showed up in front of her.

"Ah, Helga." She said in her Southern accent, "Pretty mighty early fur ya to see Phoebe today."

"Is she still asleep, Mrs. Hyerdahl?" Helga asked.

"Naw, she was wide awake by the time I got up. Come on in. She's in her room right now."

"Thanks." Helga nodded, and went in.

"Would ya lak some breakfast, hun?"

"I already had breakfast, Mrs. H, but thanks anyway." Helga replied back as she made her way to Phoebe's room. She could hear a Japanese song coming from upstairs. In the room, Phoebe was posing in front of her mirror wearing the _yukata _(summer kimono). It looked and had the same color as the character she wanted to cosplay in. She looked absolutely stunning in that traditional garment. Suddenly she heard the knock on the door.

"Come in," she replied, and to her shock, it was Helga. Helga was also stunned to see her wearing that dress.

Helga widened her eyes in shock, "Oh… my…"

"Helga?" she replied in shock, "What… what are you…"

"You look _gorgeous_!" A smile was carved on Helga's face. Phoebe was stunned at the remark. She thought that Helga would throw a fit at her for wearing that dress to go cosplaying. Maybe Helga didn't know what was her real intention was. What Helga don't know, don't hurt.

"Yes… yes." Phoebe replied back stammering, smiling nervously at her. "I do look stunning in this traditional outfit, don't I?"

Helga then walked over to her, "Man, you're _beautiful_, Pheebs!" she said as she held the dress and checking it, "But what's the occasion?"

Phoebe went pale when she heard that. She could feel the colors flushed out from her face. She didn't want Helga to know that she wanted to go cosplaying since she knew Helga wouldn't approve that sort of thing. "I'm… going to a… _Bon Odori_ festival… yeah. To accompany my family." She was being hopeful that Helga would go away and leave her alone after this.

Helga raised an eyebrow, "but you said to me the Bon Festival is supposed to be on August. This is September."

"_Why can't she just shut up and go home already?"_ "They were… uh…" she stuttered, "They had to hold it back a month late due to the lack of sponsorship."

"Oh, I guess it's okay then." Phoebe was relieved to hear that from Helga. "Wait a second… isn't it supposed to start at late afternoon?"

Phoebe widened her eyes in shock, "Um…" she hesitated as she tried to find an answer, "What's wrong with giving it a head start? I want to prepare early for the occasion." She asked back, rather impatiently.

Helga nodded, and replied, "Ah… hey Pheebs, I originally came here to talk about you about your obsession lately—"

Suddenly Eugene burst into her room, since he saw her door was left opened, "Hey Pheebs, ready to go cosplaying?" he asked as he unzipped his bag, revealing a reddish clothe. "But first, I want your opinion about the dress I'm going to wear…" he stopped at his tracks upon seeing Helga in front of him.

"_Dress_?" Helga raised an eyebrow in a suspicious gaze at him. Eugene cowered back in fear. She looked at Phoebe again, she lowered her head in embarrassment. "This isn't about the Bon Festival, is it Pheebs?" she asked her accusingly. Phoebe didn't answer her back. Helga scoffed and glared back at Eugene. "You're going to the Convention Center, aren't you?"

"No… n-no we d-don't…" Eugene replied back fearfully.

"Yeah, right Eugene. I saw your username on some message board that you're going to an Anime convention or whatever—and planning to wear a frikken dress."

"It's probably some other Eujinx, Helga…" he replied back, trying to defend himself, futilely at that. Eujinx was Eugene's internet handle.

"Give me your bag." She asked him as she motioned her hand to ask Eugene to give her his backpack.

"Heck no." Eugene replied back. If his secret were revealed, he'd be the laughingstock in the entire school.

"Give me that!" Helga replied back as she snatched the bag away from Eugene. Eugene was too scared to take it back. Helga unzipped the bag and shocked to see what Eugene had brought along with him. She had her jaw dropped to ground as she took the garment out from the bag and spread it open. "THIS. IS. A FRIKKEN. DRESS!" she shouted out loud. Eugene was already reddened in embarrassment. The dress looked similar to that of _Madison Kinomoto's _dress in _Card Capturer Madison_. "And you're wearing _THIS _to the convention, Eugene?" she asked him disbelievingly.

After a lengthy pause, Eugene softly replied, "Y-yes…"

At this point, Helga really wanted to put a gun in her mouth. She threw the dress away to Eugene and turned around to face Phoebe, "You're obsessed, Phoebe! If you want to go along with this charade, avoiding me, Gerald and anyone else just because of your excessive fascination of these… things, then go ahead! I think I already lose a best friend because of this." She shook her head, reiterating the words that Gerald just said to her a few days ago. "Good day Pheebs. And good luck with your hobby." She turned around and left her. But before she exited the room, she looked at Eugene, and pointed a finger in front of him. "And you… you are a sad guy wearing a dress…" and then she left the room, slamming the door.

Both of them now felt really guilty after hearing that from Helga. Phoebe especially. Before her obsession with anime, she was pretty much of an outgoing person, welcoming to her friends and never really did go overboard. But now, due to her militancy of anime, she was a complete polar opposite of her former self. Helga and Gerald were right. She became too obsessed of her new interest that it took a toll on her relationship with Gerald and Helga. She needed to seek help. "Helga, wait!" she ran out to catch with Helga, as she accidentally pushed Eugene away.

"I'm okay…"

**VIII**

_Then she came to me and asked me to help her out with her obsession. I wasn't convinced, since I thought she was beyond help. Then I remember the story that Gerald told me that you never give up on helping people out. That is so typical of you, Football Head. So the very afternoon, me and Gerald was in her room, trying to do the best that we could to help her. I think I should spare you the details, since I know you and Gerald write letters to each other a lot. He could fill you in with it. As for Eugene, he stopped doing what he's doing and his obsession became more underground lately. Maybe it was because of the utter humiliation that I delivered to him. Or maybe he already knew I'd blackmail him, telling the whole school that he wears a dress. But I think he's missing one crucial thing that would lead me to blackmail him: evidence._

_Do you think I should be nicer? People have been asking to me a lot about it lately. You think I'm too… 'bad' per se? I don't know, but I like being what I am right now. I just need your humble opinion regarding it. Well, I think this be the end of the letter for me. I hope your interest isn't as militant as Phoebe was with her._

_Sayonara Arnold-san,  
Helga._

Helga then looked at her letter again, and read it. She was very amused by it, reading what happened to her and Phoebe these past few weeks. She knew that she didn't have the guts to send it Arnold, so she just folded the paper and made it into a paper airplane. She tossed it around the room, and after she got tired of it, she unfolded it back and put it into her binder, along with other letters that she wrote to Arnold. She then went back to closet and opened it. She let a soft smile out and said to herself, "Eh, what the heck. I guess I should revisit the good old days for old time's sake." So she went back to her desk and took a pen and a little pink book where she hadn't use it ever since she bought it from a stationary store years ago. She stepped into the room, and closed the door.

She switched the light bulb above her and realized that she grew too big to sit on the floor! So she opened the closet again, let her legs stretched out and began writing some romantic poetry about Arnold. Apparently her obsession for that lovely blonde football shaped head still hadn't eluded her.

* * *

I hate all of the animes mentioned in this fic, except for **_Samurai Champloo_** and _**FLCL **_in scene VI. Those shows rocked. What's with cosplay bashing you ask? Well, it's about this one guy called Man-Faye, and my eyes instantaniously burn and bleed and I have to wash them with bleach to clean the horrible images out from my eyes upon seeing his pics. He's the one who made me not fond of cosplaying. Ugh... Oh, about the Japanese words... well, the words are common around anime fanpeople and I borrowed a book from the library called 'Common Japanese Phrases' to help me with some of the dialogue. If you still don't understand the words, Google would be your best bet now. Well, thanks for reading and leave a review, and sorry for the lack of updates.  



	6. Ep6: Helga Gets a Job

_Author's Note: _I'd like to thank _Houkanno Yuuhou _for informing me about this plotline in his/her review of the first episode of fic. I'd also like to apologize for the lateness of updating this fic, because I was too preoccupied with 'Run'. In this story, Helga has some money problem and she has to work, and she landed a job at Arnold's boarding house after hours upon hours of job hunting. Consider her lucky, I guess. Well, here it is.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 6: Helga Gets a Job

**I**

Helga trudged boringly to her house after a long, tedious day at school. The can that she had been kicking continuously from five blocks away had a lot of dents on it due to her continuous kicking. At least today she wouldn't have to go to work since her employer insisted that she should take a day off, to – according to him, clear her head off for a while. She appreciated it, and felt that it was a compensation for her tiring day at school today. Approaching her house, she saw Harvey stood in front of the front door as he opened his bag and rummaged through it.

"Hi Harv." She greeted. "A little bit too late to deliver letters at this time of hour, don't you think?" she said jovially.

"Hey Helga." Harvey replied back, smiling, "There was a software glitch at the sorting system earlier today, and we had to restart the process all over again." He explained his unpunctuality to her, "So on behalf of the United States Postal Service, I apologize for any inconvenience that we may have caused. Oh and here are your letters."

Helga then took the letters from him and mouthed "Thanks," softly at him. She then shuffled the letters over, and found most them uninteresting. There was a collection of bills, a chain letter for Bob which he'd most likely going torch it with the stove, and an Avonne catalogue for Miriam, which Helga laughed a little inside her heart upon looking at it. The last letter caught her attention, as it was the most fascinating of them all. Arnold sent a letter to him. "Hey look at this man," Helga showed Harvey the letter, "I got another letter from Arnold."

Harvey took it from Helga and gazed it with a soft smile, "Oh man. It has been a long time now, hasn't it? This place has been kinda dull ever since he left to…" he looked at the stamp because he did not remember which country Arnold moved in to, "San Lorenzo." He then gave her the letter back.

"Yeah…" Helga replied weakly, beginning to miss him, but then she snapped back, "Ah, who cares about him anyway. I'm glad he's thousands of miles away from this place."

Harvey chuckled back, "Girl, I can't believe you still don't like him after all these years. You're not kids anymore, man. Give him a chance. He's just trying to be friendly. No need to be angry just because he likes to write letter to you." He then looked at his watch, "Ah, I've got to go. I still have eight more blocks to cover." Helga responded with a nod, and Harvey walked away from her house, "See ya later, Helga."

"Yeah… see ya." Helga waved weakly at him. "I'm not angry Harv… I'm actually very, very happy." She said softly to herself, as if she wanted to reply back to him. After a deep sigh, Helga went into her house and put all the letters except the one from Arnold next to the phone, where letters to the Patakis always end up after they were shoved into the mail slot at the door. Apparently none of the Patakis could stand letters lying about in front of the door. As Helga walked to her room, she tore the Arnold letter and began to read it.

_Dear Helga,_

_Hi, it's me again, Arnold. I hope I'm not interrupting anything you're doing right now as you read this letter._

"Nah, I got all the free time that I want. Go on." She said with a smile, as if she wanted to tell him through the letter.

_How are you? What have you been doing these past few weeks? Well, ultimately my questions won't be answered though, since you never reply to me._

"And I'm really sorry for that…" Helga said back with a dismal tone. "I guess… I'm just too weak…"

_But still, I'll continue to write to you though, because that's what I do. You're my friend Helga._

Helga smiled broadly, hoping that someday the both of them will step out from the friend zone and into a more intimate relationship together. She walked into her room, put her backpack on the floor next to her bed and took a seat at her desk.

_And as a friend, I'm going to tell you what has happened to me in these past few days. As of right now, I'm starting my new job at the local airport with the United Nations as my employer. Not that I'm in a dire need of a job though, it's just a volunteer work to kill time here. My job prescription is to load and unload cargo on and off of an airplane and into trucks so they could send them to the needy. Sounds boring, isn't it? And it's kind of eerie too, considering that I could remember doing something like this in a nightmare I had when I was nine. And I swear you have nothing to do with it._

"Yeah, right." Helga scoffed, smiling. She imagined Arnold's nightmare would be something like her being the Queen of All Cosmos and ordered Arnold to roll things up and put them on the sky or into a warehouse or something.

_My dad told me about this job, and advised me to take it. It's nice to know that I'm giving a helping hand to help this country. Before this, I usually followed my dad to the excavation site and learn a thing or two about the Green-Eyed People or just being a slacker at the house. Speaking of jobs, I heard from Gerald that you just started working at the boarding house, is it true? When I heard it from him for the first time, I was in disbelief. No offence, but it's hard to imagine you helping my grandparents out. Still, it's good to hear that they finally have a helping hand, considering age is taking a toll on their health. Thank you so much Helga for helping them out. _

"You're welcome." Helga replied softly, smiling.

_So before I say goodbye, I would like to give you some pointers to make your life easier there: 1) If the boarders, _especially_ Mr. Kokoshka told you that they have no money to pay the rent for a specific month, tell them that they only have a week to settle their rent, or the rent will be doubled – and it will be doubled on the next consecutive week, and so far, so forth. 2) I think you've noticed it, but we don't put cleaning tools in the broom closet. Mops, brooms and whatever are being kept in the laundry room next to washing machine #3. And finally, 3) Be on time for lunch/dinner et cetera! The boarding house has this unwritten rule that everyone must be at the dining table or nobody will get to eat._

Helga then opened her laptop and looked at her download that she started it this morning. It was halfway done.

_I hope all these would be beneficial to you, as I have done my best to inform you regarding it. Thank you for reading Helga. _

_Yours truly,_

_Arnold._

Helga then placed the letter next to her laptop as she opened her web browser. The first thing she did was checking her email, and to her surprise, there were ten unread letters, twice than the average quota that she received in a day. She decided not to read them but instead, clicked on the 'Compose Mail' link to begin writing a reply to Arnold, even though she knew she wouldn't actually reply to him anyway.

_Hello fellow friend called Arnold,_

_I just got your letter, and to tell ya the truth, I'm happy that you've written to me. So I see the old Football Head is up to his old hijinks huh? Helping people out without being asked? Typical of you man. Not that I'm complaining though since that is one of your traits that people like about you. To answer your question, yeah, I am working with your grandparents right now but unlike you, I need the money. Your grandparents are awfully nice to give me this job with adequate pay to boot. I actually just started early this month, back when I was desperate in search for cash. I can remember it vividly, it was…_

**II**

"Money I owe Phoebe…" Helga said to herself as she counted her spending whilst writing them on a piece of paper, "And some stuff I owe Olga… Oh crud! I'm still in the red." She threw her pen on her desk in aggravation that her money still wasn't enough to pay her debts. After taking long, deep breath, she threw her body back to the chair and stared at the ceiling, thinking where she could get some money. As she thought, she could hear someone walking past her room. She turned around and saw Bob.

Should she take the gamble and asked him nicely to raise her allowance?

"Oh man, I can't believe it!" he said happily as he took a seat in front of the TV, armed with the remote control. "They're showing the season finale of 'Misplaced' today! Now I'm going to know what's going to happen to Sawyer!" After minutes of watching it, and during the scene where the airplane crash survivors were eating corn, he remembered something, and immediately smacked his forehead, "Oh crud! How could I forget popcorn! And now I'm going to miss the good part!" with extreme annoyance, he reluctantly got up from his seat and walked away from the TV while still looking at it.

"Hey dad…"

Bob turned around, and saw Helga holding a bowl of popcorn, a bag of potato chips, and two bottles of Yahoos while grinning broadly at him. He smiled at her, and said, "Gee, thanks Helga!" he grabbed them all from her, and walked back to his seat as Helga followed him from behind, "I didn't know you're so—" Bob suddenly stopped, noticing something peculiar about Helga's sudden kindness. "Hey… what are you trying to pull?"

"Why, nothing dad." She replied with a fake smile, "Whatever makes you feel that way? It is wrong for a thoughtful daughter such as myself to shower her father with gratitude by bringing snacks for him to enjoy his favorite TV program?" acting was never Helga's forte. Not after the thing she went through during sixth grade, though.

Bob gazed at her perplexedly with an eyebrow lowered. After staring a Helga for a long time, which made her anxious and sweaty, he then finally understood why she was acting all weird at him, "Forget it Helga. I'm not raising your allowance."

"_Oh crud… he knows my plan…"_ she thought to herself as she sighed in disappointment, "Aw come on dad! I _REALLY_ need the money! _Puh-leeeze…!_"

"And to buy what Helga?" he asked back, "another one of those overpriced music player, isn't it? Or a cellphone maybe?"

"No, not exactly." Helga replied back. "Hmm… come to think of it," she looked up and put her hands on her chin, contemplating about acquiring a new Mp3 player. But, she shook her head and waved both of her hands as to say no, "No, no. C'mon dad, be a team player! I only ask for this once, and I won't ask for it again! C'mon, I really need the money!"

"No!" Bob replied back, issuing his final declaration to her. Helga was terribly disappointed as she looked at him with a sad, defeated gaze. Bob really hated that look since it made him all guilty and such. Helga then slowly walked away. Still, Bob still persisted with his decision, but it'd be the best if he offered his daughter with some advice, "Look Helga…" Bob called her back, and Helga's face brightened up. She thought Bob changed his mind, but actually he didn't. Bob then said, "When Olga was about your age—"

Terrific, not another Olga story again, Helga thought in annoyance as she rolled her eyes up. He really needed to stop comparing her with her sister.

"She too had some money problem like you. But unlike you, she didn't run to me whining to raise her allowance."

Helga was irritated. _"Rub it in, would you?"_

"Instead, she asked me how she can get some money, without your mom's or my help. So I told her, do like what I used to do."

"Pick pocketing?" Helga gave a random, yet sardonic guess.

"What?" he asked, "No! Although it does bring back memories." He then shook his head to snap back, "Uh, what I mean is, work from the ground up. Get a job."

"A job?" Helga replied horrifyingly.

"Yeah, a job." Bob nodded, "You know, "Labor, entering workforce, employment… stuff like that. C'mon Olga—"

"Helga." Helga corrected him back.

"Yeah, what I said. You're old enough to hold that kind of responsibility, girl. And I think it's high time for you to learn it."

**III**

Though disappointed and annoyed at first, Helga heeded to her dad's suggestion. She was inside her room now, contemplating which job should she take. She had listed a number of jobs on a piece of paper, which almost all of them sounded exciting for a person who will enter temporary workforce like herself. All of which would be then narrowed into one. Still, she was very pessimistic in regard of acquiring a job that would fit her well. It was at late night anyway and she decided to think about it later tomorrow. She hit the hay and went to sleep.

_At school…_

"How's the job hunting coming along, Helga?" Phoebe asked her as they headed out to the bus stop.

"I haven't started yet." Helga replied back as she unwrap a chewing gum, "I'm planning to head out to the mall and go job huntin' today, as in right now."

Phoebe was rather displeased upon hearing that, since it might jeopardize her plan, "which mall are you planning of going to?" she asked, hopefully it won't be the same mall she'd be going to.

"I don't know." Helga shrugged, chewing the gum, "Whichever suits me I guess."

"Oh…" Phoebe replied back, worried a bit. Hopefully the both of them wouldn't bump onto each other.

Helga stood in front of one of the most popular mall in town, a place known for its wretched hive of scum and villainy. She must remain cautious as there were some many freaks and bizarre people wander about in this congregation of capitalism. She walked in and began her job hunting, with her eyes wander around in search for a 'Help Wanted' sign in front of a store. She saw one in front of a 'Hot Subject' store, and scoffed at it. There were so many posers shopping in that establishment, that she was revolted at the thought of working there. And what the heck was emo Curly doing inside there? She asked herself as she looked at him with an eyebrow lowered.

She walked further deep into the mall and saw a 'Help Wanted' sign at an 'Avril Comb me with Fish' clothing store with employment details printed all over it. Though she liked the perks, but the wage wasn't good enough for her. And considering that Rhonda would always shop for clothes in this kind of store, she ultimately decided against it. Eventually, she reached a fancy and expensive looking coffee shop. She could see Coffee Boy, formerly known as Chocolate/Radish Boy having a good time sipping coffee with his female friend Campfire Lass – her moniker in grade school. Helga has no idea what people call her as of now. Given the busyness of the shop, Helga felt that it might be hard for her to cope with all of the customers. So she walked away.

Her quest for a job brought her to a computer store. She saw Eugene shopping at that place and was scared at the technical jargon that Eugene and the store employee exchanged. She was overwhelmed because she did not know what the heck they were talking about. So she walked away with haste. Various stores offered many jobs but Helga wasn't a least bit interested about it. She wouldn't want to work at a toy store since she was bad with kids. The video store would be nice, but the hours are a pain. And she couldn't find any jobs at the cinema since they didn't offer any. My word, she was picky. So with a disappointed sigh, she had no choice but to walk out of the mall. She could've sworn she saw Phoebe and Gerald walking hand to hand into a bookstore, but then she shrugged it off and decided to go home, since it getting dark outside.

In the middle of the bus journey, she thought of working at those family established stores lining up at Vine Street. Maybe asking for a job at a friendly establishment like those would enhance her luck. So she stopped the bus and proceeded to the said street, where Mr. Green's Butcher Shop and Mrs. Vitello flower shop resided. Upon reaching Mr. Green's butcher shop, she saw Harold walking out of the store and began sweeping the front. Helga could guess that there weren't any jobs available for her in that store, but she decided to test her luck anyway. "Yo Harold."

"Hey Helga. The store's closed. Come back tomorrow if you want to buy a salami or something." He replied back as he continued sweeping.

"No, it's not like that, man. I'm just wondering if Mr. Green could use some help."

Harold immediately stopped sweeping and looked at her quizzically. After a long pause, he began to snicker, "Are you saying that you want a _job_?" he pointed at her. Helga understood the unsightly expression emerging from his face, and then she decided to walk away, leaving him in disgust as she pushed him away.

"Move aside Harold! You don't have to mock me!"

"Ahahahaha!" Harold laughed at her, "Helga's going job hunting, and fails miserably at it! Ahahaha!"

Ignoring Harold's immature remarks, Helga then proceeded to Mrs. Vitello's.

"I'm sorry sweetie," Mrs. Vitello replied back as she watered her plants, "I would love to hire a helper, but I don't think I have enough money to support more than one worker."

"Oh, come on Mrs. Vitello. I really need the money!" Helga pleaded.

"I'm sorry honey. You just have to find someplace else." She gave Helga a smile.

In defeat, Helga replied back, "Yeah… thanks anyway…" she then walked away weakly from Mrs. Vitello, who couldn't help but to feel sorry for her. After the door was closed, Helga saw Arnold grandpa in front of the boarding house, sweeping the stoop while coughing a hacking cough uncontrollably.

"Ugh… curse this cough." He said, "It's bad enough I'm getting weaker each and everyday." Every one of his words could be heard by Helga clearly, "Oh I wish someone could help me with this…" he then went into the house back. The last sentence that he said made Helga extremely happy. Not only the outlook would be bright, but also she could work in one of the most revered place of them all. Arnold's house.

**IV**

The bell rang, which annoy Phil greatly. "Who the heck is crazy enough to visit us at this time of hour?" he yelled out, and forced himself to greet the person who rang the bell. "GET THE HE—" his angry yelled stopped all of the sudden upon seeing Helga, "—llo there… hey aren't you—"

"Yeah, Arnold's friend." Helga interjected. "So I couldn't help but to hear you need an extra hand around the place." She beamed at him.

"Hmm? When the heck I said that?" Phil asked her again.

"Just now, when you were outside sweeping the stoop." Helga replied back.

"Oh, oh that. Hey…" he looked at her back skeptically, "Were you eavesdropping on me?"

"No sir. I was merely overhearing you." She beamed at him again.

"Ooh, now that's different." He replied back, nodding. Then his expression changed and narrowed his eyes, "No." he sneered, and slammed the door.

"Aw c'mon gramps, I really need the job!" Helga replied back, which could be heard vaguely by grandpa. Grandma then came into view, and walked up to him as she swept the floor.

"What's with the hullabaloo, Phil?" she asked.

"That weird girl with one eyebrow asked me if we could give her job!" Grandpa replied back. "What a crazy idea!"

Hmm… "Grandma replied, deep in thought, "Is it the girl that always gave Arnold a bad time?"

"Uh huh."

"I think you should give her a chance. I think there's more to it than just getting a job." She winked and clicked her tongue as she pointed to a picture of Arnold on the wall. Grandpa snickered softly and smiled at his wife.

"Where would I be without you, Pookie?"

"Probably worm chow by now." She then went into the kitchen, riding the broom like a horse.

Helga trudged disappointedly back home, feeling that she could never get a job now. But suddenly grandpa opened the door and shouted at her, "Hey you!" Helga turned around, "I guess you're the one who's crazy enough to get a job here. So come on in so we can discuss about your employment here." Helga was elated as she beamed at him. This job might be in her grasp as of now.

**V**

Helga and Grandpa Phil were inside the living room right now, seating near each other. She sat on the couch while Phil on an armchair. Grandpa had felt that this interview served only as formalities, not an actual interview, per se. It was just his way to get acquainted with her. "So uh… Miss Pataki, did I say it right?" he asked, and Helga nodded, "We usually don't employ workers here since running the boarding house is a family business… but I'll have to make you an exception since you're friends with the Football— I mean, Shortman." Helga smiled widely. Grandpa then continued, "Do you have any work experience prior to this?"

"None." Helga replied, "But I'm excellent at intimidating people, which is a good trait, considering the people in this house. Also, I have good people skills."

"True, true." Grandpa nodded, in accord with her, "What would you say your worst quality was?"

"Hmm…" Helga hummed to herself, as she put her fingers under her chin, whilst look upwards, contemplating carefully about the question. She could say a lot of stuff about herself, like unruly, rebellious and sometimes badly behaved but then again, if she said that then she could kiss the job goodbye. So the most viable answer was, "I would say that… I work _too_ hard."

"Uh huh." Grandpa said, slightly surprised since he had expected something like unruly, rebellious and sometimes badly behaved as her answer. "So, if you feel my wife's cooking is horrible, what would you say?"

"I would compliment on her cooking, but I would also advise her to improve next time."

"No!" Grandpa replied angrily as she pointed at her, "You say in front of her face that her cooking stinks!"

"Ah…" Helga replied, "Dang! I was going to say that too!" she snapped her fingers.

Now, a serious question, "Okay, regarding your hours, do you want to work all day during the weekends only _or_ on weekdays after school? Of course, your day is over after dinnertime."

"_Wow!"_ Helga thought to herself cheerfully, _"A job and free dinner provided by them each day? The perks are even better than the stores in the mall!"_ she then decided to take the weekday offer.

"Okay, how much do you expect to get paid?"

Helga was stunned. He actually decided to let her tell him how much she would like to be paid? This was too good to be true. "I don't know… 5.50 bucks an hour?" she gave a random shot.

"Fair enough." Grandpa nodded, and thusly made Helga happy. Although she kinda regretted it since she could ask for a higher pay. "Final question before I consider your employment and end the interview: Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Hmm… in a college on the other side of the country or world?" Helga replied back.

"Close enough!" Grandpa replied, jumping out from his seat. He then extended his hands as to shake hands with her, "You're hired!"

"Thanks!" Helga too jumped up and shook his hand. "So I'll start tomorrow then?"

"Good timing too, since tomorrow is the time to collect the rent." Grandpa said, as he brought her to the kitchen, "So as we eat, we'll discuss about your job description and what are you going to do as an employee of this fine establishment." Helga saw Grandma making some finishing touches with her cooking. All the food on the table smells delicious.

**VI**

After school, Helga immediately ran to the boarding house to start her new job as the new 'tenant-to-proprietor relations negotiator and household maintainer', an official term for her job title. She was looking forward to this job since it gave her opportunity to explore Arnold's house more, something that she wanted to ever since her stealthy ninja stint in the fourth grade. She rang the bell and Grandma opened the door. The old lady gave her a smile and replied, "Ah, I see the new tenant-to-proprietor relations negotiator and household maintainer is early today. Come on in." And she walked in, and walked alongside Grandma, and finally stopped in front of the kitchen's entry.

Grandma then assigned her very first duty, "Today is the day where we collect the rent. But since everybody is at their job right now – except for Oskar since he works at night, I want you to go to Arnold's room and clean it up."

Helga widened her eyes in shock. There was a mix of excitement and disgust began to develop in her heart. She was excited that she was allowed to enter Arnold's room on her first day, and disgusted that she had to clean it up. Grandma Gerthie then brought her to the laundry room and handed her a broom, mop, rag, duster, a bucket with cleaning chemicals in it and a sponge. As Helga struggled to balance all the cleaning items with her hands as she followed grandma to Arnold's room.

"We haven't given the room a good fix ever since he left for San Lorenzo." Grandma said with a smile. Helga on the other hand, was in horror. The door to Arnold's room creaked, and dust floated about in the room. It made Helga sneezed loudly and accidentally dropped all of the things she carried out from her hands. After the dust settled, she was absolutely horrified at the room's condition. Grandma opened the window for her and said, "Now I want every nook and cranny of the room to be cleaned and don't touch any of my grandson's knickknacks. We want to put some boxes from the attic in here since that darned place is nearly full. We should've done it earlier but we kept on procrastinating, until you showed up."

Helga gave a Grandma dry smile, starting to regret on taking this job already.

"Now after you finished, you're allowed to a half-hour break. Go and watch TV or something." Helga was sort of happy to hear that. "Okay now, start cleaning." Grandma then exited the room whilst air guitaring wildly.

She was all alone now in the room, but first she decided to explore it first. The very first thing she did was going through his drawers at the desk. As she expected, there was nothing inside, except for a remote control that controls all of the electronic equipments inside the room. She checked for batteries, only to find it empty. She then shrugged off and put it down. She then went to the bed sans mattress and sat on it. All of her memories about this room began to take place. She remembered the time that she had to stay overnight inside the revolving couch compartment just so she could murder the annoying parrot in cold blood. It was also the first time she saw Arnold undressed for bed, which excited her a lot. Then there was the time that she actually went through the vent shaft after acquiring taped recording of her confession, high on laughing gas – and only to land into Arnold's room with all of his friends present.

Helga laughed at the fond memories. She now realized that she was a very disturbed kid at that time. She then gazed warmly at the room, and imagined what Arnold did in his room in his spare time. The Arnold figment was seen writing stuff on the desk, faded away and emerged back at the revolving couch, where he lied down while listening to upbeat music. It then faded again and emerged next to her. The little boy Arnold then transformed into teenage Arnold and turned to look at her, "You really are enjoying this, aren't you, Helga?" the Arnold figment said with a smile.

The comment made by Arnold figment snapped her back to reality, and she shook her head violently. She got up, shrugged the imagination away and decided to start working. And there was a series of montage of her cleaning the room up, starting from the drawers at the bed, to the floor, on the desk, and finally, up at the skylight. The room was finally all sparkly clean. She, bringing along the cleaning tools, walked down wearily from the room and put them back inside the laundry room. She then went to the den and decided to watch TV. After an hour when she was nearly asleep, grandma called her and asked her to go to the kitchen. "I see you've done cleaning up the room?" Grandma asked upon seeing Helga entering the kitchen. She nodded wearily. "Didn't I also tell you that you could only have a half an hour break?"

Helga widened her eyes, "You're going to cut my pay because of it?"

Grandma shook her head, smiling, "Nothing like that, deary. But don't be doing that again. And _don't_ abuse our trust."

Helga smiled back softly.

"Come here. I'm going to teach you how to bake."

Few hours later, when the day is getting dark and all of the tenants were back from home, Grandpa then asked her to collect the rent. Helga then smiled a devilish smile, and went to the first room – Ernie's room. "Hey Shorty, I'm here to collect the rent." She demanded with an intimidating tone.

"Oh, so you're the new girl the old man's been talking about? Yeah, yeah…" he then took his wallet out from his back pocket and rummaged through it, "And don't be calling me short, okay? Call me Ernie, or preferably, Mr. Potts. I'm kinda sensitive to it." he gave her the money.

Helga grabbed them from him and said with a snide smile, "Sure, whatever you say, Baldy." And Ernie went back into his room, crying.

"Hey Mr. Hyunh." Helga called him as she knocked the door. "Today's pay day. Cough up the cash."

There was no answer.

"C'mon Mr. Hyunh, this ain't cool. I know you're in there."

Still there was no answer.

Annoyed, Helga then shouted, "Listen up, man! I know where you live and where you sleep! I swear to everything holy that your mother will cry when she see what I've done to you!"

"Okay! Okay! I give up!" Mr. Hyunh surrendered in defeat, like the French, "Here! Here's the money!" he then slipped the money through the crack below the door. "Please, leave me alone!"

Helga then took the money away and walked away from the room, whistling happily.

"Ah, Mr. Kokoshka! I'm glad you're here. I'm here to collect the rent." Helga said.

"Oh… so you're the new girl that Grandma's been talking about. Well, it's like this… today's a… uh…" he stammered, "a… public holiday in my old country… where uh… we celebrate it by… not paying the rent… so uh… come back tomorrow okay? Eheheheheh…"

Not satisfied with the given excuse, Helga grabbed him by his shirt collar and demanded, "You're going to give me the rent now or else!" she said angrily through her clenched teeth.

In panic, Oskar shouted, "Help, Suzie help! This girl is scaring me! Please!"

"Oh, Oskar!" Suzie replied back in aggravation, "Just go and take care of the babies while I settle this matter over, okay?"

"Oh, thank you! Thank you Suzie!" And Oskar immediately rushed to his twin daughters.

Suzie just shook her head, in disappointment of her husband, "Well, at least he has a respectful job as a saxophonist in Harvey's jazz band now…" she then turned to Helga, "Oh, you must be Helga, right?" she then took the money out from her pocket, "Grandpa Phil talked about you yesterday, saying you'll be working here for a while?"

"Yep." Helga nodded, as she took the money away from her, "Man… it's hard to imagine for Arnold to put up with all of these antics back when he was here…"

"Well, he tried his best. And good luck with your job Helga." Suzie smiled at her.

"Yeah, thanks." Helga smiled back.

"Dinnertime everyone!" Gertie shouted from downstairs. And everyone in an orderly fashion went down to the kitchen. Grandpa was setting the table for them all whilst Grandma brought the main course to the table.

"So Helga…" Grandpa asked, "What are the spoils today?"

"Room has been cleaned, cake has been baked, and all of the tenants pay full in cash, no delays and no dumb excuses." She replied back as she gave Phil the money.

"Whoa, really?" Grandpa replied in surprise, "You're even better than Arnold. I think I'm gonna like you working here." He grinned.

**VII**

_Hey, don't blame me because your grandparents like me more than you man, I'm just doing my job. Anyway, thanks for the extremely important pointers you've given to me. Rest assured, I will heed and remember them. And I hope the best of luck with your job at the airport as well. And thank you again for writing to me Arnold. It's good to hear from you again._

_Your friendly neighborhood tenant-to-proprietor relations negotiator and household maintainer,_

_Helga._

And after Helga proofread her letter many times and was satisfied with its contents, she then clicked on the 'sent' button. But after waiting for a second or so, her impulses snapped her out and she realized what she had done. "Oh no. Ohno! Ohno! Ohno! Ohno! Ohno!" She widened her eyes in fear, and quickly clicked on the 'Stop' button repeatedly. But it was too late, and the email was already sent. "Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!" she banged her head against the keyboard. But the damage was done, and she could only hope the email got lost inside the trillions of kilobauds worth of information on the internet. She never had the courage to write to Arnold, and because of this, she hoped that she didn't write anything offensive to him, and hoped that he would write to her again soon.

* * *

Done and done. Hopefully I will get this fic on track again, after significant delays. Thank you for reading and please leave a review.  



	7. Ep7: Mallrats

_Author's Note: _I made a lot of references to the Hey Arnold movie in this episode just to make it a little bit familiar to the movie. And yes, there are also references to the Kevin Smith's movie 'Mallrats' here, so fan don't have to worry about it.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 7: Mallrats

**I**

"So what do you think about the new mall, Helga?" Phoebe asked her. They both were on their way home, riding the subway.

"Meh," Helga scoffed, "It could've been better if there are more shops open in that place." The train now stopped at their destination and off they disembark from their train.

"Well, give it some time Helga." Her best friend replied back as they deposited their token into the gate, "The mall just opened its doors this week."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Helga replied back, as they walked over to the escalator. "The soon-to-open 25 screens Googolplex at that mall sound pretty sweet."

"It sure is." Phoebe concurred, "Digital Projection, adjustable chairs, EAX 7.1 Digital Surround Sound—"

"Yeah, yeah." Helga produced her hand with her palm facing towards Phoebe, "Spare the technical commentaries to Eugene 'cause I don't know what the heck you're talking about, Pheebs." She replied back.

"Sparing." Phoebe chimed back. Both girls were now outside, after the long escalator ride. The sun was setting. "We should take the bus home Helga." Phoebe suggested, and Helga agreed with her. They boarded a rickety bus and took a seat closest to the exit door. Throughout the journey, they were talking about the new mall that they visited that just opened in the heart of the financial district of the city. It also claimed to be one of the biggest malls in the country, and the both of them agreed. Their only complain was the stores there were too outrageous for their expenses. Rhonda would enjoy shopping there though, they both said and agreed. After traveling a few blocks, the bus finally arrived at Helga's stop and she waved goodbye at her best friend. Helga eventually arrived at her house and took off her jacket upon entering in.

"I'm home." She announced as she made her way to her room. As she was climbing the stairs, Miriam came out from the kitchen and said to her:

"So how was the new mall, Helga?" Miriam asked in a calm, normal, non-flustered, non-intoxicated voice. "Was it any good?"

"How did you know I was at the mall?" Helga asked back.

"Olga told me." She replied, "She told me that she asked you to buy something for her?"

Upon hearing that, Helga slapped her forehead in disbelief. She had totally forgotten about that thing that Olga requested her to buy. "Aw nuts, I totally forgot!"

"Well, you should tell her then after she comes back home." Miriam said back. "So tell me, how was it?"

"Mom," she chuckled, "It's great! It's huge! The mall is ten storeys high and it takes half-an-hour just to walk from end-to-end! And they even fitted a flippin' amusement park inside!"

"What about the stores?"

"There're lots of stores that aren't opened yet, but some of your typical, generic brand stores are there. Expensive brands are there too, but… you know, expensive and such." She shrugged.

"Hmm…" Miriam contemplated, as she tapped her chin, "You know, I really should ask your father to take me there someday."

"Bob?" Helga chuckled again, "Good luck with that mom. Dad would never approve those pricey, upscale places anyway." And with that, Helga left her mother and went to her room and sat in front of her desk. She then suddenly had the need to tell her experience to someone. She then took out a piece of paper and a pen, and started to write away.

_Hello, boy who saved the neighborhood!_

_Hey, just thought I drop by to say hello. Actually, I want to say more than a hello. In case you haven't know, there's a new mall opened in the financial district, and by gum, that place is HUGE, man! Notice I stressed the word 'HUGE' by writing it in all capitals. And I'm not exaggerating it either! You can fit the state of Alaska in it, and still have room to put Texas in there! It's THAT big! Notice another word that I've written in capitals! And you want to know the plot twist is? The company that built this behemoth is none other than…_

_FTi Corporation!_

_Does it ring a bell? Of course you silly goose! It was _the_ company that tried to raze your neighborhood when we were nine! Remember the time when you really were determined to ask them to reconsider their plan, that you went through all the trouble of finding that document only to see it burn in front of your very eyes? Well, thankfully I was there to help_

Helga immediately stopped writing, remembering the time when that she went through the trouble of disguising as 'Deep Voice' and helped Arnold in finding the document, only to her shock that Arnold discovered her in disguise. Not to mentioned that she actually confessed and kissed him, and then pulled the biggest copout of the century. She then crossed the last sentence out repeatedly and wrote a new line over it.

_Yeah, that. With Scheck out of the picture, a new CEO is elected and he was actually considerate enough to relocate the mall plan to someplace that doesn't have any significant historical value. And unlike Scheck, the guy was nice enough to sit with the business owners at that place and reached an agreement. Anyway, why am I telling you the boring parts? You want to know about the mall right? Let me start the story when me and Phoebe…_

**II**

_Shortly after school is over…_

"Helga!" Phoebe yelled her name as she ran towards her friend, who was looking forward to spend the rest of the day resting in the house. Helga stopped so she could walk along with her friend. "So I heard Arnold's grandparents granted you a day off today."

Helga looked at her quizzically, "How'd you know?"

"Arnold's grandfather personally told me yesterday. I bumped into him when I did my errant for mother." She replied back. "He told me that the boarding house had some plumbing problem of some sort?"

"Yeah," Helga replied, "They're going to tear the place inside out just to install new pipes and stuff, so the place will be hectic than usual. That's why they gave me a day off today so I could save my energy for the upcoming days where I have to clean up their mess." She sighed depressingly. "The things I do for money and free food…"

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but if I'd like to forward a motion here: I was thinking of going to the new mall today—"

"The new mall that just opened in the financial district?" Helga interjected, asking her.

"Yes!" she chimed back, "And I was hoping—"

"Not interested." Helga interjected back, declining the proposal.

"Oh, come on, Helga! Please?" Phoebe pleaded to her, "It has been a while since we do things together, and I think by going to the mall will be an excellent way for us to spend the afternoon."

"I don't know, Pheebs…" Helga replied back, reluctant to go with her, "Well…" she gave it a second thought, "Come to think of it, I do have nothing planned for today… except for reading that novel I've been procrastinating on ever since the second chapter… Yeah, what the hay. I guess I can come with you."

Splendid, Helga!" Phoebe chimed back joyfully.

Meanwhile, at a different location in school, Nadine and Rhonda were on their way to the exit as they too have plans for the afternoon, "Nadine, wanna go to the new mall?"

"You mean the new mall that just—"

"Yeah!" Rhonda was quick to reply, "Wanna go?"

"I don't know…" Nadine replied back, "My rebellious anti-consumerism tendencies say that shouldn't go anywhere near those kind of places."

"Oh, it's not like you're going to buy anything there. I mean, what's wrong by embracing capitalism once in a while, huh?" Rhonda pleaded, "Please Nadine, at least I have my best friend there with me. All the other mall-going girls are doing their stupid cheerleading practice today."

"So let me get this straight: You invited me just 'cause your other girl friends were busy today?" Nadine asked her accusingly. "And what if they weren't busy? Would you invite me at all?"

Oh snaps. Rhonda stopped, looking at her in stunned surprise while Nadine continued on walking. "No! No! That's not what I meant!" Rhonda then quickly ran to her and stood in front of her to prevent Nadine from walking away from her, "C'mon Nadine! You know I'm not going to ditch my best friend away! Pweeeeeease?"

Nadine rolled her eyes, scoffing, "All right, all right." She finally agreed, reluctantly, "I'm not going to like it, but I'll go just because of your sake, and stop being a baby about it."

Rhonda was elated, "Yay! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

It was like fate. Suddenly, the both group bumped into each other at the front entrance. Nadine and Phoebe greeted each other while Rhonda and Helga averted their eyes and turn their backs against one another. "What's up with them?" Nadine asked Phoebe regarding their respective best friends, even though she already knew the reason was.

"You know… perpetual Cold War and all." Phoebe replied jokingly. "You look like someone who has something in mind. So do you have any plans after school?"

"Yeah," Nadine replied, smiling, "I hafta baby-sit Princess over here—" Rhonda was in disbelief upon hearing the remark, as she slightly turned around to look at her friend and scoffed at her. "—to a mall."

"Which mall? The new one that just opened in the financial district?" Phoebe asked.

"Yep, that's the one."

"What a coincidence!" Phoebe exclaimed, "Both of us are going there too." She gave a hinted, malicious smile. She was implying something to Nadine.

Nadine was quick to acknowledge it, "Yeah, perhaps we should go together!" And upon hearing that, both Helga and Nadine ran to their respective best friend and whispered to them to reconsider it. But the pleas fell on deaf ears as Nadine and Phoebe ignored their wishes.

"I concur!" Phoebe replied, as she and Nadine walked together out of the school building. Rhonda and Helga looked at each other disdainfully. Both of them had a murderous look on their eyes as they gazed at one another in extreme prejudice. _"This is going to be a _looooong_ day…" _they both thought to themselves.

**III**

The words 'Francis Turner Ivanovich Mall' graced the front entrance of one of the largest mall in the country. The mall was named after a famous local historical figure and coincidentally, the abbreviation of the FTi Corporation. Most people called the mall the 'FTI Mall' since it was simpler to pronounce. The also familiar 'Change is Good' slogan appeared below the mall's logo, albeit smaller in size. The girls just stood in front of the entrance in awe.

"Just how much cash do you think Scheck make out of this?" Helga asked, after been thoroughly awed by the sheer size of the building.

"If I recall correctly, he is still in prison, is he not?" Phoebe asked back.

"Oh, please." Rhonda said, "He's a powerful, influential white-collar criminal. The worst thing our justice system would do to him is putting him in under house arrest or to some country club type prison for several years."

"Ah… our wonderful Justice System." Nadine said sarcastically. And so, all four of them stepped in. The main foyer was a wide open space adorned with large, fresh plants and large wooden benches. As they scanned around, they saw Sid and Iggy idling in front of the pet store, ogling at girls. Every time when a girl passed them, Sid would run behind them and do some sort of a dance before returning back to Iggy. Sid then turned around, looked at the kitty display behind the window, and started to knock the window repeatedly as he said, "Kitty!" repeatedly. His actions were stopped by Iggy after he saw Park coming towards them.

"Park, man!" Sid greeted him, "Noochies noochies! Didn't expect to see you here."

"Robert got bored so he called me if he wanted to go with him to this mall." Park replied, "And now the unpunctual jerk who asked me to go with him earlier is nowhere to be found. What are you guys doing here?"

"Dude, it's a mall, man." Sid replied, "Hot chicks are always here." And then he saw the girls coming toward them, "And speaking of chicks…"

"Hey Park," Rhonda greeted him, "Is Robbie around?" Rhonda always knew that Robert would always stick around with him, so that was the question that she would always pop to Park if she didn't see Robert around.

"He…" Park tried to find the answer, to save his best friend's skin and not to disappoint Rhonda much, "said he'd be coming soon." Robert never really had any personal feelings attached to Rhonda, since he never felt attracted to her, which to Park's chagrin. Really, the girl practically threw herself onto him, and yet he didn't like it. Robert was either a stupid man, or a stupid man.

"Oh…" Rhonda replied, slightly disappointed.

"Hi Nadine…" Sid greeted her, in a flirty tone.

Nadine rolled her eyes while smiling, slightly amused by him, and replied him with a "Hello," in a sweet, sugary tone.

"So what are you two mischief makers are up to now?" Helga asked Sid, "I can conjure up a notion that you two morons are up to something, simply judging from your giddiness."

"Well, when you're right, you're right, Pataki." Sid replied, smiling.

"Doi, I'm always right." Helga chuckled.

"You see that stage in the middle of the foyer over there that they're going to use for some dumb contest this evening?" Sid pointed at it. "My esteemed compadre Iggy here found the schematics of the stage from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness. He figures you pull this one crossbeam out, and bickety-bam! The whole stage comes down!"

"Your thirst for chaos never ceased to awe me." Park replied sarcastically, although he did hold some awe for them for actually doing this crap. "I just hope this anarchy you're bringing won't get you two into the sights of authority."

"You're kidding man?" Sid playfully smacked Iggy as both of them laughed softly at Park's concern, "Reputable mischief makers like us would never douse our drawers at the sight of a mall security guard!"

Helga's eye began to twitch, "Well," she cut them off, not wanting to hear from them any longer, "Me and Phoebe have shops to go and things to buy, so I bid to you all farewell. You two goons go forth and wreak havoc." To which Phoebe concurred, by nodding her head.

"Yeah, Nadine and I should be going too. Shopping for clothes and all." Rhonda said.

"Not me though. I hate branded clothing." Nadine added. "I'm just here to accompany her. And Sid, though I don't endorse what you are doing, but please keep it safe." She advised him, which warmed Sid's heart.

"Nah, don't worry about me." Sid replied back, smiling. And so with that, he turned around and say goodbye to the kitties. He then smacked Iggy's shoulder and said to him, "For crying out loud Iggy, show some heart." And Iggy said goodbye to the kitties too, and they promptly left them.

"I guess we should split huh?" Nadine asked Phoebe, much to Rhonda and Helga's relief.

"We should," Phoebe agreed. "since we're going to different parts of the mall. How about you, Park?"

"I'll hang around here and wait for Rob. We want to check out this new sports store that just opened here. See ya girls around."

"Okay, bye!" the girls replied and waved at him.

**IV**

_At a bookstore…_

"Buy what?" Helga asked her sister through her cellphone, "No, I'm not doing you any favors, Olga." She protested back, but Olga pleaded again, "Ten bucks, or no deal." She delivered her ultimatum, and Olga finally agreed, "Pleasure doing business with you, dearest sister." Helga said sardonically, and ended the conversation. Phoebe shook her head in disbelief, yet amused by her friend. She wondered the intense sibling rivalry between Olga and Helga would ever stop. Helga looked at Phoebe and asked, "How come when I go to a mall with you, we'd always head to the bookstore first Phoebe?"

"Well, considering the fact that you're a writer yourself and you buy books for inspiration and me reading books just for fun, I would have to say that due to our common interest, we would always end up here first."

"Touché. Good point." She replied back, "So, where are we going first?"

"I need to pick up something for Gerald. His birthday is next week." Phoebe said. Helga didn't know Gerald's birthday is next week, so she was kind of surprised to hear that from her. And knowing Phoebe well, she'll definitely give him something very meaningful. "He has been saying this to me for a considerable amount of time now, but he never had the time or money to purchase it. I guess the most proper way for me, as a friend to celebrate his birthday is to give him something that he wants."

Helga assumption was right. Still, she decided to keep it mum, "Which is…?"

"Off we go to the autobiography section." Phoebe said to her, and they walked off. As they continued to walk the said section, Helga tried to guess what Phoebe had in mind, but her guesses were always wrong, as Phoebe chuckled and laughed at Helga's rather comical guesses. They arrived at the section and Phoebe began to search, as Helga looked at her, asking herself whether her best friend needed her help or not.

"You need help, Pheebs?"

"Oh no, thank you. I am perfectly fine." She replied back, after a few seconds of searching, Phoebe finally found the book she was looking for, and showed it to Helga.

"Malcolm X's autobiography, huh?" Helga asked, stating the obvious.

"Indeed." Phoebe replied back, smiling.

"You should buy him the movie version." Helga suggested, although she knew Phoebe won't budge from her decision.

"The book is better." Phoebe replied back, telling her what every elitist book reader would say if a person suggested the movie instead of the book. "Besides, he already has the DVD."

"Hey, I'm just saying." Helga shrugged, "Anything else?"

"Oh yes. I'm looking for a book myself. Come on." Phoebe then walked over to another section as Helga followed her best friend from behind. Phoebe walked over to the 'Children Fiction' shelf and searched for a book called 'A Series of Ill-Fated Events'. To her excitement, she was lucky to find the last copy being displayed on the shelf so she could claim it for herself.

"Oh yeah, you collect the series." Helga asked.

"Yes I do." She replied back, "The series has twelve books. This will be the sixth book in my collection."

"Then you're halfway through." Helga replied with a smile. "Now let's go find _my_ book." And Phoebe went along with her to section called 'Young Adult'. Helga's selection surprised Phoebe quite a bit.

"Your fondness for mushy literature never ceased to astound me, Helga." Phoebe said, to Helga's amusement. "'Loveless?'" Phoebe said again, putting her index finger on her chin, "You know I think I have heard of it before, but I couldn't place my finger on it. Is it from a videogame… no, impossible." She shook her head.

"Eh, don't hurt yourself Pheebes." Helga said, trying to stop Phoebe from thinking about it further, "Besides, this is _not_ a mushy book, it has lots of killings and bloodshed in it. Hence the title, 'Loveless'"

"And your love for violence never ceased to astound me either." She smiled again. "If there's nothing else, then I suggest that we should go to the counter and pay for our purchases. And while we still have the time, I'd like to propose a visit to the food court so we can eat. I'm paying."

The 'I'm paying' line from Phoebe made Helga grin to her ears.

**V**

Phoebe brought her tray of food to a table chosen by Helga, near some refreshing looking potted plants. She chose a very light meal today, which was a tuna sandwich with diet soda, whereas Phoebe chose a plate of spaghetti and orange juice. "Hey Pheebs," Helga said, "What would Arnold react if he knows about this place?"

"He'd probably be shocked hearing about this mall." Phoebe replied, "Must I remind you that he had gone through an insurmountable ordeal just to make sure this mall wouldn't be built in his neighborhood?"

"Well in the end, his efforts paid off finally. You know, getting that evidence was not an easy task."

"Yeah, I'm very well aware of that."

"Now, look at us. We're at the very mall that was supposed to be built in his neighborhood!"

"So…" Phoebe tried to guess, "You're saying that we should boycott this establishment just to show solidarity to our very friend who petitioned against this place?"

"No… nothing like that, Phoebe. It's just… weird, you know. Arnold strongly opposed the plan and here we are now shopping at very the place that he was fighting against for. Curse that jerk. He's making me guilty about this. If he's in this city right now instead of San Lorenzo, I'd march to house right now and give him a roundhouse kick in the face."

Phoebe chuckled a bit, whilst munching her food, "If it's making you feel any better Helga, I am feeling a sense of guilt too. Arnold poured so much into protesting the project that I still hear his vigor and power in my mind."

"Meh," Helga shrugged, chuckling softly, "I bet he doesn't care about it right now and probably is hanging out at some mall in San Lorenzo as we speak."

Phoebe looked at her in disbelief, with a wry smile carving little by little on her face, "Helga, San Lorenzo is a poor country with its economy in shambles. It would take years for San Lorenzo to get its economy stable again and open its first mall there."

"Yeah, I know." Helga nodding softly, "I'm just testing you to make sure you're listening to my nonsensical rambles." And both girls laughed softly.

"So I passed your test quite exceptionally. So what is our agenda after this, if I may so incline to ask?" Phoebe asked.

"We'd do what any self-respecting mallrat would do: loitering, walking around until our legs are tired or go to the amusement park and try the submarine ride or the rollercoaster out. But then again it wouldn't be fun if it were just the two of us. Well, either those or we could just head back home."

"Hmm… interesting proposals." Phoebe agreed, contemplating on the subject matter. "I wonder what Rhonda and Nadine are doing right now?"

**VI**

The other two was at an upscale clothing store that only rich or well-to-do people could afford buying their products. Nadine was bored out of her skull, as she waited impatiently on a bench for Rhonda to finish her shopping. Rhonda was not that far away from her friend. She looked and Nadine and felt like she need to open a conversation just to ease her best friend's boredom. "You know Nadine?" Rhonda asked her as she picked some clothes up from their display, "I beginning to hate Arnold for protesting the mall years ago. If he'd just let them build this place up in his neighborhood, it would've save me the trouble from riding the subway."

Nadine was shocked and offended by her friend's statement, and looked at her friend with a disapproval frown, "Rhonda, I can't believe you! Our friend fought so hard to save his house, his neighbors and all the businesses there and you condemned his efforts just because you want a shorter traveling time from your house to this mall?"

Rhonda looked at her back in disbelief, "Hey, I never said that!" she protested. "I'm merely saying that I wish for the mall be nearer to my house, that's all. Nadine, don't you feel a little bit uptight about it? I never knew the subject is so touchy to you."

"Don't you even remember?" Nadine asked her demandingly, and stood up, "My house was in one of the blocks that were supposed to be demolished by Scheck! Of course I was, and still touchy about it! If it wasn't for Arnold, I could've been living in a different county right now! And may I remind you yourself tried to persuade your dad to lobby the City Council so they could put a stop onto FTi's plans, just because you wouldn't your best friend, _me_, to move away? Don't you remember?"

Rhonda stood aghast. She had forgotten all about it. "Wow… I-I… really don't remember…" she replied, looking at Nadine apologetically. "Now I'm feeling bad for myself." She then looked at the clothes in her hands. After a long gaze, she said, "Well, I guess I'll go change now to see if they fit." And Rhonda walked away from Nadine, taking her embarrassment with her. Nadine scoffed at her friend for making such a stupid statement and hoped she'll withdraw her remark after she has done changing. Nadine sat back on the bench, took her earphones out from her pocket and played her mp3 player.

Meanwhile a few floors up from the stage, Sid and Iggy were preparing their plan, "Okay Broomstick," Sid called Iggy, as he pointed to his crudely drawn blueprint, "Here's what we are going to do. We tie you to the roof and you jump off and sail like a spitfire passing over the crowd. You then swing up to the stage and knock out the pin. When that's gone, the stage is trashed, and we go sm— uh… do a victory dance. You got it?"

Iggy nodded in understanding.

"Now, get your butt up there. And dude, don't forget your helmet. Snoogins." Sid then gave Iggy a colorful toy helmet that would do little to protect his skull. Iggy grabbed it from Sid and he then run to the floor where they placed the rope as he wore the helmet. After attaching the rope on the safety harness, Iggy climbed up the railings and spread his arms wide. Conditions at the main foyer could not be more ideal. So he made a leap of faith, and he soar through the area like a piñata being swing around.

"Fly, jerkface, fly!" Sid shouted enthusiastically. But alas, the plan wasn't working properly. Iggy missed the crossbeam and flew away to a women's clothing store. He crashed through the display window, through some clothing on display, and finally into a changing room, where Rhonda was about to change her clothes.

"WHAT THE HECK!" she shouted in shock and fear. Thankfully she still had her clothes on. Iggy slowly lifted his head up and innocently look at her.

"YOU JERK!" and Rhonda punched his head, and walked away from the fitting room hastily to complain to the manager. By now the crowd was getting bigger and bigger at the crash site, trying to figure out what was going on. Sid looked tense, and innocently walked away from the scene. Since he didn't want to get caught, Iggy quickly made a getaway by squeezing through the crowd. By the time the mall security guards came, both of the delinquents were gone. Two floors up, Park and Robert were looking at the scene below them, chucking disbelievingly.

"Ten bucks say Sid and Iggy are behind this nonsense." Robert said to his best friend.

"Now this is something that you don't see everyday. When will the both of them gonna grow up and stop doing this crap?" Park replied back. And up above one floor from where Robert and Park stood, there was Helga and Phoebe, looking at the scene.

"You think they will get caught by the authorities eventually?" Phoebe asked her best friend.

"Nah." Helga shook her head. "I don't think Rhonda is going to rat out on them since she has better means to deal with those two."

"And what is that?"

"Blackmail."

**VII**

_The both of them didn't get caught, but they have to obey Rhonda's every whim now. Those poor saps. To see a so-called tough guy like Sid got blackmailed by her really made me laugh out loud, but thankfully I didn't roll on the floor laughing my butt off. That would've been just stupid. Then again, I don't think the whole blackmail thing will last long, since Nadine would probably ask Rhonda to stop it, but that's just a hunch since Nadine and Sid… well, you know – or I'm just making some crazy assumptions. Still, I really don't know what does Nadine sees in Sid though. Wait, here I go again, assuming there's something going on between those two. I should stop talking about them right now._

_I hope you won't go all angry and stuff about the mall since it doesn't affect you anymore. To assure you, I'm going to tell you that Scheck is still not on the FTi Board of Directors and still serving house arrest for an untold years, your neighborhood is still intact, nobody is being forced out of the community, and there isn't going to be any new developments coming soon to our neighborhood as the City Council still recognizes the historical significance of our neighborhood. _

_Well, here ends my letter. I don't know where you'd go to pass your idle time in San Lorenzo since there aren't any malls there, but I hope you'll pass your time productively, like volcano diving or whatever fun stuff people are doing in San Lorenzo. I'm outta here._

_The girl formerly known as Deep (Whatever),_

_Helga._

"I'm home everyone!" Someone announced from the front door. It was Olga.

"Aw nuts!" Helga said to herself. She quickly put the letter into her drawer and then she climbed up her desk to jump out of the window to a tree to escape from her sister. She then made her way down as Olga walked into her room.

"Baby sister…" Olga called her in a singsong voice, "Huh? Where is she?"

Barefoot, Helga made her way to the main street and ran to the front door to wear her shoes. She then went out again, with no specific place to go to. She just hoped that by the time she went back home, her sister would've forgotten all about it. Either that, she could run to the nearest store and buy the thing that her sister wanted. She aslo questioned herself why she did not confront her sister like she would do always.

* * *

I've given thought of putting some tasteless humor when Helga signed-off her letter, but I decided not to because... it's tasteless. Well, that's about it. Thank you for reading.  



	8. Ep8: Lila's Return

_Author's Note: _Wow, it has been a while since the last update. This episode concerns about Lila, and the story is more-or-less inspired from a certain Mandy Moore movie. And Lila haters stay back! There's no Lila bashing here. And hey, there are some Peanuts references too!

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 8: Lila's Return

**I**

"So, I'll see you later then." Helga said as she waved at the red-haired girl.

"Yes, thank you ever so much!" the girl replied back giddily and left Helga in front of her porch. As the red-haired girl walked away and to a corner, Helga looked at her and smiled softly with a not-so-obvious evil grin on it.

"Moron." She said to herself, entertaining her ever burning jealousy for the 'little' red-haired girl, for she used to be the object of Arnold desire. She shook her head, and went inside of her house. After putting her jacket away, Helga made her way into her room and switched on the laptop that she had conveniently placed on her desk. Within minutes, her laptop was ready to use and the first thing she did was open her word processor program and began writing to her object of desire, Arnold.

_Hey there Charlie Brown,_

_Remember the Little Red-Haired Girl you used to be so fond of when you were in the fourth grade? Aw, c'mon Arnold. You know her. The farm girl? Whose dad had to move to the city? The one with the pigtails? The one that you used to like her, like her so much but she didn't like you, like you back? All right, I'll stop with the hints and subtleties. Remember Lila? Of course you do._

_She got transferred to my school a few weeks ago, after a long stint in Catholic school. I still don't know why she wanted to leave her old school for this dump, since I never really asked her, or asked anyone else for that matter. It just so happened one day she just appeared out of nowhere, and poof! There she is! You'd best ask Stinky and/or Phoebe about this, since they're the ones who know the reason why she's here. In my school. Doing her Lila-ness around. Driving us girls nuts, for some reason. _

"Hmm…" Helga said, drumming her fingers on the keyboard as she contemplated thoroughly, "Yeah, why not? I have to keep you away from her." she said with a grin.

_If you plan to like her, like her again (I really should stop writing like a fourth grader), suffice to say that she's going out with Stinky now. You know, religious folks tend to stick together and all that, regardless the differences between their sects. Just for the sake of youth groups maybe?_

"Heh. That should keep your mind off her." Helga said, smiling to herself.

_It's kinda freaky to see her not changing at all ever since we parted ways after middle school. She dresses pretty much the same, very polite, humble, which I would go as far as saying that she's a prude. You don't see that kind of person often these days in this part of the country, so it's kind of a shock to us. Oh yeah, some things happened to her after a few days in our school, which kinda made me feel sorry for her. _

**II**

_School lunch break…_

"Guys! Guys!" Eugene said as he ran to his friends, relaxing as they got nothing to do other than talking and generally wasting time at the school's cafeteria.

"Running away from Sheena again, Eugene?" Sid said teasingly as Gerald gave him a high-five. "You know she's going to kill you after she reads the stuff you wrote on her Mys—"

"No, it's not that! And for the record, I _didn't_ write that! Somebody must've gotten my password—" Eugene then stop, and put his hand on hid forehead rubbing it, "Oh, why do I even bother explaining it? Look guys, listen to me. I was at the principal's office repairing his secretary's computer when all of the sudden I saw _a girl._"

"What, you've never seen a gal before, Eugene?" Stinky interjected, and the table erupted with laughter.

"What the? Shut up and listen to me, guys! This is serious!" Eugene raised his voice, "You guys remember that girl from grade school? You know, the one with the red hair," he flailed his hand around his head as if he tried to reconstruct the image of the girl, "and the pigtails, and she'd always wear a green dress to school?" that got the gang to shut up and reminisce back to their old grade school days.

"Hmm… redhead…" Gerald said, stroking his chin. "Sounds familiar. Is she be the one that Arnold used to like?"

"The one who says 'ever so' in every sentence she says?" Harold asked.

"Lila." Stinky said, nodding. "Definitely Lila." And all of the gang looked at him, stunned. And they then looked back at Eugene.

"Get out of here!" Sid said, laughing disbelievingly. "You're saying that the Lila we all know is here in this sorry excuse for a school?"

"I call shenanigans!" Iggy shouted.

"You're pulling our leg, aren't you Eugene?" Robert said, smiling in disbelief, although the probability of accepting the truth is rising significantly.

"Never knew the guy was such a great joker." Park replied.

"Man Eugene. I have to admit, that was a great joke." Gerald said to him. "You must've mistaken for someone else. To think that the ever so sweet, lovely, likable Lila," the comment drew soft laughter from the gang, "is joining this pathetic excuse for an education institute is absolute lunacy."

At a different table, "Hey, girls. Wanna hear something _shocking_ today?" Rhonda said as she walked over to where Nadine and Sheena were sitting.

"You bought new clothes, again?" Nadine replied in a bored tone. "_Shocking_, indeed." She said sarcastically.

"No, no. Nothing like that unfortunately." Rhonda said as she took a seat next to Sheena, "Have you heard the news? Word on the street – or rather, hallway in this context, there's a new girl in school."

"So?" Sheena replied, "People come and go. It's not like she's anything special. In time she'll be another faceless person in a sea of degenerates attending this school."

"Ah, see that's where you're wrong, Sheena." Rhonda replied back, as she pointed her finger to her, "You two do know I'm one of the high council members of the Student Body, right?"

"Yes." Nadine intoned, "We've heard it, _many times_. So, is there a point to this?"

"Lo and behold, girls. This is not just any girl. We've known this person since grade school, and she's coming here!" Rhonda replied back, as if she was giving them a bad omen.

Nadine and Sheena's interest suddenly grew upon hearing Rhonda's words. "Who's she?" Nadine asked. At this time, Helga and Phoebe were walking past them, going to some empty seats away from the three.

"I just got the newly transferred student manifest from the office, and get this – I saw Lila's name on it." Helga then came to a screeching halt, turned around, looking murderously at Rhonda.

"What about _Lila_?" Helga said, greatly stressing Lila's name as if she wanted to do something bad to her. Helga then motioned her head to Phoebe to ask her to join with Nadine, Sheena and Rhonda.

"Why the sudden interest in the school's affairs, Monobrow?" Rhonda mocked her.

"Nothing of your concern, Princess." She replied back, rather hostilely. "I'm here to know more about the girl you just said. So if you'd just be so kind to inform me I'll gladly spare the degrading insults and snide remarks. Tell us then, is she _the_ Lila from PS 118?" Helga asked back.

"I'm really not sure, since her last name is smudged with coffee stain." Rhonda replied back. "But, consider this, what if it really _is_ her?"

"I think the answer has already showed herself at the door." Phoebe said, as she pointed to the cafeteria double doors. Both guys and girls were in shock.

**III**

It was like as if a shockwave spread through the whole cafeteria as Lila walked into the cafeteria doors. Almost everyone (mostly guys) looked at her in stun, shock and awe, yet Lila was still oblivious at the attention given to her, or she just ignoring them, since this had happened plenty of times in her life. Her short, shoulder length red colored hair blew majestically through the air, frolicking beautifully as the shine glitter on her soft, gorgeous hair. It seemed that her pigtails no longer graced her petite, cute-ish head. Her face looked absolutely divine, with a trace of her old freckles still dotted her puffy cheeks. Her eyes were gorgeous, so gorgeous that any guy who looked directly into her eyes would instantly fell in love with her. Her nose was small, button nose and her lips were simply elegant. And this was without makeup. Still, she wore a modest green dress with a plaid green knee length skirt. Quite possibly a trademark of hers.

As she made her way to the counter, many people (mostly guys) couldn't let their eyes off her. To most girls, Lila gave them many reasons for them to be jealous of her. Guys, on the other hand… well, it was obvious why. As she walked past a couple, the guy just looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes. Noticing her guy was distracted, the girl turned around and saw Lila walking away from them, and presumed her guy got distracted by Lila. Angered, she immediately got up and slapped her guy. "I HATE YOU!" and promptly left him while the guy made no effort at all to calm his girl. As she walked pass through the tables, the member of the opposite sex who sat there felt like time stopped completely. Another guy walked by her, and was too distracted by her appearance that he accidentally stepped on a wayward ice cube on the floor and fell down violently. The same thing happened to two other guys as well.

"I'd tap that… hard." Sid said, absolutely stunned and awe of Lila's presence in the cafeteria. The comment couldn't be described on Sid alone, since the rest of the guys were in the same state of trance as Sid was. Their eyes were as wide as ping pong balls with their mouths wide agape. They couldn't say anything at all, as hormones completely took over their body. Stinky on the other hand, his reaction wasn't like the others. He looked at Lila with warm smile with an admiring gaze.

The girls' table on the other hand, treated the somewhat expected reaction from the people with uneasiness and discomfort. "Oh great, the ever 'Ms. Perfect' is back, with a vengeance." Helga said, not happy with her return.

"She fills me with terrible rage." Rhonda said through her clenched teeth.

"I am… indifferent." Sheena continued.

"Hmmph." Nadine scoffed, crossing her arms.

"Well I for one, will not immediately judge her based upon first impression." Phoebe said. Then there was a slight pause, "Oh, who am I fooling? I _am_ judging her based on my first impression." She looked at Lila with her eyes narrowed.

Upon reaching the counter, she accidentally brushed a guy on his shoulder, nearly making his soup fell down. "Hey, watch where you're going." He said, not looking at her.

"Oh, I'm ever so sorry!" she said apologetically. Upon hearing her voice and looking at her face, the guy was absolutely stunned, and he just gazed at her in awe. He wanted to move his lips to say something to her, but he just couldn't. To him, his voice would defile the beauty of this girl.

"Are you okay?" Lila asked. The guy couldn't reply back as he was too stunned by her appearance. After a long, long silent gaze, with his lips visibly quivering, Lila chuckled softly and a sweet smile began to carve across her face. "Okay." She giggled softly, "I'll be careful next time." And then she left him.

After the shellshock was over, the guy put his bowl of soup on his heart unintentionally, with the hot soup oozes out from the bowl, and still he didn't feel anything. He then placed his arm on his forehead and began to soliloquize, "O behold that the angel hath descended from the heavens and graced her lovely illustrious beauty on a poor peasant such as me. Her heavenly voice lights the hearts of men and soothes the ghastly beast."

Helga shook her head, couldn't bear seeing all the idiot men in front of her instantly falling for her rival. "I can't take this…" she then got up.

"Helga, where are you going?" Phoebe asked.

"You know, it's kind of amusing to see all these pathetic _morons_ looking at her like that." Rhonda interjected.

"I'm going to the bathroom for awhile." Helga said, pointing to the doors with her thumb. After seeing Helga running away rather hastily to the door, Phoebe then looked at the girls and asked. "So girls, what is our plan of action?"

"Spread malicious rumors about her on the internet?" Rhonda replied back, smiling maliciously.

"Blackmail her with evil threats?" Nadine said.

"Somehow, stuffing her locker with Jell-O is kinda temping right now." Sheena said. Phoebe, Nadine and Rhonda all looked at her with an eyebrow lowered.

"Girl, that trick didn't work in the forth grade before, and it ain't going to work now." Nadine replied.

"Oh come, girls." Phoebe interjected. "We are not fourth graders! We are matured, civilized women that hold no scorn and no envy towards our formal rival. I say the best thing we should do right now is to act civilized and greeted our old friend with open arms." And with that suggestion, everyone at the table agreed. "If all else fails, we hit her head with a fire extinguisher and bury her body in the woods where nobody can't find her." the suggestion also met with resounding agreement by Phoebe's friends. By now Lila was ready to find a seat. She scanned around, and saw four girls that looked a lot like her grade school friends.

"Oh crud, she sees us!" Rhonda said.

"Smile girls, smileeeeeeeeeeee…" Phoebe said while forcing herself a smile. The other girls followed suit. "And waveeeee…" Phoebe lifted a hand, and waved at Lila. The other three again, followed suit. Lila was elated. It was her old friends from grade school.

"Aw nuts, she's heading over to the girls." Park said, disappointed.

"Told you guys we should've used a megaphone." Iggy replied.

"What? And do something like this?" Gerald then put his fist near his mouth and said as if he was using a megaphone, "ATTENTION LILA SAWYER. WE ARE HERE. WE ARE HERE." The humor was greeted with laughter from the guys.

"_I wonder if she still remembers me…" _Rhonda, Sheena, Phoebe and Nadine thought to themselves as they still had that fake smile on their face.

"Oh my gosh! Rhonda! Sheena! Phoebe! Nadine! It's ever so wonderful to see all of you again!" she said upon arriving at the table. After putting her food on the table, she gave each and everyone a hug.

"_Get away from me, you touchy-feely freak!" _Rhonda thought to herself when being hugged by Lila, even though she still retained her smile. The same sentiment was shared by the others. "Oh, where is Helga? It would be ever so great to see her again!"Elsewhere in the girls' bathroom, Helga was pacing around, muttering to herself nervously.

"Calm down, Helga ol' girl. She's just here to study and not doing anything else. Yeah… She's not going to ruin my life, steal Arnold away from me and annoy me with her SWEET SUGARY MASSACRING VOICE WHICH BRUTALLY AND MERCILESSLY MURDERS MY _FREAKIN'_ EARS EACH AND EVERY TIME THAT STUPID MALEVOLENT EVIL GIRL OPEN HER ENORMOUS BEHEMOTH OF A MOUTH THAT OFFENDS EVERY SINGLE LIVING THING IN EXISTANCE!"

**IV**

"So, that is why I quit Catholic school." Lila explained her reason for transfer to the girls.

"Ah… I've always thought your former school was like one of those preppy ones." Rhonda nodded very slowly, and yes, she understood Lila's explanation, "And you're religious person, right? To tell you the truth, it's hard to find someone else like you here. Well, at this part of the school, anyway."

"Well, it doesn't matter." Lila replied, beaming. "I pray that I'll find someone who shares the same mindset as I do eventually."

"Indeed." Sheena replied. "So why are you still wearing that skirt uniform?"

"I just like it." she replied back, shrugging, "It's very comfortable to wear, and furthermore it's not revealing." Rhonda chuckled a bit.

"_How very modest of you."_ Phoebe thought to herself. "So what have you done basically these past few years? Care to share us some stories?"

"Oh, nothing much." Lila replied back, "I'm basically active in a lot of religious affairs, and helping the community and all that. I dated this guy once but we broke up since he asked me to fornicate." She said shyly with her face lowering down.

"Heh, really now? Anything else?" Nadine asked, smiling.

"I went to Rome a few months back with my class." Lila answered back.

The subject matter grabbed Rhonda's interest. "Vacation in Rome, huh? Went to any boutiques? Sightseeing and stuff?"

Lila chuckled giddily, "You silly, I went to the Vatican!"

"Oh…" Rhonda replied back, somewhat dissatisfied with the answer. She then turned around, and saw Helga at the door, with her eyes twitching and a creepy grin, and her upper half of her shirt was all wet. She then walked up to the girls and sit directly in front of Lila.

"Oh, hi Helga! I'm ever so glad to see you again!" She got up and hugged her. Helga's eye twitch increased tenfold.

"Yes. Glad. See. You. Liiiiii—leeeeeeeeaaahhhhhhhh…" Helga found it was hard to pronounce Lila's name properly. "How. You?"

"Oh, I am ever so wonderful right now!" Lila exclaimed. "It's even more wonderful that I finally got to see my old friends from grade school again! Speaking of my old friends, where are our male counterparts?"

"Over there," Nadine pointed to a table a faraway distance from them, "Gawking at this table, watching our every move and guessing our every conversation ever since the start of this period,"

"Did Nadine just point to us?" Sid asked.

"I think so…" Harold replied. And then they saw Lila waving at them. "Holy poo! She's waving at us!"

"My word, ever since she came here everyone is acting like they're in grade school!" Park replied back, shaking his head. "So, what are you guys waiting for? Show her our hospitality!" and the guys waved back.

"You girls don't mind if I go over there and get reacquainted with them for a while?" Lila asked. The people around the table didn't mind, and let her go. And as she walked away from them and to the guys, Helga, Rhonda, Nadine, Phoebe and Sheena looked at her with their hearts contempt.

"She's very nice." Phoebe said.

"Yeah, and polite too." Nadine agreed.

"And she's great to be around with." Sheena concurred.

"A bit prude, but still it was a pleasant encounter…" Rhonda said.

"I don't like her." Helga concluded. The sentiment was shared by everyone.

**V**

"You know, she's not going to like it." Rhonda said to Nadine as they walked through their school hallway. "_I_ want to watch that new Tom Cruise movie, but _nooo_, you want a thought provoking, intelligent movie, which I doubt that movie is like what you've said. Besides, the book is not even that good anyway. Do you happen to read the papers? The movie is totally bashed by the critics."

"One of my reasons why I still enjoy going to the movies is not reading the critics' review, Rhonda. It kinda makes the movie going experience better." Nadine replied, "Besides Rhonda, I believe that she's very open-minded towards the movie. Furthermore, she's new here; ergo she needs some companionship to familiarize with the surroundings. And speaking of her, there she is. Hey, Lila." Nadine saw Lila talking to a guy near the door to the janitor's closet. It seemed like she was declining a proposal politely to that person. The guy was disappointed, but accepted her refusal. But he wouldn't give up on her though. As the guy walked away from her, Lila looked at him with a soft smile as she hugged her books.

"What did you do to him?" Rhonda asked.

"He asked me to go out on a date." She replied back politely, "Is it just me, or is almost every guy I've met in this school have some sort of affection towards me? To be ever so honest, I don't think I am that good looking…"

Lila's self-criticism made Nadine and Rhonda rolled their eyes in disgust and they felt like wanting to punch her in the mouth. Oh, how they envied her, liked her and loathed her at the same time… just like in grade school. It was déjà vu all over again. But despite all that, they remained calm, "It's just you." Rhonda replied back, with an annoyed, intoning tone. "So… Nadine and I are going to watch a movie after this. Wanna join us?"

"Oh, is it the movie about the cute little animals?" she replied back enthusiastically.

Nadine and Rhonda looked at each other in disbelief. She really didn't change much at all. "Uh… no…" Rhonda replied, "Since Nadine here isn't a big of a fan about mindless entertainment about people blowing stuff up, we want to go watch that new Tom Hanks movie about Da Vinci… something-or-other."

Lila's enthusiastic face changed drastically to an uninterested frown. "Oh… I'm ever so sorry, but I have to refuse. I'm just not interested in watching that… blasphemy."

"They call it fiction for a reason, Lila." Nadine replied, trying to persuade her.

"I'm sorry, I just can't. Perhaps another day with a different movie, maybe?" Lila said back weakly, trying to smile back.

"Yeah sure." Rhonda nodded, "Another day, then. See you." After they exchanged waves and parted, Rhonda then said to Nadine, "Told you she doesn't want to watch it. Now can we _please_ go and watch Tom Cruise?"

Nadine rolled her eyes, but still insists to her movie of choice.

Meanwhile in the school library, Park and Robert were there searching for a book when all of the sudden this pale poser thuggish gangsta guy that the both of them barely knew walked up to them and asked, "Y0, y0 Robert and… his homie." He had forgotten Park's name, "What up dawg?"

"_Who is this guy?"_ Robert asked himself with an eyebrow lowered, _"Kinda looks like the dude from English class…" _"Uh… yeah, whassup?"

"I saw that new chica walked up to your table yesterday. What be up with that, dawg? She knows you two?"

"Uh… yeah, kinda." Park replied back.

"Aw yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Listen homies, I be needin' to know more 'bout that _fine_ piece." He replied back, "Yeah, baby."

"Uh, why don't you ask her yourself?" Park asked back.

Robert was aware about his intention, and replied, "And besides, you won't be getting 'any' from her man, she's… well, 'waiting', if you know what I mean."

Sorely disappointed due to the lack of cooperation, he shook his head and said, "Psssh. S'kay, fine, whateva." And he promptly left the library, as Park and Robert looked at him back with incredulous disbelief.

"Never saw him in the library before." Park said to Robert. "And what the heck, Robert? Lila's 'waiting'? As in, after marriage? Does she even tell you something like that?"

"Hey, _someone_ has to keep… him away from her. And besides, given our conversation with her at the cafeteria a few days back, do you think that she's that kind of a person? You know what else? I kinda… feel the need to protect her for some reason. I just don't know why."

"You know, I'm not the kind of person who indiscriminately judges people like that, but you do have a point there. It's probably because we've know her for so long… and given the fact that she's _so_ hopelessly naïve and innocent…" Park sighed. "Do you realize that ever since she came here, it has been both a curse and a blessing at the same time?"

"I know what you feel, man." Robert replied, "People can't stop pestering me asking about her. Day after day after day after day! It's driving me nuts!"

"Tell me about it." a female voice said as she made her way to the table where Park and Robert sat. "Everyone else can't seem to stop talking about her." it was Helga, with Phoebe next to her.

"Indeed." Phoebe replied back, "And it's unfortunate that most of the girls circle talks negatively about her."

"Derived from jealousy, I assume." Park chuckled softly. "Jeez, you girls really need to bury the hatchet and really need to see her in a different angle. She's not all that bad."

"For you guys, maybe." Helga replied, "It's all different on this side of the fence where only the strong survives."

"Doesn't look any different from this side of the fence, Helga." Robert replied back.

"All right then, be honest with me." Helga wagered, "Between Lila and me, which one would you pick? I don't care the reason is, just pick. Me, or Lila?"

Both boys were stunned, as they put their guard up to the highest degree, while Helga had already had her gun up in sight. Both Robert and Park were contemplating thoroughly about this… trick question, as beads of sweat was noticeable on their foreheads and they were stuttering nervously. "Whoa, hey, look at time!" Park pointed to his imaginary wristwatch.

"Yeah!" Robert continued as he hastily picked his books up, "We have to go… somewhere! So see you girls later! Run, Park! Run like the wind!" and they ran off like a horse being whipped.

"You know, somehow I expected that kind of reaction from them." Helga said to Phoebe.

Phoebe shook her head and said, "Typical men."

"You said it, sister." Helga replied back.

And yet in a different place in the school, a guy that Stinky didn't like since he had no respect for Lila at all couldn't stop pestering him as he continuously asked him about Lila, "She's religious, eh?" he asked. "Then there's only one thing I be needin' to do: corrupt her." The statement greatly infuriated Stinky so much that he couldn't control his anger. He immediately grabbed the guy on his shirt collar and violently pinned him on someone's locker.

"Listen to me, ya trash! Lay one finger on her and I _sweah_ I'll finish ya off!" he then banged a fist next to his face, and left him in disgust. The guy scoffed and said to himself, "We'll see."

**VI**

So in every passing week Lila's popularity in the school had grown significantly by both students and members of the school faculty due to her friendliness to all, her helpfulness and outgoing personality, nice and caring, _and_ cute too. But, despite of her ever so growing popularity and the warm welcome she received, there were some who greatly dislike this girl with passion. These were the people who felt that they were really threatened by her and the only thing to do to keep her silent was to degrade her with cruel words. They got their act together by doctoring a picture of her with evil words pasted on it and photocopied for all to see. Shows how matured they were.

"What the heck is this?" Eugene said loudly as he picked up the flier containing a badly doctored image of Lila with degrading words written on it. "Whoa, this is really retarded. Anyone with a half a brain knows that all of these aren't true." Just then, a couple walked by him, laughing and giggling at the picture, "I weep for the future of the youth of this generation…" Wasting no time, he took the flyer along with him to Sid. He'd sort these things out. And just so suddenly, he accidentally slipped on one of the flyers and fell. "Ow! I'm okay." And he continued on his journey. His best bet was in the cafeteria, but along the way he bumped into Sid, Gerald and Harold.

"Guys. Read this flyer lately?" Eugene asked as he handed over the paper to Sid. He declined it and replied:

"Yeah, it's all over the place. Whoever did this is absolutely stupid." Sid replied back. "As much as I want to help her, heck even Nadine asked me to do it, I don't have any evidence yet, so I can't do anything." Sid said with a sigh, as he patted Eugene's shoulder softly. "C'mon, let's head over to the cafeteria and have some lunch." Eugene nodded to the suggestion, and followed them.

"Where's Stinky?" Eugene asked.

"I dunno, somewhere." Gerald shrugged.

"C'mon guys, double-time." Harold said, "I'm _really_ hungry right now." And as they entered the cafeteria they saw some guys (which one of them pestered Robert and Park on the other day) and girls laughing and talking loudly while looking at the doctored picture of Lila. Upon seeing that, Sid became suspicious, but he didn't do anything yet.

"Maybe it's them." Sid said, as he motioned his head at the obnoxious group whilst holding the flyer.

"You sure, man?" Gerald asked.

"No, I'm not." Sid shook his head. "We wait up, and see what's going to happen next."

"Oh, for the love of crimeny, you guys read that crud too?" Helga said as she made her way to the table. "You know, even as a 'rival', so-called, to Lila," she tried to make it subtle, "I think I have enough brain cells to know the difference between a nasty rumor that is made up and the truth."

"Hey now, don't make accusation like that, girl. We don't believe it ourselves." Gerald replied.

"MY WORD!" a female voice yelled unexpectedly as she picked up one of those flyers, "Even I have a higher standard of humiliating people than to conjure this crap!"

"Hey Rhonda." Harold called, "over here!"

"Have you guys read this already?" Rhonda asked them as she crumpled the flyer, "what a load of crock!" And as soon as she said that, Lila walked into the cafeteria holding the nasty flyer about her while looking at it with great discomfort and sadness. The gang could see brim of tears on her eyes.

"D-does…" she asked timidly, "anyone know who did this?" the question was replied with a roaring laughter from people inside the cafeteria (well, the stupid ones anyway). "Please… please do tell…" but her plea was engulfed with laughter, and poor Lila just stood there, about to break down.

"I can't help to feel sorry for her…" Rhonda said, which kinda surprised the gang since Rhonda was well-known for her hurtful insults.

Helga shook her head in disbelief, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but Rhonda, let's get her out before it gets worse for her."

"Wait." Harold said, holding his palm up, "Stinky just came in." Stinky was shocked and enraged to see Lila being laughed at. He then walked up to her and gave her a hug to console her. Noticing Rhonda and Helga in the room, he asked them to bring Lila out as he looked at the guy whom he knew was the mastermind behind all this. It was the guy who pestered him about Lila and degraded her too. As Helga and Rhonda walked Lila out from the cafeteria, Stinky confronted the guy with anger in his stare. The confrontation is being watched by Gerald, Harold and Sid from afar.

"Stinky looks pretty steamed." Harold said, "You think the guy he's throwing a fit at is responsible for this?"

"Possibly." Sid replied back. "I think I know that guy. Wannabe thug, stupid, you know, the usual." He explained.

"Seems like he has his chicks to back him up too." Gerald said. As time went on, the confrontation between Stinky and the guy became more and more furious, as they began to shout insults at each other.

"Relax, Stinky. Relax… calm down…" Eugene said to himself.

"C'mon homeboy, you know he's talking trash. Just walk away." Gerald said.

"C'mon Stinky. Don't waste your breath on that guy, man." Sid said, "No need to use violence."

"Aw come on! The guy's stupid, Stinky!" Harold yelled softly. After a few minutes of tense, nerve-wrecking moment, Stinky felt that he had enough with this guy, and decided to walk away, but not after he threw some final insults to him.

"You're the man." Eugene said in relief.

"Way to go. That's my boy." Gerald said, smiling.

"Good, now just walk away, hombre." Sid said, almost wanting to give him a clap.

Harold chuckled softly at his friend. As Stinky was about to exit the cafeteria, the guy shouted incredibly cruel words about Lila to Stinky and he just snapped. He turned around, looking at him with a murderous gaze.

"Oh no, oh no." Sid said worriedly, "Turn back, turn back." But Stinky didn't. He gave the guy a hard punch on the face, throwing the bad guy on the ground. The guy got up again, and wiped the blood off his nose. He gazed at Stinky angrily, and yelled, "You're dead, man! DEAD!"

"Intervention time guys! Let's go!" Gerald said to his friends, and quickly they got up from their seats and ran to the scuffle. As Stinky and the guy were about to trade punches, Gerald and the gang successfully intervenes the fight and put them away from each other.

"Don't mess around with my friends." Sid said to the guy threateningly while pointing a finger to him. "Let's be civilized here: Stinky," Sid said, "why didja want to stomp this guy up?"

"He's the one who's behind all dem stupid flyers, Sid!" Stinky said back angrily as Eugene and Gerald held him up.

"Okay." Sid said back calmly, "Do you have any proof?" he asked again.

"I asked the school newspaper editor, and he and a few fellas said he saw those idiots-" he pointed to the guy and his friends behind him, "-used the copier to make 'em."

Sid nodded, thoroughly satisfied with the explanation, he then walked up to the poser guy and said, "Now we're going to leave. But remember, if you do something like this again to my friends, I swear I'm going to mess you up real good that from that moment on, your every breath is a gift from me." Sid said threateningly to him as he gazed deeply into his nervous eyes. "Let's go guys, and leave these posers and their dirty wenches alone." Everyone else agreed, and calmly walked towards the exit. Still unsatisfied, the guy scoffed back and yelled at Stinky:

"You're lucky to have Sid on your side, dawg! You'd be dead if it wasn't for him!" but Stinky ignored the remark and walked away with his friends, with their hearts still burning with anger. Along the way, they met Phoebe, looking tired.

"Oh thank goodness!" Phoebe said in relief, "Was there a fight?"

"It was all avoided, Phoebe. Rest easy now." Gerald replied.

"Good, I was worried that you got yourself into a brawl, Gerald." Phoebe said back. "Come on, the rest of us are outside." They then followed Phoebe outside and saw Helga, Rhonda and Sheena comforting Lila on a bench underneath a large tree. Lila was in tears, and it broke Stinky's heart so much to see her in a state like that. He then sat next to Lila after Helga moved away for him. He then put his arm across her shoulder and Lila immediately began to cry on his shoulder as Stinky rubbed her back.

"Hey, it's okay now. You're among friends." Stinky said to cheer her up.

"You can rest assured that something like that will never happen again." Phoebe said.

"Yeah, but if it _does_ happen again, just call me up and I'll find the guy." Sid said, and the gang laughed softly.

"Oh…" Lila sobbed, wiping her tears away and began to smile, "thank you ever so much everyone."

"Come on Lila." Helga said, smiling, "Us PS118 guys need to stick together right?" she couldn't believe she just said that.

Lila chuckled a bit, as she rubbed her eyes, "I suppose…"

"Of course we do!" Rhonda exclaimed, "Unless of course, they annoy each other…" and the gang laughed once more.

"Hey," Harold said, "We never really did give you a proper welcome ever since you came here Lila. So, how about we celebrate it after school at Slausen's, huh?" the whole gang laughed again.

"Aw man." Gerald said, chucking, "Always thinking with your stomach, huh, Harold?"

"Hey, I'm hungry!" Harold smiled back.

"Yeah, why not?" Nadine replied, "I think it's a good idea to welcome our newcomer." The decision was agreed unanimously by everyone. They then exchanged a few jokes and nostalgia around as they planned their celebration together. After the bell rang, they walked back into the building and talked to each other. Lila and Stinky was seen holding hands.

"Thank you ever so much Stinky for helping me back there." Lila said, sniffling softly as she smiled at him.

"It's not that big of a problem, Miss Lila." Stinky replied back, smiling. "Always glad to help a gal when she's in trouble."

Lila giggled softly at his remark, and then they both tighten their grasp on each other as they walked hand-to-hand into the school building. "I heard you're religious, Stinky."

**VII**

_Then after school we all went to the place where Harold suggested and we eat, drink, and talk. I couldn't believe it myself since I actually celebrated Lila's return. It was so surreal. She was my rival from way back in grade school and now I'm friends with the little red haired girl. I guess things do change after all. Hey, I contradicted myself. I hate it when I do that. Even so, with the newly formed friendship, I think I still do envy her… kinda… sorta… well, really._

_I know you're kinda lonely out there in San Lorenzo Arnold, (HA!) so here's a picture of Lila that Eugene recently took when we were at Slausen's so you can… I don't know, print it and laminate it. So it won't get wet and, keep it… ah, clean. Ew, what am I saying? Look just forget it you blockhead. _

_Deliberately ignoring copyright laws,_

_Peppermint Patty._

Helga smiled as she read the letter, and said to herself, "Hmm, I wonder if I can get Phoebe to call me 'Sir'? Heh. She'll probably scoffed at it and smack me around." Helga then saved her letter in a file, and opened her IM program.

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No afterthoughts here since I'm completely blank. Thanks for reading and please leave review.  



	9. Ep9: Nadine's Journey

_Author's Note: _Nadine never got her own episode before, which is kind of unfair since Gerald, Phoebe and Sid had their own. So I decided to write this one up. There are other reasons why I decided to write this one up, mainly I want to expand Sid and Nadine's character development by telling the readers about their past. Nadine's mother made an appearance in this story and she has some lines, because the last time she appeared in the Hey Arnold show was during the Parents Day episode, and she didn't have any lines at all. Also, I needed to write where does Nadine got her love for exotic animals and insects from. She had to get it from somewhere, and making her mother works as a zookeeper might just be crazy enough to work.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 9: Nadine's Journey

**I**

"_Hey Jamie. "_

"_Yeah, Adam?"_

"_I heard there's a myth on the Internet that if you write fanfics, you'll be cool and popular."_

_Both Jamie and Adam looked at one another awkwardly._

"_Busted."_

"_Totally, irrevocably busted."_

Then Helga clicked a button on the remote, flicking to another channel. She was in the living room, wasting her idle time by watching television. It was also at night currently, but nobody was home, with the exception of her sister, no doubt on the phone talking to her friend about the Seaside Fair that just started a few days ago. She was very annoyed at her sister currently, walking around the house with the phone on her ears, babbling incoherently to her friend. Helga was hoping that she'd finally find a place to sit away from her, but unfortunately her wish was not granted and Helga then decided to go to her room. Olga then took the opportunity to take the television over from Helga and watch her favorite show.

Upon arriving inside the room, Helga gazed at the calendar, and noticed that it had been three days now since Nadine arrived in San Lorenzo. No doubt in her mind that Nadine and Arnold were fooling, goofing around with one another by now, a thought that really sparked Helga jealousy towards her friend. Then again, it was just a crazy assumption though, since the relationship between Arnold and Nadine was largely platonic and it wouldn't go as far as that. Regular friendship and all that stuff. But if they do cross that line, Arnold would've owe Sid tons of explanation. And _nobody_ wants to mess with Sid. Still, with all these thoughts, Helga remained calm and told to herself that she was just being paranoid. She began to laugh at herself just for thinking that Arnold and Nadine were up to something.

Suddenly, she felt the urge to write a letter to Arnold. Possibly to calm her nerves and to do something productive during her idle time. She then reached a pen and a paper, put them on the table and started to write away.

_Hello there Mr. Tourist Guide,_

_I was hoping to hear from you after Nadine and her mom arrived in San Lorenzo. I guess you got so busy that you've forgot to write to little old me apparently. Hehe, I'm not that bothered about it, really. I bet she must be pretty thrilled to see you after all these years. I mean, when _was_ the last time all of us met? _

Helga then stopped writing for a while, reflecting on her words. She let out a weak breath and said to herself, "Wow… has it been _that_ long? Man, I really miss you Arnold…" she said weakly, and her eyes began to brim with tears. But she quickly wiped her tears and shrugged her longing for Arnold away, and tried to remain in character as she continued to write the letter.

_You know, I was the first one to know that she was going to San Lorenzo, rather than Rhonda. Rather surprising, huh? Well, it started out like this…_

**II**

"Hey Nadine. Thanks for picking me as your lab partner. Truth to be told, you're my first absolute choice too, really." Helga said as she entered Nadine's room. This actually was Helga's first visit to her house in several years.

"Yeah, likewise." Nadine replied back as she picked up a packet of dried animal food and put them into a tray inside of her turtle cage. Helga just looked at Nadine in amazed wonderment. She really does like animals, a unique characteristic of hers that never diminished even she now was in her teen years. She then went over to her window and snapped up some leaves from a huge tree and put them into her insect cage, literally filled with exotic insects such as a huge beetle and some stick insects to feed them. And apparently, she still _does_ like insects to this day too. But the animal in Nadine's collection that shocked Helga the most was a big, huge dangerous snake that was being cared in a special huge glass container in a corner of her room.

"Isn't that…" Helga pointed at the snake with her visibly shaken hand, "our fourth grade pet snake, uh… what's its name…" Helga tried to remember its name while snapping her fingers repeatedly, "Georgie?"

"Yup." Nadine replied coolly as she climbed up a small ladder to the opening of the container. "Mr. Simmons was kind enough to let me keep him as a pet after we finished fourth grade."

"Mostly likely you're the _only_ person who asked him for that critter." Helga spoke silently to herself as she watched Nadine feed the snake with some medicated raw meat. "Is he dangerous?" she then took a seat on Nadine's bed.

"Well, he has been fed, so it should be okay… most of the time." Nadine replied back as she climbed down from the ladder. "Now on to business. I think have an excellent idea for our assignment." And then she walked up to her desk in searching for a book. Helga on the other hand, still had her mind lingering about the mini zoo that Nadine had in her room.

"Won't these animals kill you in your sleep or something?" Helga asked, as Georgie looked at Helga menacingly while hissing at her.

Nadine rolled her eyes around, starting to get annoyed with Helga's questions. Still, she decided to answer back, in hoping that it'd make her shut up and wouldn't ask her those stupid questions again. "I check their cages twice every week so they'll remain escape proof, so I've got nothing to worry about. Still, there was an incident a year ago where my black widow escaped and bit me."

Helga widened her eyes in shock and alarm, "Were you okay?"

"Of course, duh!" Nadine replied back, "I milked its venom a day before it escaped. So I guess I was kinda lucky back then."

Nadine actually made Helga scared as she looked at her in disbelief. As if all these animals weren't enough, she had to tell Helga that she actually proficient in controlling these creatures. She was one of a kind. "Don't you have any… normal pets? Like a cat or something?" Helga asked good-naturedly, smiling at Nadine.

Nadine chuckled back, in realization that Helga began to warm up with her bizarre collection of exotic animals, "Nah, normal pets are boring. But yeah, I had one once, if you count squirrel as 'normal'."

"Yeah?" Helga smiled at her.

"I called her Sandy. It was a gift from my dad when he was in Texas a few years back. It didn't do much except for chillin' on a sponge all day."

"So what happened to Sandy?" Helga asked back.

Nadine let out a deep sigh, and pointed to Georgie, "Alas, poor Sandy was a cruel victim of nature's grand and wondrous food chain." Then the both of them gave Sandy a moment of silence, as they put both of their head down in respect for poor Sandy.

"All right. Enough with this." Nadine said, after much mourning. "Okay, this is what we're going to do." She said in front of Helga, eagerly want to present her idea. Then suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Nadine, baby? You're home?" a female voice called behind the closed door.

"Mom?" Nadine said to herself incredulously as she gazed at her alarm clock next to her bed. "It's too early for her to be at home right now. I wonder what she wants." Nadine said to Helga.

"Probably there's a breakout at the zoo or something." Helga guessed randomly. It didn't amused Nadine though, since there actually was an incident in the zoo where a zookeeper was almost killed by a lion several years before.

"Ha-ha, very funny." Nadine replied sarcastically as she walked out from her room as Helga followed her from behind. "Mom?" Nadine said upon opening the door for her mother, "Why you're home from the zoo so soon? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine honey. You know I took my medication before I left home, like I always do." Nadine mom's replied back, and she noticed Helga behind her daughter, "Oh, I didn't know you have a visitor. You're Helga, aren't you?"

Helga gave Nadine's mother a smile and greeted, "Yeah, it's me, all right. Hi Mrs.—" suddenly the cuckoo clock toll, thus making Nadine's family name to be inaudible.

"Well, the boss let me out early today so I can tell you this great news, honey!" Nadine's mom said.

"What is it?" Nadine said, getting excited.

"You still want to go to San Lorenzo?" Nadine's mother asked, and Nadine nodded. Helga was taken aback, and she decided to listen to their conversation attentively.

"Turns out that they still need one more keeper to handle the jaguars, and I just volunteered!" she spread both of her arms and both mother and daughter began to squeal joyfully. Nadine quickly embraced her mom as a mean to say thank you to her for making her wishes come true. Helga just stood there stunned, looking at them with a warm smile. Still she was a bit upset that Nadine was the first person to go there first rather than herself. Nadine then released her grasp from her mom and turned around to Helga.

"Oh. MY. GOSH!" she said joyfully. "I can't wait to see Arnold after all these years!"

Suddenly, Helga felt her heart skipped a beat, and her lung began to collapse. _"Oh… my… gosh…"_ Helga thought dreadfully.

**III**

_Next day in school… in the cafeteria…_

"Oh. My. Gosh!" Rhonda said euphorically to Nadine after she told her the good news, "So you're _actually_ going to San Lorenzo to meet Arnold?"

"Well, technically I'll be there to assist my mom with the animal relocation program. If I have some time to spare, I could give Arnold a visit, _if_ I had the time."

"I mean no offence Nadine, but you're not professionally trained for this type of animal. Isn't it ever so risky for you to assist your mother with such a dangerous task?" Lila asked her.

"Lila, what are you talking about?" Rhonda said to Lila, "This is _Nadine_ we're talking about! The only girl I know who isn't squeamish about holding a giant tarantula or handling a huge snake in her hands!"

"And don't forget that she's the only girl who isn't afraid of my frog attack!" Sid said in a complimentary voice. "I remember back when we were in the fifth grade, I threw a frog onto her face, but she awesomely managed to catch it in time and proceeded to stuff it in my pants!" The whole gang laughed, "Boy, did I dance for hours or what!"

"And then… and then…" Stinky said, barely containing his laughter, "You gots dem rashes 'round ya butt for weeks!" and the whole gang laughed again, with the exception of Sid, whose face began to redden in embarrassment.

"All right, that's enough." Sid said, playfully shoving Stinky away.

Still retaining her smile, Nadine gave her explanation to Lila, "While I appreciate the concern, but girl, you don't have to get all worked up about it. Including my mother, there will be a team of several American zookeepers and San Lorenzan vets to help the jaguars out. They will be sedated before the journey and thoroughly checked by the hours until they arrive in The States. My duty is just to document the relocation mission and if possible, help the vets with the jaguars, and that's all to it."

"Nadine:" Sid said proudly, in a subtle attempt to hit on her, "future documentarian for International Geographic." This was actually what Nadine aspired to be when she grew older. Sid knew about her dreams because he developed a liking towards her. There had been hints throwing around between them, but they never actually seem to really respond to them.

"Thanks, Sid." Nadine replied, smiling. "Someday." She hoped. Then the gang began to talk again about Nadine's impending trip to San Lorenzo. Helga was there. She was happy for Nadine, but couldn't help but to feel uneasy about her trip, since there could be a slight, small possibility that Nadine and Arnold would eventually become a couple. Noticing her best friend's typical restless look, Phoebe said to Helga:

"Are you okay, Helga?" Phoebe asked, "You look disturbed…"

"What? Huh?" Helga replied back, snapping out from her paranoia, "Don't be ridiculous Phoebe. I'm not troubled by the fact that Nadine is going to San Lorenzo first rather than me!" But Phoebe narrowed her eyes, and look deeply into Helga's eyes, making her feel guilty about lying to her best friend, "Well… I do… sorta… kinda… have… a bit of uneasiness about she going there."

Phoebe had always known Helga's dark secret since they were in grade school, but never actually talk about it in honesty. It was always subtle, accompanied with analogies and not directly approaching the real subject matter. In order to calm her friend down, she replied, "I think she doesn't pose any… threats, Helga. Oh my gosh. Perhaps I chose the words too freely. 'Threat' is _not_ a good word to describe her as of now."

"Then what word would you choose to describe her?" Helga asked again.

"Intimidation, maybe?" Phoebe chimed back, smiling nervously at Helga.

Helga then clasped her hands over her face and said, "I'm _so_ doomed…"

_Later after school…_

"You're worried that your girl might fall into Arnold's hands?" Gerald said playfully as he smacked Sid's back. "There's still chance before she left the country, ya know what I'm saying?"

"Dude, you're not even making sense." Sid replied back as he and Gerald disregarded the 'Don't Walk' sign on the traffic light and walked away. "It's Arnold we're talking about here, man. The truest, most honest guy we know."

"Still, _technically_ you're not actually hers, homes." Gerald replied back. "If ya wanna Nadine as your girl, you better do it now. I mean, you've got nothing to lose. Look at yourself man, you've turned soft because of her, that's why you're not involved in lotsa fights nowadays. Heck, she even advises you when you're in trouble. And _you_, you always been courteous towards her, and that means something!"

"Yeah…" Sid replied, realizing the great potential, "Why didn't I think of it before? We're meant for each other! I'm… I'M…!" he said loudly as Gerald looked at him with a snicker, "I'M GOING TO THINK ABOUT IT!"

Gerald shook his head in disbelief while still had that smile across his face, and said to him, "Careful man, the paranoia will build inside your head."

**IV**

"Nadine, while you're there in San Lorenzo, be sure to buy me one of those handcrafted sarongs that I heard so much. It'd look great if I wear them along with my bikini." Rhonda said, trying to ignore a giant spider in a cage next to her face. She was in Nadine's room helping her friend to prepare for her trip to San Lorenzo. "By the way, how long you'll be staying there?"

"About a month or so." Nadine replied as she looked at her wardrobe, deciding which clothes she should bring to a tropical country.

"That long?" Rhonda asked back, in disbelief, "Just how long does it take to send a few dumb animals to the US, anyway?"

"Well, it should've been just two weeks actually, but one of the jaguars escaped and another is critically ill all of the sudden."

"Man, one whole month without school, and you're going to a tropical country to escape the coldness of the current weather." Rhonda said back, "What a great vacation you're going to!"

Nadine chuckled softly and turned around to see Rhonda. "Well, technically I'm not going to a vacation since I have some work to do, but hopefully I'll find time to relax at their beach or something. Mom did say this trip should be proven to be an educational experience for me, but I'll probably get myself a tan there rather than doing those… 'educational' stuff." And Rhonda laughed softly. Nadine then brought some of her clothes to Rhonda.

"Have you told Arnold that you're coming?" Rhonda asked, as she put them neatly inside of Nadine's large baggage.

"I just did. I sent him an email last night. Right now I'm just waiting for him reply back." she turned around, and showed Rhonda an article of clothing to her, "Do you think I should bring this with me?"

Rhonda looked at the sort of ugly looking shirt and said, "Definitely… if you want to offend the local people." Nadine scoffed, throwing the shirt back into the closet. She then walked up to her bed and lay down next to her friend. Rhonda looked at her, and noticed a somewhat sad, depressing look on her face, "You're okay? I thought you like going to San Lorenzo."

"Don't get me wrong, Rhonda… I love it. It's just… I dunno… I'm just concerned. With I'm gone for a while, who's going to keep a eye on Sid?"

"Come on, it's just one month." Then suddenly Rhonda realized something. She smiled softly to her best friend. So Nadine finally let her true feelings out to her best friend, whom she had speculated about her relationship with Sid, "You… like him, don't you?"

"I'm his voice of reason, Rhonda." Nadine replied back, getting up, "It always has been that way since we were in grade school. I really fear he'd do something really stupid when I'm not around. I mean, just how many times you hear him got into a fight or mugged a guy when I'm around?"

"I know it's an undeniable proof that you're softening him up Nadine, but just because you two are thousands of miles apart, doesn't mean your hearts are. Look, I don't really like Sid that much, and I don't see him as the same way as you do, but if you really care for him, maybe you should call this off."

"No… no! I can't!" Nadine replied back, strongly opposing the notion. "My mom would be _so_ upset. I practically begged for her to take that relocation job in San Lorenzo, and then the opportunity came… I… I just can't turn back away from her!"

"Then you have to do something. Time's running out and you only got until tomorrow." Rhonda replied back. Then suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Nadine?"

"Mom?" Nadine said back, and her mom opened the door, "Have you finished packing yet?"

"I'm just about finished, thanks to Rhonda." Nadine smiled at her mom along with Rhonda.

"Hi Mrs. —" suddenly there was a loud crash in the alley, where a trash can was knocked down by two fighting cats.

"That's good. You know, all this packing is making me thirsty. You girls wanna come down and have some ice-cream or something?" Nadine's mom asked, and both of the girls agreed unanimously. They then got up and the three of them proceeded down to the kitchen. As Nadine was on her last flight of stairs, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Nadine then proceeded to the front door, and to her surprise, it was Sid. "Oh, hey, Sid. What are you doing here?"

"Oh… hey… hi… Nadine…" Sid replied nervously like an edgy schoolboy. Realizing that he was acting like a dork, he calmed his composure down and coolly said to Nadine, "I'm just in the neighborhood and I saw your house. Your big, blue house…" he felt like slapping himself for being stupid. At this time, Rhonda emerged from behind, looking at them at a few distance away.

"This should be humorous…" Rhonda said to herself, smiling evilly.

"The Seaside Fair has just started." Sid said, smiling a goofy smile at Nadine.

"What a coincidence." Nadine smiled back.

"Hey, if you're not doing anything, would you like to take a walk around the pier and have some… I don't know… taffy or something?"

Still retaining her smile, Nadine replied, "Are you asking me out?"

Sid was stunned, and gazed nervously at Nadine for a few seconds before he finally got the guts to answer back, "Yes... I am asking you out." By now Sid was sweating all over.

Nadine contemplated over it, while Sid waited for her answer. Nadine turned around and Rhonda gave an encouragement by giving her thumbs up sign. Then, "Yeah why not." Sid was relieved. "Right after ice-cream."

**V**

Like any other clichéd, overdone plot device, the evening in the fair began with a series of montage where Nadine and Sid entering the fair holding their hands together. They went to various stalls and stands, trying all sorts of carnival food and games. And since Sid was proficient with guns and all, he won Nadine a huge chicken and penguin plushie. Though neither animals were Nadine's favorite animal, she accepted them sincerely, though she would question how should they carry them back home without anyone staring at them. After a ride at a Ferris wheel, where they could see Gerald and Phoebe at a cotton candy booth, they then walked to the end of a pier, overlooking the brightly lit city with both of the stuffed animals in their hands. After admiring the view without any conversation being exchanged between them, Sid finally got enough courage to talk to her.

"Thanks for going out with me Nadine. I hope it wasn't too abrupt… showing in front of your house unceremoniously and all that."

Nadine chuckled softly, and replied, "Nah, it's cool. Somehow, I was expecting it for some disturbing reason."

"Yeah, I know. I'm creepy." Sid replied back good-naturedly. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"What?"

"The city." Sid replied back. "Hey, I'm no poet. Though we don't usually get a lot of stars in the city, but looking at the skyscrapers basking in light, in all its glory with the moon up above shining the earth with its luminous light, it really makes you feel all warm and cozy and marvel at just how much we've accomplished as human beings."

"I guess." Nadine tended to agree. She questioned herself why a former thug like Sid would talk to her something as soothing as this, "That is, the pollution doesn't get into our heads first." Both Nadine and Sid laughed softly.

"And uh... thanks for inviting me inside for the ice-cream earlier." Sid said, whilst rubbing the back of his head for some reason.

"Oh, stop it. You've been thanking me for that for several times already." Nadine smiled, "I think I'm kind of getting weary of listening to it."

"Hey, I really enjoyed the ice-cream, mind you. Even with your mom looking at me with her cold, glassy, distrustful stare." Nadine then playfully jabbed Sid on his shoulder for making fun of her mom, and the both of them laughed. They resumed watching the beautiful view.

"To be honest with you, Gerald had something to do with me asking you out today."

"Man, I'm _so _going to kill him for this." Nadine replied jokingly, as she hugged the stuffed penguin tighter, "What did he contribute?"

Sid then looked at Nadine, as she gazed at him back, "Well, he's the one basically made me realize the truth about the relationship between us." he replied, "You're more than just a friend, Nadine. You are my voice of reason, you give me strength, you give me meaningful advises and you care a lot about me, even though I am not much in the eyes of society."

"I disagree, Sid." Nadine replied, gazing deeply into his eyes back, "In these past few years, you've changed a lot. You weren't violent as you used to. You actually stand up for your friends and help them out. You've been kind towards your family. If only you will remain like that…"

Sid then suddenly interjected, and spoke softly to her, "And I will, for you…" as he moved her face nearer towards Nadine.

"Don't break that promise."

"I won't." and they finally gave each other their first kiss. And as soon as they were kissing, fireworks began to shoot up into the sky, dazzling the viewers with their awesome display. It was all ignored by Sid and Nadine, as they wanted to cherish this moment forever.

"Yaaarrr…" Sheena's Uncle Earl growled as he went pass the young couple on his boat, "The both of ye aren't supposed to be doin' that in public, for there be plenty of eyes lookin' at ya."

**VI**

_The day after… in Helga's room…_

Helga gazed at the clock on her computer. Anytime now, Nadine will leave for the airport, thus making her first step to San Lorenzo. Helga was getting restless, beginning to enter into a state of chaos. She tried to tell herself repeatedly over and over again that she was just being extremely paranoid, but try as she might she couldn't shake away the feeling that Arnold might confess to Nadine about his feelings about her. Anything could happen in that span of one month. And if Arnold did confess to her, any chance of Helga to confess her love to Arnold will be forever gone. And she didn't want that to happen.

She asked herself, should she come clean to Nadine and admit that she loved Arnold, just like she did to Lila when she was in the fourth grade? She had done that before, and she preferred that she wouldn't want to do that again, ever. But with time running short and she had no idea on how to keep Arnold away from Nadine; she was now left with no other option than to tell Nadine about Arnold. Still, she wished there would be some other way, but as of right now, she couldn't find any other suitable way. She then reluctantly left her house and trudged to Nadine's home and hoped that along the way, she'd find the words that would be subtle enough for Nadine to remain with Arnold as friends and not knowing her deepest darkest secret, or preferably, she could find an idea to skip this whole thing to begin with.

She wished she wasn't as paranoid as this…

Helga rang the doorbell, and waited for the answer. After a few moments, Nadine opened the door, and was somewhat surprised to see Helga at the door. "Oh, hey Helga."

Helga raised and eyebrow. Judging from her appearance, Nadine was about ready to leave for the airport. "Oh, sorry. Did I catch you in a bad time? I can see you all up and ready for the big trip."

"Nah, we're expected to be at the airport no more than two hours before our flight departs, so… I've got plenty of time." Nadine replied back, "So, what up? Look, I'm sorry I had to bail out from the assignment, but—"

"No, no. Not a problem at all." Helga replied, waving her hand dismissively. "It's just…"

"Yeah?"

Helga was very reluctant to tell Nadine about Arnold, as she stared awkwardly at her for a prolonged time, making Nadine confused and uncomfortable at her nervous stare. She tried to say it to her, but the only words that came out from her mouth was just a string of nervous sounded voice that stutters worriedly, "I uh… ya know… and, but… oh…"

"Uh… huh…?" Nadine replied in confusion. She wondered what the heck Helga wanted to say to her.

"I uh…" she suddenly thought up another completely unrelated topic that randomly popped in her mind, and abruptly said to her. "Snakes!"

"Snakes?" Nadine thought Helga had lost it.

"Yeah, Snakes… like Gorgie! Are you going to bring him along too?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, it's going to be like he's on a plane! Like a… snake… on a plane! Get it? Snakes… on a plane? Heh heh…" Helga laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head. _"Oh… this isn't going anywhere…"_

"Girl… you're scaring and confusing me…" Nadine said, as she slowly tried to make her way into her house without Helga noticing it.

"NO! WAIT!" Helga snapped back, and Nadine stopped, noticing that Helga was serious this time. "I… I just have to tell you something before you leave for San Lorenzo. Sorry for freaking you out."

"Okay…" Nadine replied. "Let's hear it." Nadine then sat on the stoop of her house and invited Helga to sit next to her. Helga complied with the invitation.

After contemplating thoroughly about the future consequences if she told Nadine her secrets, Helga then reluctantly asked, "When you're there, are you staying at Arnold's house?"

"No, not really." Nadine replied back, "Though he did promise me to meet at the airport when I arrive. I think me and my mom will be living in some rented house at Bolivar I think. I'll tell you as soon as we've sort this thing out."

"Bolivar?"

"It's San Lorenzo's capital. There's been quite a scare there since one of the jaguars escaped. I hope nobody there will get hurt."

"Yeah…" Helga replied back, sharing the same sentiment as Nadine does. Then, after much thought, she then decided to tell Nadine her deepest secret, even with her logic strongly opposed the idea, "Nadine, I have something to tell you about me and Arnold…" she said weakly, after putting much emotion into it.

"You do?" Nadine replied, somewhat shocked, "Somehow, I've been suspecting this for a long time."

Helga widened her eyes in shock, "You… do?" Helga said disbelievingly. Did she know her secrets? Did that rat Rhonda told her about this?

"Of course. I know how you feel. Heck, we all do."

"Huh?" Helga replied, realizing that Nadine actually did not know her secret just yet.

"We're all his friends, Helga." Nadine replied back, "Of course we all do miss him from time to time. And I'm really surprised that, for someone who has hated him for so long, you actually do have a soft spot for him." She smiled at Helga.

"Oh… yeah…" Helga laughed weakly in disbelief, "that…"

"It's okay. It shows that you've finally matured and you don't let your blind hatred for him control your life." Nadine said, smiling at her.

"Nadine…" Helga said back. Although she was kind of relief to know that Nadine didn't know her love for Arnold, she was kind of upset that she had to tell Nadine her deepest secret, "I think you've got it all wrong. You see… I… uh, well, I'm… in lo—"

"Hey, it's Sid." Nadine suddenly stood up and waved at him. Helga was angered. She was in the mood and Sid had to spoil it for her. Sid then quickened his pace and ran up to the stoop and finally gave Nadine a passionate kiss on the lips. Helga was getting more and more confused after seeing the display.

"You two?" Helga pointed her finger at the both of them, "But… how? When?"

"It's long story." Sid replied, smiling at Helga.

"No it's not." Nadine replied giddily, "It just happened yesterday!"

"Regardless, it's still a long story." Sid replied back, smiling at his new girlfriend.

"So… you two… finally…?" Helga replied, and a wide smile began to carve on her face, in realization that if Nadine and Sid were actually, officially together, any chance of Arnold falling for Nadine will be unthinkable. Nadine and Sid nodded happily at Helga.

"Hey, that's great!" Helga jumped from her seat and congratulated the both of them. "I'm happy for you two!" And she was happy for herself too. "So what are you doing here, Sid?"

"Hey, can't a good guy like me say to his girl a sound goodbye before she leaves the country?" Sid replied happily.

"Does anyone else know about this?" Helga asked, wanting to know about it herself.

"Other and you and Rhonda, I don't think so." Nadine replied, "Please keep it a secret Helga. I'm planning to tell everyone about this later."

"And how do you want to do that?" Helga replied, smiling at them.

"That's… a secret." Nadine smiled at Sid, and they kissed again. "So Helga, about you and Arnold. What did you want to say to me before?"

Helga had completely forgotten about that. But with this new twist of events, she now can coolly say, "Oh, it's nothing important. Just forget about it."

**VII**

_I'm happy for them, really. And you better not make anything stupid that's going to get Sid mad. But then again, it's you. We all know you well. You're just not going to do it. You're flippin' Boy Scout for cryin' out loud. I think that is the reason why people like you so much. Sure, you can be irritating with your goody two shoes attitude sometimes Football Head, but hey, you're a nice guy – and I'm so glad for that._

_Be sure to give Nadine and her mom a tour around the country, and bring them to the village of the Green-Eyed people that you've been telling us so much. I'm sure she'd love to see it. Well, I guess that's that. I hope you're happy now that you've finally see an old friend of yours after all these years. _

_I want some souvenirs,_

_Helga._

Helga pondered about whether she should send the mail or not. "Yeah… why not? Just this once." She smiled to herself. She then put the letter in an envelope, write Arnold's address on it and finally she applied a stamp on it. She then walked out and put it into the nearest mailbox she could find. "Mission accomplished."

_The next day in school, lunch hour…_

"Everyone look! I just got a letter from Nadine!" Rhonda said happily as she showed her friends the letter high in the air. The gang then gathered around her and waited impatiently for her to open the envelope. Inside there were dozens of picture along with letters attached. The first thing that Rhonda took out from the envelope was pictures that Nadine and Arnold snapped, and she distributed them to everyone so they all could enjoy it. Nadine and Arnold looked very happy in those pictures. Mostly it was just the two of them in the pictures, posing with goofy looks and silly faces and whatnot. And some of them contained a picture of various sceneries in San Lorenzo, and there was one with a group picture of Arnold and Nadine with their respective parents.

While the letters, had been noted specifically to its receiver. 'For Sid's eyes only', one letter said. It was obviously for Sid. And everyone started to look at Sid and playfully made some loud hooting noises to embarrass him. Gerald shook his hand and said:

"Welcome to the Interracial Relationship Club my friend!" and the both of them laughed out loud.

'Hey Guys', another letter said. It was a letter from Arnold to his friends. Gerald quickly took it and read it aloud to his friends.

"So that's why he can't use the Internet often…" Eugene said, nodding. "San Lorenzo really needs to upgrade its infrastructure." And as Gerald read Arnold's letter, Helga felt safe in her mind that her beloved Arnold was still, for her alone. And she hoped she'd confess to him on time before anything could happen to jeopardize her future relationship with him. She could say that she was selfish, but as long as Arnold remained with her, hopefully, in the near future, it would be a blissful relationship in the end, in favor to her.

She also wanted to kick herself for being so stupidly paranoid about Nadine and Arnold.

* * *

Why Nadine and Sid, you ask? Well, fans (mostly creepy fangirls) have been paired them up together for some reason, and I just follow them, you know, like a sheep. It's amazing why Nadine never had her own episode before, which really blows my mind. Oh well. Thanks for reading and please leave a review.  



	10. Ep10: Driver's Test

_Author's Note: _I think it's time to tell stories about Helga's family, rather than her friends. I mean, that's what the title **_The Patakis _**supposed to do - to tell stories about Helga's family. So here for the first time, a story with complete involvement from all of Helga's family. Enjoy.

* * *

**Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.**

Episode 10: Driver's License

Bob Pataki was waiting anxiously in the dining room for his daughters to return back. He was sitting on the chair, with his elbows on the table and had a long face while looking at his wife sipping a cup of freshly made jasmine green tea. He grumbled, and said to his wife, "For cryin' out loud, Miriam. How could you stay calm in a time like this?"

"Oh, try to be optimistic, B." Miriam said cheerfully after sipping the tea. B was a pet name that Miriam had called her husband for some time. "The girls will return back, and Helga will pass the test with flying colors."

"She better be." Bob grumbled back, "No daughter of mine is going to fail a driver's test! It's not the Pataki way!" And then, they heard a car pulling into the garage, and the engine died down. "Finally!" Bob said it out loud, raising his fists in front of him. He then tried to get up from his seat, but was stopped by his wife.

"Now, now. Relax B." Miriam said to calm him down, "Let them come here and tell us the news." Bob then sat back down, mumbling something under his breath. They could hear footsteps, and Helga and Olga emerged at the kitchen entrance. The looks on their faces were entirely passive.

"Well?" Bob asked.

"I have good news, and a bad news." Helga replied, producing two fingers at his father. Bob didn't like the sound of it at all. He hoped that Helga would be more straight-to-the-point, because he couldn't contain his anxiety over this. The wait was too unbearable for him.

"Okay, give me the good news first." he responded back, greatly anticipating a positive answer from Helga.

"I managed to complete the driver's test." Helga replied, while still maintaining her neutral expression.

"AND…?" Bob raised his voice slightly. He was a bit upset that Helga just wouldn't want to tell him straight away. "The bad news would be?"

Helga started to smile, and replied, "You now have a teenage driver in da house!" spreading her arms wide. This was a huge relief for Bob, and he instantly got up from his seat and proceeded to hug Helga joyfully. Miriam too, didn't want to miss the opportunity and joined them. And Olga too.

"Oh… I'm so proud of you girl!" Bob said proudly, after releasing his hug. Helga was happy too that she finally had something to make her father praise her instead of Olga almost 24/7. After the eventful and yet, seldom moment of family bonding, they all went back to their lives… but not before Bob declared that he'd bring the whole family for a treat in honor of Helga passing her driver's test. He asked them to get prepared and in 30 minutes he expected all of the family members to be at the living room. Helga then rushed to her room and opened her laptop. The first person she wanted to tell was surprisingly, Arnold, rather than her best friend, Phoebe.

_Hello Tokyo drifter,_

_I've finally done it. After months of toiling and hard work, my efforts have finally paid off. You're now looking at a new driver's license holder, Arnold! You know how big of a power does a driver's license holder wields? That's what I thought. Hey, I know you've been driving way earlier than me, so just shut up :). I'm having my own moment here, so don't ruin it for me. Man, how time flies. It seemed like it was just yesterday when I first took the wheel._

**II**

"So the driving test is tomorrow, Helga?" Phoebe replied through the phone while playing videogames on her television. "Shouldn't you be doing some practicing before the day ends?"

"Yeah, I should." Helga nodded back, flipping a page of a novel she was reading on her bed. "I'm waiting for my dad to get ready so he could instruct me with this. Ugh." She scoffed. "Like I really need more lessons from him. I practically know every thing there is to about driving."

"Helga, don't be arrogant." Phoebe warned her. "Remember the first time when you were behind the wheel?"

"Ugh!" she scoffed back again. "Don't remind me about that Pheebs."

"And you drove his Hummer too." Phoebe said, beginning to smile.

"Please! Not another word." Helga replied back. "Arrgh! Now look at what you've done! You just brought the horrible, horrible memory of the living nightmare that was me in the early stages of driving with Bob back in my mind! Thanks a lot Pheebs!"

"_Okay Helga." Bob said while pointing to the front. "Now there's a red light up ahead, so I want you to slow the car down by _slowly_ pressing the brake down." Suddenly there was a screeching noise coming out from the rear wheel and the both of them were thrown to the front. The engine stopped. Thank goodness for seatbelts. "I said _slow_, not _abruptly_!" Bob yelled at Helga._

"_Well, excuse me while I'm trying to _learn_, dad!" Helga retorted back. "You know, I would've done it better if you just stop with the yelling! I'm sitting next to you for cryin' out loud! It's not like I'm living on the other side of the mountain!"_

_Bob wanted to yell at her back. He even had his finger pointing at Helga and his eyes looking at his daughter angrily in response to her excuse. But, Bob tried to calm back, and he slowly retracted his hand away. "All right. All right…" Bob sighed. "Let's continue, okay? Start the engine." And Helga started the engine. "And next time," Bob warned, "if you wanna stop, just don't do it in the middle of the road."_

_Just then an old man in a very expensive car drove next to Helga and opened his window, "You young whippersnapper don't belong on the road! The government made a mistake letting you punks taking the driver's license at such a young age! Hmmph!" he shouted at Helga angrily. He then drove on, and other cars behind him took the opportunity to scold Helga's incompetence in driving. Helga glared angrily at them back with her face red with embarrassment. Bob just shook his head while rubbing his forehead._

"_You just want to sit here and let those people insult you?" Bob said to her. "Drive." He then pointed to the left. "Turn to the left."_

_Helga groaned in frustration, and did what she was instructed. She gave the signal._

"_I said turn left!" Bob bellowed out._

"_I _am_ turning left!"_

"_Then why are you giving the signal to the _right_?"_

_Helga looked at the dashboard. Her father was right: she was giving the signal to turn right, while turning to the left. "Oh, for the love of Crimeny!" Helga said out loud in frustration, and she immediately turned the signal to left, while turning the steering wheel, juggling the tasks. The car then swayed around, nearly hitting the car coming from the opposite flow but Helga managed to put the car back into the right lane, with much help from Bob. Both of them were breathing heavily while looking at the front with their eyes wide in horror. Bob had his hand clutching his daughter's hand on the steering wheel tightly while Helga had her other hand placed on her heart._

_After the scene was somewhat calm again, Bob looked at Helga and again, he was struck in horror. "Both. Hands. On. The steering wheel." He said slowly, still being horrified by the near-death experience. "And both of your eyes on the road. Please. I beg you."_

"_Oh! Sorry!" Helga replied back weakly, looking back to the front and had both of her hands on the steering wheel._

"_Helga… pull over to that tree for a while…" Bob said faintly while pointing to a tree nearby. Helga then nodded nervously and did like what she'd been told to. She then stopped the engine, and the both of them sighed aloud in relief. After a few calm seconds, as they gathered their thoughts, Bob said to Helga, "Helga, I think we have enough lessons for today. Let me drive home."_

"NO!_" Helga replied back, looking at Bob, trying to gain some sympathy for her, "I can do this, dad! You just gonna have to trust me on this! I can do it! I promise!" she begged for her dad to reconsider. Bob gazed back at her eyes, and sympathy began to grow. He knew it'd be a mistake, he just knew it, but he couldn't say no at her._

"_All right, you win, Helga." Bob replied, nodding weakly. And the lessons resumed. "Start the engine, give the RIGHT signal this time, and slowly drive back into the road."_

_Helga took a deep breath, and calmly, yet tensely she tried to do it again. The engine started, the signal was appropriate, but she kinda messed it up as she tried to get back into the road. She accidentally pushed the gas pedal slightly hard, jerking the car a bit. Bob sighed as he rubbed his forehead, but didn't say anything. He just wanted to get back home as quickly as possible. Helga was contemplatively paying attention on the road with her nervous looking eyes. She had her mind wondering around regarding the lesson, instead of focusing on the road. And this is what a good driver shouldn't do. You can't let your mind wander around while you're driving. And because of this, Helga did not realize there was a red light ahead and a bunch of cars in front of her until Bob snapped her back._

"_Brakes! HIT THE BRAKES!" Bob yelled in panic and Helga promptly snapped out of her distraction._

"_What?" she then noticed the car in front her was getting nearer and nearer, fast. "OMIGOSH!" she screamed out loud. But unlike any other driver supposed to do in a situation like this, instead of slamming the brakes she turned the steering wheel away, evading the car in front but unfortunately crashed into a fire hydrant. _

"_Oh, now look at you've done!" Bob yelled out loud. Water came gushing out and flooded the whole place. By now people began to crowd around the crash site._

**III**

"That is what I actually intended, Helga." Phoebe replied back, smiling broadly.

"Meh." Helga shrugged, "No worries." Replying back nonchalantly. "I'm much wiser now, so I don't think I will have any problems… hopefully."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, "Hey Helga, you're there?" It was Bob's voice.

"Ooh, I gotta go. Bob's here. I'll talk to you later Phoebe." Helga said to her friend.

"Yeah. Good luck with the driver's examination." And then the both of them put the phone down. After putting her book aside, Helga jumped out from her bed and went straight to the door to answer her father. "Yeah dad?"

"We're going after lunch." Bob replied back, "Your mom asked us to eat first before we give your training one last shot."

Helga shrugged, "Yeah, sure, whatever." Then, upon entering the dining room, they saw both Miriam and Olga setting up the table for lunch. Miriam was bringing the spread while Olga put the silverwares on the table. The respective family members took their seats and began to dig in.

"Your driver's test is tomorrow, isn't it right Helga?" Bob said with a mouthful of meat, while pointing at her with his fork.

"Yup." She replied back. She was slightly annoyed since this was the umpteenth time Bob had asked her. She really didn't want to talk much about it. "Pass the stuffing."

Bob grabbed the bowl of stuffing and gave it to Helga, "Who's going to take you there to the DMV?" Bob asked back.

"Jeez, Bob." Helga replied back, with a mouthful of stuffing. "I'm old enough to drive for crying out loud! I can manage myself."

Olga then gazed at her younger sister. She wanted to be by her side when Helga is taking the test. But she knew that Helga will reject her offer even before she started to talk. This thing was some sort of a rite-of-passage thing for everyone her age, and she didn't want to ruin for her. Still, she wanted to do at least something for Helga, and she had this idea that might just work.

"How about if I drive you to the DMV tomorrow, Helga?" Olga asked her. There was a clattering sound coming from Helga's seat. The knife fell on the table as Helga gazed a long look her sister. She even stopped munching her food.

"You're… kidding… right?" she said disbelievingly, and a piece of food flew out from her mouth.

"No I'm not, baby sister. I think this is a wonderful opportunity for us to bond as sisters." Olga replied back, smiling at her. Helga couldn't believe that she still used that stupid 'sister needs to bond' excuse to see her doing her driver's test. And just so suddenly, Helga felt she didn't have the strength to do the test anymore.

"Eh, that'll save some money on the fare." Bob shrugged again, as he tried to cut a piece of meat. "Just go with you sister, girl."

"But…" Helga replied back, trying to put Olga away from this, "Gas prices are much expensive nowadays. Shouldn't it be better if I just took the public transportation tomorrow?"

"Hey, hey ,hey!" Bob bellowed out, "I have a beef with the Mayor right now, so I'd appreciate it if you do your part and help me boycott them and their stupid plan to tear down the stadium!"

"What does _that_ have to do with me going to the DMV?" Helga replied back, raising her voice. "Seriously Bob, you're downright impossible sometimes!"

"Helga… Bob." Miriam said, as she looked at her daughter and her husband with her eyes twitching, "I think both of you should calm and quiet down… and think about it for a while." Both Helga and Bob were quiet now, with Bob leaning against his chair and Helga crossing her arms. "Good." Miriam said calmly, in an eerie calm so to speak, "I think your sister should drive you to the DMV Helga—"

"WHAT?" Helga yelled back in disbelief.

"Because if you won't let her… there will be…" this was where Miriam began to gaze at Helga with a dismal, eerie and frightening gaze, "severe… consequences…"

Helga looked back at her mother in fear, gulping. Olga and Bob shared the same fright too. She just recovered from her depression streak that she had been suffering ever since Helga was a child, and Helga wouldn't want to see her in that state again. Helga nodded back nervously, and replied, "O… off course. Anything for you, mother dearest!" she then smiled timidly at her. Bob gazed at the clock on the wall and thought this was the right time for Helga to start her final training.

"Hey, look at the time. C'mon Helga, it's time for your lesson!"

"Oh, yeah! Let's go! Now! Posthaste!" and they quickly got up, accidentally hit the table, clattering some of the plates and silverwares, and ran away from the dining table in panic as quickly as possible.

**IV**

"You're driving manual for the test tomorrow, right Helga?" Bob asked, as they entered the garage. Helga rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Yes, _dad_." She replied back, "I am driving the manual transmission shift, or in laymen terms: stick shift during the test which I will undertake tomorrow." She replied clearly and precisely so Bob wouldn't pester her more on obvious questions to obvious answers.

"Good." Bob nodded, "No daughter of mine is going to drive an auto. Okay… let's see what we got here." Bob switched the lights on, revealing his gas guzzling Hummer and Olga's rather girly looking car. He was a bit shocked, being conflicted which car he should choose for Helga's lesson. He wouldn't want to see the Hummer in Helga's hand again since he afraid that she would crash it, but on the other hand, he wouldn't want to be seen in Olga's car either. Her car was purple in color with flowers around and it smells funny inside. After much thinking, as Helga watching him contemplating about it, he finally declared, "Uh… let's take your sister's car, okay?"

"Dad, I'm _not_ going to drive Olga's _stupid_ looking car!" Helga replied, swiping her hand wide in front of her father.

"I can't _believe_ I'm driving Olga's _stupid_ looking car!" Helga grumbled angrily as she ignited the engine.

"Hey, I hate it too, but I'm not going to risk my car to a student driver like you." Bob replied back. "Remember the last time you totaled—"

"Yes… _Bob_!" Helga replied through her clenched teeth. She was totally disappointed that her own father wouldn't trust her behind his beloved car. No matter, when she passed the test, she will drive the Hummer, whether Bob like it or not. "You don't have to remind me about that."

"Right." Bob replied as he fastened his seatbelt. "First: what are we supposed to do?"

Helga rolled her eyes, getting annoyed from Bob's lack of confidence of her. She took a deep breath, and replied, "First: check all side and rearview mirrors, your seating and adjust them if necessary. Then, check all gauges, lights and signals to see whether they are working properly. Fasten my seatbelt. Thirdly, press the clutch, shift the gear, and release the handbrake. Finally, slowly release the clutch as you slowly press the gas pedal down." Helga did it without a hitch and they are finally on the road. "There. _Happy_?" Helga asked, looking at her father.

"Both eyes on the road." Bob replied nonchalantly, pointing to the front. Helga lowered an eyebrow, looking at his father with exasperation, and then returned her eyes to the front.

So Helga drove around the city, through streets and freeways, onramps and roads, bridge and overpasses under heavy observation from Bob. She obeyed the speed limit, every word of caution on the road, and stopped at every red light, but most importantly, she followed Bob's instructions. After half an hour of driving, Bob was thoroughly pleased with the result. "Not bad. Not bad at all. In fact, you're even better than your sister, girl." A broad smile carved on Helga's face. Finally, she found something that she could do even better than Olga.

"Thanks, dad." Helga replied, smiling. "It's nice to hear that from you."

Bob smiled back warmly at her. It was nice to see her smiling for once, rather than the usual frowning he often sees when he was talking with her. "All right. I think we should take a break for a while. Stop at that diner over there."

"Dad, we just had lunch."

"What, you're on a diet or something? C'mon, it's just a light snack. It won't fatten you up." Bob replied back, "Then again, you're too danged skinny. I think being a little fat would help a bit."

"Dad…" Helga replied back while shaking her head, slightly embarrassed and annoyed at her dad's teasing. Somehow, this was a pleasant moment between the two of them.

**V**

_The next day…_

"Oh goodie! I don't see any dents." Olga said after she thoroughly checked the exterior of her car. It was also a lighthearted tease to lighten Helga up for her upcoming test. But Helga could on only scoffed back, crossing her arms tightly.

"Whatever, just drive me to the DMV. I got a lot of crap from dad yesterday and I don't want you add it more as it is." She replied back, as she entered the car. She then slammed the door and then crossed her legs and arms, looking angry as ever. But Olga just smiled back, being amused by her little sister's reaction.

The journey was a long one for Helga, as she was being very irritated by Olga's choice of music as it being played. It was one of that overplayed and annoying crappy pop music that she hated so much. Even worse, Olga was singing to it. The combination of crappy music and Olga's singing voice annoyed Helga so much, that she decided to change to her favorite radio station. Finally, some rockin' music that she could listen to. Olga was shocked to see Helga abruptly changed the station without asking her first. She then retaliated by changing the channel back, much to Helga's chagrin. She then returned fire, and then the both of them wrestled for the radio. Suddenly, the fuse inside the radio burned up, and the sound died down.

"Oh, nice going, baby sister." Olga replied, "Now my radio is totally broken."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Helga replied back, similarly akin to Bob's tone, "You're the one who decided to drive me there. This never would've happen if I just take the subway!"

"Okay… okay…" Olga replied, "Let's be calm here, shall we?" then there was complete and total silence.

"Olga, why?" Helga suddenly asked, breaking the silence, "Why do you want to take me to DMV? You just _love_ taking me out of my comfort zone, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want anyone to see me while I'm driving! It's a test! I want to be at my peak performance!"

"Well, you drive quite well when daddy is around with you." Olga replied back. "What's wrong with me trying to give you some encouragement by being together with you?"

"Because…" Helga felt it was so hard to tell Olga the truth, "You're different! Because when I'm with you, I always have this feeling where I always have the need to be better than you! And because of that, I tend to get clumsy and couldn't concentrate on that one single task! I never had that feeling of confidence every time you're there. So…" Helga replied weakly, "I'd really appreciate it if you just stay out of the way." Helga shifted her eyes slowly at Olga. She could see sadness on her sister's face.

"I'm…" Olga replied weakly, "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way, baby sister…"

The sad face and the even more upset response made Helga all awful inside. She regretted of saying that to her sister, and unfortunately for her, it couldn't be undone. What said has been said, and she couldn't retract it back. And so, on their final length of the journey they didn't exchange any sort of conversation whatsoever.

"We're here…" Olga said as she entered the Department of Motor Vehicles office. After finding a parking space, they then got out from the car and into the building.

"Man, this place smells like old people." Helga replied, while rubbing her nose. She then turned around to find for her sister, but she was gone. Helga then searched around, only to see Olga trying to exit the building. "Olga. Where are you going?"

"I'll be waiting at the cafeteria." Olga replied back. "You said it yourself you don't want me around when you're taking the test."

"Look, Olga…" Helga sighed, looking down at her feet. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I do want to be better than you Olga, but it's very hard for me because you always have the upper hand. I don't look at you as an obstacle, but rather… as a guidance to make me be better at my life. You're my sister Olga, a family member, and any encouragement is much appreciated." She tried to smile warmly at Olga. Olga returned the smiled back, and felt the answer was pretty moving.

"So, you want me to be with you during the driving test?" Olga asked back.

"Well…" Helga replied back. "I don't know… if I do, could you make yourself unnoticeable?"

"It'd be like I was never there." Olga exclaimed back. The answer was good enough for Helga. After she did what she had to do before taking the final driver's test, she was now outside sitting on the stairs while her sister stood next to her, while waiting for her driving instructor to arrive. "Man, this is taking too long!" Helga said while looking at the clock on the wall inside. Where the heck is the instructor? I bet he's a bald, smelly guy who's divorced thrice and lives on a van down by the river because he's a total loser!"

And so suddenly, there was footsteps coming from the corner nearby. Helga and Olga looked at it, and to their surprise, it was a young man, about as the same age as Olga, smartly dressed, well built with boyish good looks. "Hi. I'm looking for a Miss Pataki?" he said in a composed, firm voice as he smiled with his lady killer smile.

Both sisters were stunned at his appearance. He was so hot, both of them thought to themselves. Arnold could wait for a while. "I am!" Both sisters said it at the same time.

**VI**

So the three of them were in the car now, while Olga at the back passenger seat, watching Helga preparing for her test. Taking the brief opportunity, Olga moved her head to the middle of the front seat and gazed admiringly at Helga's instructor, "So…" Olga said, trying to flirt to with the guy, "What's a guy like you doing in a place like this?"

"Well, the reason for a guy like me doing in a place like this is because I'm taking this only as a temporary job until I find a real one. I just recently graduated and I'm looking for an engineering work." He replied back while writing something on the clipboard. "Do you know where I can find one around this city?" he replied back, smiling.

"Ooh, you're an engineer?" Olga replied. She digs smart guys. "What kind of engineer? Mechanical? Electrical? Structural? Aviation? You know, I learned some engineering when I was in college too." Helga, on the other hand, was getting distraught, that Olga once again, trying to meddle with her concentration. Besides, she wanted to flirt with her instructor too.

"Aww, isn't it sweet of both of you guys trying to get to know each other and all that…" Helga interjected suddenly with sweet and sarcastic tone, "But hmm… something seems to be wrong here. Oh, I know… aren't I supposed to have a test right now, and _he_ supposed to evaluate me?" Helga made her point, and the both of them looked each other embarrassedly.

"Yeah… your sister is right." he said, chucking softly. "I should do my job. I'm gonna get fired by that crazy old lady boss of mine if she finds out I'm goofing around with the student driver's sister."

"_Charming." _Olga thought to herself, as she gazed at those fascinating blue eyes of his on the middle rearview mirror.

"Shall we begin?" Helga asked the instructor with a flirting voice, while smiling suggestively at him.

He was a bit disturbed, but he tried to ignore it, "Let's begin." He replied back, looking back at Helga with his lady killer smile. "As long as you follow my instructions, obey the rules of the road, then you should be fine. Okay, you may drive now."

Helga nodded back, and shifted the gear. Thus begin her driving test. As they drove along, they went pass a field where the guys were playing baseball. Sid noticed Helga first, and said to his friends, "Guys, is that Helga?"

"I think so." Gerald replied. He then tried to make sure. "Yup, that's her all right. Phoebe told me she has a driver's test today."

A small smile carved on Sid's face. He then turned around and called for Harold, who was practicing his swing, "Hey Harold, you're thinking what I'm thinking?" Harold smiled back, and ran up to Sid. Stinky joined in, but Gerald just stood still from afar, shaking his head at his friends – although he was smiling.

"WWHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO! Hey, Helga baby!" Sid screamed loudly to gain Helga's attention as she drove in front of the field. He then took his shirt off and spun it in the air, while screaming again. Harold wiggled his butt at her, while Stinky did a pelvic thrust repeatedly. Everyone looked at the charade either with disgust or in disbelief. One of Helga's eyes was twitching. She then winded the window down and gave them a 'signal' of her own. The guys went quiet after she flashed that sign at them.

"Did she do what I think she did?" Harold asked disbelievingly.

"I don't think the DMV would approve that…" Sid replied, still in stun as he watched the car traveling away.

"Your friends?" the instructor asked Helga.

"More of an annoyance, actually." She replied back, stopping the car the red light.

"Normally I would disapprove such behavior," the instructor said back, biting the end of his pen, "but in this case, I'm giving you an exception. Points for you." He then checked something on the clipboard, and Helga was pleased. The older sister too, was glad. Olga thought that he probably went easy with Helga because he wanted to please her. Olga could feel the subtle vibe.

Helga then drove back into the DMV, as instructed by the instructor. Her test was officially over after she parked the car in front of the building. Her instructor was doing some counting as he being watched by both Helga and Olga. Then, after a nervous wait, the instructor said, "Helga, I am thoroughly pleased with your driving skills." Helga smiled back. "I've cumulated all your points and I'm happy to announce that you have passed the test." Helga and Olga screamed joyfully and gave each other a hug. "Congratulations." He replied back with a smile as he gave the marking paper to Helga. He then, just so suddenly received hugs from the sisters as a sign of thank you. After the joyous occasion, they then got out from the car, and wished each other goodbye. But before Olga left, she gave the instructor her number and whispered to him:

"Call me." in a very sultry voice. The instructor was a bit of surprised, but kept his cool as he watched Olga walked away from him in a very attractive way. Helga shook her head in disbelief and said to her sister:

"That is so lame." She smiled at her.

"But it worked." Olga replied, smiling back.

**VII**

And as Helga typed some final words to Arnold, the phone rang, and Helga picked it up. "Yel-lo?"

"How's the test?" Helga recognized that voice well. It was Phoebe's.

"What do you think?" Helga replied back, smiling.

"You fail?" Phoebe gave a teasing shot.

"Hah!" Helga replied back, "In your dreams! Of course I passed the test!"

"Oh, congratulations Helga!" Phoebe responded happily. "So when are you going to take me on a ride?"

"What, just because I have a license now doesn't mean I'm your chauffeur, Pheebs!" she replied, grinning. "But hey, since I'm in a very good mood right now, I might as well take y'all around town. But not right now. I'm going out with my family. Fancy dinner, most likely."

"Make sure you give me a ride!" Phoebe said again.

"Hey, ask me that again one more time and you're off my list!" Helga replied happily, "See you tomorrow, Pheebs."

"Make sure you're bringing your car when you see me tomorrow!" Phoebe giggled back, and put the phone down. Helga could only laugh at her friend, and she then put the phone down. Afterwards, she finalized her email to Arnold:

_Phoebe just called me, and asked for me to take her on a ride. Who does she thinks I am? Her chauffeur or something? Meh, I will give her a ride eventually, but until that day comes, I'm going to drive solo, just to know how it feels like to be a bona fide driver. You go splash around in mud with your 4x4 Arnold, while I drive around on the asphalt and smell the burning rubber from the wheel._

_Fast and Furious,_

_Helga.

* * *

_To me, this was a very fun episode to write, just because Olga is in here and the banther exchange between Bob and Helga. Well, that's it. Thanks for reading and please leave a review.


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